Angels Will Carry Me Home
by Ava Chanel
Summary: AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. CloudxTifaxZack. COMPLETE.
1. The Good Girl

**A/N: **_Despite knowing what's good for me, here I am writing a fanfiction on a total whim! Yeah, that's right; I have no plans for this at all, it was just a crazy idea that came into my head. Let's see where it goes, shall we?_

_Warning: Tifa is pretty OOC. :\_

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Prologue:**

**The Good Girl**

I like being a goody-two-shoe. Heck, anytime someone called me that in grade school, I'd turn around, smile and thank them. There is nothing wrong with being a goody goody. I don't get why it's considered teasing or bullying when it's so clearly a compliment. For one thing, it means all the adults you meet like you. This is extremely advantageous, especially as a child because it means you earn privileges that naughty kids do not get to have. For instance, a naughty child would get scolded for hogging the popular toy during play time for more than twenty minutes. I, on the other hand, was encouraged to keep it as long as I liked.

So why wouldn't I want to be good? I get favoritism all the time; I am trusted and well liked among many, besides my jealous peers, and I succeed in life, naturally. All those things like teen pregnancy and drugs never became an issue for me. Why? Because I am a good, virtuous girl. And everyone knows that a 'good girl' does not do drugs and does not associate with the male gender under such terms. Instead, good girls focus on their studies, do well in school and are always home before dinner time to help set up the table. With a schedule like that, who even has time for 'bad' things?

That's right; while everyone else in high school and college went out getting drunk, getting high or having sex, I was in bed, curled up with a good book to read. Given the chance, I'd do the same thing again. Why be bad? Why deal with all those nasty consequences when you can be good and live in peace? I don't understand that lifestyle choice.

Which is why I enjoy working with these misguided souls. I like helping them turn their lives around, even if it takes them throwing food at my face, snickering behind my back and calling me terrible names just to get there. It would all be worth it, if their lives can change for the better. By being good, I can set an example for them, show them that there is other ways.

St. Joseph's convent is the perfect place for me because I can do exactly that. I can teach people that the next time someone calls them a goody goody or a goody-two-shoes, they can embrace it, instead of being insulted. They will enjoy being good and forget all about the bad. As long as they seek forgiveness for their sins, God forgives them anyways. It just takes them some time to get there, ya know?

That is why, I, Tifa Lockhart, swear to dedicate my life in helping those around me improve their lives, through God and through the goodness of my own heart. I've been doing it for years, after all. I've seen everything at this point and I don't think there's anything out there that I can't handle.

Although, sister Elmyra did seem a bit worried today regarding my newest assignment. She said I would be faced with many challenges in the near future and that everything I believe in will be tested; that I must be steadfast and pray often, and most importantly, not give up.

I'm hardly afraid, though and I believe my resolve is practically impenetrable. In fact, I had beamed at her when she told me that these two youths were different from what I'm used to. More of a challenge. Not that I mind. For there is no darkness that light cannot penetrate and I will take on the task of being that much needed light for all of these poor souls. May God give me strength!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_I know Tifa is very OOC, but I wanted to have a play at this and I'm pretty sure I have an idea on how to justify her behaviour. All types of feedback is welcomed. :)_


	2. The Bad Influence

**A/N: **_Writer's block is evil. So I'm going to try and stick with this one until I can write normally again. _

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter One:**

**The Bad Influence**

Zack Fair. Cloud Strife. Those are the names of my two new assignments. Oh, I shouldn't call them assignments. Silly me, they're people, not objects and must be treated as such. Besides, these poor boys have spent most of their lives being treated like things! How awful would it be if I start seeing them in such a way? It would be no help at all to either of them.

So, let's start again. Zack Fair and Cloud Strife are the two new youths that are to be taken under my wing, here at St. Joseph's. That sounds better. Anywho, sister Elmyra was pretty vague about their descriptions other than the fact that they are male prostitutes that work in the slums of Midgar. Translated, that implies that they've seen and done a lot, these boys. Which also means that I'd need to tread carefully while working with them. I could easily scare them away, offend them or hurt them without meaning to.

Other than that, sister Elmyra told me nothing. When I questioned her about it, she simply replied that I would see for myself upon meeting them. It was fine, really. I prefer using my own judgement, anyways. It prevents these misconstrued, preconceived notions.

When I walked in through the large, cathedral doors of the old St. Joseph's convent, I was greeted immediately with the view of all the sisters bustling about, preparing for the busy day ahead. The chapel had a few sisters kneeling and saying their morning prayers, hands clasped and eyes closed while they exchanged words with God. I removed my hood and made the sign of the cross and then proceeded to take my place next to sister Elmyra, who was also deep in prayer. The wood creaked just a touch when I knelt, but the place was so old, everything made noises.

I clasped my hands together, took in the wonderful sight of the large, golden crucifix hanging at the altar and then bowed my head and shut my eyes.

Good morning, God.

First off, I'd like to thank you for the gracious weather you've given us today.

It's a touch cold and windy but at least the sun is out.

The homeless and those on the street can also catch a break from all the terrible blizzards we've been having lately. We're running out of warm blankets to give to them and then, there are those who live farther away from sector six that we cannot get to.

Now if I may make a few requests? Small ones, I promise.

Can today run a bit smoother than yesterday? Not that I mind all the challenges that you throw my way, but sometimes, it is a little overwhelming. Cleaning out all the food from my hair is becoming a little tedious and more difficult and I really don't want to cut it all off...

Other than that, I just wish for good luck so that I can be good and helpful to the two new wards, Cloud and Zack, today.

Thank you for listening!

Amen.

I quickly made the sign of the cross and opened my eyes to see that sister Elmyra had sat down next to me. I sat next to her and smiled brightly, mouthing a soft "good morning" at her when I did.

She smiled back but did not speak. Instead, she ushered me to stand up and we both exited the pew rather hurriedly. When we were out of the quiet chapel and into a secluded corridor that led to all the rooms, sister Elmyra stopped me by grabbing my arm and turning me around, her large brown eyes serious and foreboding. What had gotten her into such a fright?

"Tifa, my dear. Oh, Tifa..." She said, the wrinkles and lines on her face becoming more prominent as she frowned.

"What is it, sister?" I asked.

She let go of my arm and rested her hand on her forehead, "I just...perhaps it is not so wise that you undertake this new task, Tifa."

My heart sank; she could not do this to me! Not after I had waited for so long and with so much anticipation.

"What? But sister, why not? What has changed?" Even to me, my voice sounded desperate.

She sighed and looked worried when she spoke, "It's just...those boys. They aren't...appropriate for a girl as young as you."

I cracked a smile of relief when she said this and then patted her shoulder, "Sister, I've dealt with young boys before. I'm sure there won't be much difference. They are only children, after all."

Sister Elmyra shook her head, her expression still solemn, "No, Tifa. These boys are not children. They are very close to your age. I'm afraid they may...ruin you."

Ruin me? Because they were my age? That was not likely to happen. I've been around many 'bad' people before. Drug dealers, prostitutes, drug doers, people with anger issues, histories of violence, rape. How can two young male prostitutes possibly be more of a threat to me?

I continued to smile at sister Elmyra, trying my best to placate her when I spoke, "I have dealt with worse situations, sister. Why fear for me now? Besides, St. Joseph's is a safe place. These boys are here because they want help. And who better than someone near their age to give it to them?"

This should have been enough to calm her nerves. Enough to smile back at me and agree. But sister Elmyra only looked more distressed as I said this. She didn't argue and she didn't agree. She simply swallowed and said, "Very well. Come along, then. It's time you...met them."

I couldn't hide my surprise at this new piece of information, "Oh! They're here already?"

Sister Elmyra was already walking down the corridor and it was all I could do to catch up to her.

"Yes," she started, "they came in the other night, actually. Caused quite a...ruckus."

I was puzzled, "But, I thought they would be in sometime today in the afternoon?"

"Clearly, there's been a change in plans. Now hurry up, Tifa. I've no time to waste. You know how busy Aerith keeps me these days."

Right. Well, I may not have time to plan it all out now, but I work pretty well under pressure. We'll just have to wait and see how everything goes. I chased after sister Elmyra as she turned a corner. That woman could be fast when she was in a hurry. We were headed to the rooms where all the people we took in slept. The beds were like cots but no one complained; there was a roof over their head and food in their belly.

The boys were probably sleeping; it was pretty early in the morning after all. And I've noticed that all the people I've taken under my wing like to sleep until the afternoon at the least. It was always okay with me anyways; it let me prepare better for when I saw them. But not today, it seemed.

When we walked in, most of the youth were already awake. A sight for sore eyes, most definitely! There was chattering and excited laughter all around, so bright and early in the morning. Sister Elmyra was rooted to the spot but I was beaming. This was good! Early risers are always an improvement! It is much better than being lazy all day long. Sloth is a deadly sin. Many forget that.

Sister Elmyra sighed but made her way through the room and it was my job to follow, a grin plastered onto my face as I observed all the familiar faces, bright and awake. Some were still sleepy and I could see it in their eyes, but it still made me happy to see the hustle and bustle so early. I guess I'm a simple person to please. Appreciate the small things in life, that's what I was taught.

And then we stopped walking. Rather abruptly; I almost knocked into the sister's back. I guess she found who she was looking for. And when I looked around, I noticed a lot of curious eyes were watching as well. Some were even whispering or giggling. Perhaps they too were excited about the two new faces. I sure was. I couldn't step away from sister Elmyra to take a look at the new youths fast enough!

Sister Elmyra put her hands on her hips and observed the boys in front of me. It was all I could do not to let my jaw drop. I could not believe my eyes. These boys...these boys!

"Mornin' sister! How's it hangin'?" The one who spoke was taller.

A lot taller. His hair was as black as the midnight sky and his eyes as blue as day. He was also practically naked. The sheet only covered his middle and every other inch of sun kissed skin was left exposed for the eyes to see. Oh dear Lord, give me the strength to focus on his face. His face. Yes, his face. There's a scar on his jaw line. It's in the shape of an x. I wonder where he got that from?

"Would you please get dressed, Mr. Fair? This is highly inappropriate, especially in a room with young ladies." Sister Elmyra's voice was stern, something that distinguished her among the others. It was why I liked her; she was able to maintain order very well.

Mr. Fair was it? So he would be Zack. He sat up and the covers shifted a little lower. I gasped and turned my gaze, pretty sure my cheeks were aflame. I tried to burn the image in my mind but I could not. The image of the line of dark hair sweeping below his belly button was imprinted in my mind; fresh and evil.

GO AWAY. I willed it out but not before I heard him laugh; a sweet, rich voice, deep and melodic.

"What for? Doesn't God want us to stay like he made us? Besides, the ladies like it." There were giggles from a few of the girls after he said this and when I looked at his face, he winked, flashing me a toothy grin while he was at it.

Sister Elmyra was fuming on the spot; her normally pale cheeks were alight and red and her dark brows were furrowed as she made victim of the boy before her with her glare. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was a bad start to our working together.

"Zack, we can't talk about God like that here, remember?"

This voice was new but also definitely male. I searched for the source of the voice, curious to know who it was that had spoken up. He got up then, having been lying down on the bed next to Zack's. The boy with hair the colour of the sun. When he looked over in our direction, his eyes were an azure blue, like water. But most importantly, he was wearing a t-shirt. I was relieved.

Sister Elmyra seemed to have relaxed a bit when she addressed the other boy, "Actually, Mr. Strife, this is the house of God and there is nothing wrong with Him being the topic on everyone's mind here at St. Joseph's."

And he would be Cloud. So here they were; the two youths that I would be in charge of for the next little while. Only, they weren't very youthful. If anything, they looked older. Much, much older. Both of them were good looking boys, though. Boys that I knew could be living a normal, productive life with normal girlfriends and great jobs. I could see it, envision it. They'd be so very successful and so very happy.

But they weren't. And that was why they were here. Somehow, someway, life brought them to St. Joseph's and God brought them to me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_I think I'm getting rid of writer's block, slowly but surely. Thank you, Colbie Caillat for your new album. :) Any type of feedback is welcome! Apologies for the OOCness that is Tifa, though. :(_


	3. Mad Hatter

**A/N: **_Thanks to all who reviewed and are following this story. :) Here's the newest chapter._

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Two: **

**Mad Hatter**

Finally. I was finally going to get some alone time with Cloud and Zack. People become so different when they do not feel the need to impress everyone around them. I was thinking such would be the case with these two. Being male prostitutes, it was natural that they expect to be the center of attention all the time. I was going to show them that it wouldn't be necessary to impress me if they wanted my attention.

I took in a deep breath outside the door and then proceeded to knock, ever so lightly before turning the knob and walking into the small office. Two sets of blue eyes settled on me and I could feel them; intense and analyzing. I ignored it and smiled at the two boys seated in front of the small desk, making sure not to meet their gaze entirely.

"Good afternoon Mr. Strife and Mr. Fair." I started, masking my own nervousness.

Zack's tall frame was sloppy in the chair and I realized it was because it looked to be a little too small for him. He swung his long and lean arm over the top of the wooden chair and had one leg resting on the knee of the other. He looked comfortable, which was good. But it was Cloud who looked tense.

"Mister? Please. Zack is fine, really. None of that fancy stuff." Zack responded.

Right. I forgot. The sisters had mentioned them being particular about the way I addressed them.

"I prefer Cloud." The fair haired man stated.

But of course. I smiled again and apologized, "Sorry. I'll keep that in mind. My name is Tifa Lockhart but you can just call me Tifa."

No comment. Zack yawned. Cloud watched me and his gaze made my skin prickle. I set my papers on the table before sitting down across from the two men.

"Tifa? That's a weird name." Zack ran a hand through messy black hair when he made the comment.

Weird? Well, I suppose it is a little strange. More different than weird, though. I kept my smile plastered onto my face.

"Weird names are interesting though, aren't they?" I said, trying to make light of the situation.

"Only if you care enough to ask about them. And most people, _Tifa_, don't care." Zack had accentuated my name when he said it.

He was wearing a lazy smile now and the foot hanging in the air was moving to an imaginary beat in his head. What to say, what to say...

He was putting me on the spot but Cloud remained quiet, neither defending me nor agreeing with his friend. I needed to think of something smart.

"Maybe you haven't met the right kind of people because here at St. Joseph's, everyone cares."

Hah. That was good. I'm pretty good. Pretty smooth, actually. Yup.

Zack's smile got wider and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't beautiful. Focus, Tifa!

"So do you care about me, Tifa? Do you care about Cloudy boy over here, too?" He asked me, motioning towards his blonde friend.

I...

Uhm.

"Yes. Of course." I nod awkwardly because I don't know what to make of this scenario.

"Did you hear that, Cloud? This girl cares about us and we haven't even had sex with her yet."

Wh-what?

Zack looks at me with a huge grin, "Look, she's even blushing. Is it because I said the word 'sex'? Did you just visualize us having sex?"

Oh dear. It's all I can do not to make the sign of the cross. While I dwell on my own turmoil, Zack starts laughing. Finally realizing that I've become a mockery to him, I cough and clear my throat.

Rule 1: Never let them think of you as weak. Equality and respect must be mutual.

He stops laughing but he's still smiling.

"So, I've got a few questions for the both of you but I'll start with Cloud. Shall we?" I look at the blonde, choosing to ignore the obnoxious brunette seated next to him, smirking.

Cloud's empty eyes meet mine. There's something hauntingly beautiful about them. How much have those eyes seen...?

"Go ahead. Ask me whatever you want to know. You wouldn't be the first to analyze me." His voice is monotone. There is no feeling. Empty, like the eyes.

I glance at my paper and figure it's about time to start the interview. This part was usually the ugliest. I can never pretend hearing their story doesn't get to me. It always does. But I've had enough practice to hide it.

"Alright. Cloud, do you have any living family members?" Question one.

"No." His answer is expected.

Zack sighed and said, "When's it gonna be my turn?"

I glanced at him and said, "After I'm done with Cloud. It's just important that I know a few basic details about you two before we start our work together."

I go back to Cloud now, who's slouched in his chair and looking disinterested in everything around him.

"Where were you living before you came to St. Joseph's?" Question two.

"I lived in the slums. Moved around a lot. Wherever there was business." I almost cringe at this. But Cloud was as unfazed as ever.

Moving on. "Okay. Uhm, next question. How long have you been...a prostitute?" Now we were getting into more personal matters.

Cloud didn't answer right away. I looked at him and saw that he was gazing out the window.

"A long time. Maybe...too long."

Well...that wasn't specific. Let's try again.

"So, five years? Six?" I prompt.

He turns and fixes his eyes on me; "Why's it matter? Isn't it enough that I said a long time?"

Zack snickered. I'm at a total loss for words. As good as I am, confrontation just isn't my cup of tea.

"Drop it, Tifa. Cloud's been in this business for years. Ain't no one doing it better than he does these days. Quite a reputation, right Cloud?" Zack scooted his chair right next to his friend and threw his arm over his shoulders.

Cloud doesn't even flinch but I still know I've hit some kind of nerve with my question. Oops. I'll remember that for later.

"Okay, that's fine. We'll uh...we'll just move on." I flipped through my sheets in an attempt to find an easier set of questions.

"Hold on." Zack interjects. I look up at him and wonder why he's staring at me with what looks to be...mischief?

"Not fair that you get to interrogate us. Can't we get to know our cute little counsellor, too?"

Wait, what?

"W-what?" I squeak.

Zack leans in, "You know. Every question you ask us, we get to ask you something. It's only fair, right? If we have to tell you all this personal stuff, then I wanna be comfortable enough around you to do that. What do you think, Cloud?" Zack looks at the fair haired man for confirmation.

Cloud shrugged his shoulders and said, "Whatever."

What a strange turn of events. But I need them to trust me. Trust is crucial. Otherwise, we'd be butting heads throughout this whole thing. It'll waste their time and I won't be able to help them at all. After all, the first thing you need is the acceptance. They have to accept my help and they can't do that if they don't even trust me.

I nod but somehow, I know I'll be regretting my decision shortly.

"Okay." I agree.

"Great! Cloud, since she asked you a question, it's your turn to ask her something." Zack encourages his friend.

"...I don't care." Cloud returns to staring out the window.

I had a feeling he was going to be the difficult one in this. But then I look over at Zack and aren't quite sure.

"Fine! I'll ask. So, Tifa..." Zack leans in again, training deep blue eyes on me and resting his chin in the palm of his hand.

White teeth gleam at me and contrast with sun kissed skin. Jet black hair falls into his eyes but he's trying to get as close to me as possible and when he speaks, his voice is like a velvety whisper across my skin.

"What colour are the panties you've got on?"

My face feels like it is on fire and I suddenly become aware of my underwear. What colour? I don't even remember. Wait, why am I even thinking about that? It's not like I was going to tell him! I'm flustered but Zack just grins again, enjoying my reaction, I assume.

Of course; he was a prostitute. He was a tease, a flirt, naturally. Part of the job description. But then there was Cloud who was almost the opposite. I shuffle my papers around, trying to take my mind off of the question Zack asked and also trying to fight off the embarrassment that had occurred because of it. I don't need to look at Zack's face to know that I'm failing miserably.

My panties?

Why would he even want to know about that?

Why is he even curious?

Men are so strange.

"I'd guess white." He says and when I look up, I notice he's talking to Cloud.

He looks at me after and, still smiling, adds, "White because you're a virgin. Goody, goody, right?"

Goody, goody? Looks like it's finally my turn to smile.

"I am a goody goody. And I enjoy it. Now, if you're done speculating about...unnecessary information, I'd like to carry on." I look at my papers but I already know Zack's smile is finally gone.

"Cloud, what was it exactly that brought you into...uhm, this business?" Oh goodness, I almost forgot how terribly detailed these questions were.

"...What do you think?" There's a touch of bitterness in his voice and again, I feel like I've offended him. Oh, dear. Not a good start at all.

"Well, uhm...poverty? I'm assuming the allure of gil was what drove you to it." Shoot. Rule #2: Never assume anything!

Cloud doesn't respond. He just continues to observe me with cool, blue eyes. Zack, surprisingly, is actually quiet and just watching his friend. Curious. Very curious how these two operate.

"...Gil is tight in the slums. People will do almost anything to get it. And once they do, they'll do everything to keep it." Cloud says.

So gil it is. I smile cheerily at him and say, "Well, thankfully, now that you're here at St. Joseph's, you won't have to worry about gil. You can just leave that to us."

Those eyes are trained on me again but it's Zack who speaks, "Look lady, we still need to work and earn gil so that we can save it for the future. So unless you'll be payin' us yourself, that's not likely to happen. We can't just stop doing our thing because you think it's some sort of sin."

This time, he's serious. No playful, lazy smile, no soft eyes, no charm. This time, it's the face of a young boy who feels like he's been threatened. Is it just me or does it seem like things are getting a little out of control?

"I-I see...well, we won't stop you, of course. But hopefully, we can help you reach a point where it won't be necessary. That's all. We can help you get better jobs with more gil." Why is it that I feel I'm just making things worse the more I babble on?

"I don't recall needing your permission." Cloud's cool voice catches my attention next and it's all I can do not to flinch from the way he looks at me.

I'm a little bit too baffled to form any coherent thoughts at the moment so all I say is, "I..uh, well...uhm. Of course!"

I mentally slap myself but it's too late; Cloud's standing up and ready to walk out the door. Zack stands right after. This is not how the interview was supposed to happen! Not at all.

"W-wait! I still have a few more questions!" I'm a total wreck and I start flipping through papers while breaking out into a cold sweat and unsure of whether I should attempt to stop them or continue talking.

Argh!

"I've had enough for today." Is all Cloud says before he leaves the room.

I stare on helplessly after him and I can only assume I look completely and utterly pathetic in this moment. As Zack opens the door to follow his friend, he pauses and turns to look at me. The grin is back and the twinkle in his eye has also made a return.

"Zack Fair. Twenty-three years old. Hail from the small, ghetto town, Gongaga. Couldn't care less about any family so I've never bothered to find out if they're dead or alive. I was fourteen when I realized how amazing sex is. And later figured out how much better it got when I was paid for it. What can I say, doll? I'm just a natural." He winked at me and then closed the door behind him after he left.

Shock. Awe. Jaw dropping. Stunned. I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she met the mad hatter. Never have I endured such a strange, strange conversation. With such...different characters.

Am I going mad?

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** _Finally! Apologies for the slow start but hopefully, things will start picking up plot wise in the next few chapters. I just wanted to get a feel for the characters first and introduce them right so you, as the reader, also kind of get where it's coming from. Again, OOC is going to be common here but hopefully the background stories will explain why each person acts the way they do. :) Any type of feedback welcomed!_


	4. The Blind Girl Who Sees

**A/N: **_Appreciating all the positive feedback for this crazy idea! Thanks guys! :)_

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Three:**

**The Blind Girl Who Sees**

_Okay, so I might be failing at my job right as of now. I can admit that. But, it's hard, you know? Sometimes, I just don't know what the right thing to do or say is. Sometimes, I muck everything up. Like I did with Cloud the other day. It's strange, because it isn't like this is my first case or my first time working with prostitutes. That sounds wrong, but you know that isn't what I mean. Anyways, I guess what I'm really trying to say here is...can I get some help? Pretty please? I don't ask for much often and you know that but this time, I'm really struggling and I want to help them, I really do. Just a little bit of courage or anything really! Whatever it is you can offer me, I'll take it._

_Oh, and one last thing: may sister Elmyra not overcook and burn the rice today._

_Amen._

I'm tired.

I've been up all night working on some projects to help get Cloud and Zack to start trusting me. I don't know how well they'll work considering how different their personalities are, but I figure it will be a start and right now, that's better than what I have; nothing. I let out a long sigh as I stand up in the empty and quiet church. I rub at my eyes and fight off the urge to yawn, looking at my wrist watch for the time.

The hands on the face of the clock move by slowly and indicate to me that it's almost seven AM. I'd be living off of only three hours of sleep but no use complaining about it now. Besides, I was sort of excited to start the day with the boys. I was hoping I'd earn their trust today. I looked up at the crucifix hanging big and tall in the center of the altar. I smiled at it and let out a deep breath.

Time to go find the guys!

On my way to their quarters, I became increasingly aware of the emptiness of the church; not a soul was awake during this time except for a few nuns preparing for the day's work. But if they were awake, I didn't hear them. All I got was the clicking of my heels against the tiled floor echoing throughout the entire hallway. I tried humming to myself to take my mind off of the loneliness.

Almost there.

Just ignore the sounds I think I'm hearing. Just ignore the shadows I feel at my back. They aren't real, they aren't there. This is the house of God; evil cannot enter. Nonetheless, it wouldn't hurt to walk a little faster, right? Don't want to keep the boys waiting.

The shadows were creeping closer, growing larger, feeding off of my fear. I reached the sleeping quarters in the nick of time. I opened the big wooden door and let myself in, closing it behind me, leaving all my fears outside. I felt sweaty and my breaths came in shallow and rapid. Everything was okay now. They couldn't reach me here. I was safe.

I was safe.

So why wouldn't my maddened heart slow down it's pace?

I took in a deep breath through my nose, closed my eyes and focused on the musty old smell of the church before letting it out the same way. A soothing calm washed over me as I clutched at the silver cross on the chain I wore around my neck. My heartbeat relaxed and I opened my eyes again. The room was dark and the many cots spread around were filled with sleeping people, shifting about, snoring and cuddled under the blankets. I made my way towards the beds I knew Zack and Cloud were in and observed their forms, just to be sure it was them. Wouldn't want to wake up any of the other guests and upset them after all.

Cloud's bed was in front of me first and he was curled up underneath his blankets so that all I could see was the outline of his back and a few spikes of his messy blonde hair. As I drew my hand close to what I assumed would be his shoulder, he shivered and I hesitated. A small groan escaped his lips and no one else would have heard it unless they were as close to him as I was. A nightmare?

I recognized the signs. Nonetheless, I would have to wake him.

"Psst, hey Cloud?" I whispered by his ear, long dark strands of my hair falling over his sleeping form when I leaned in.

He flinched but didn't wake up. So I tapped his shoulder lightly and whispered again, "Cloud? Wake up, please. It's me, Tifa."

I shifted the blankets so that they weren't obscuring his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and I wondered what it was going to take to get him to wake up. I tapped him a little harder than before and a single cerulean eye opened.

He freaked out.

His arms went flailing and the next thing I knew, I was laying underneath him with a tip of a blade pressed against my throat. I gulped and was about to let out a scream when recognition crossed Cloud's half sleeping eyes and he covered my mouth with his hand in the nick of time. His blue eyes glowed in the dark, the knife no longer pressed uncomfortably against my skin. My heartbeat was hammering away in my ribcage and, for the second time that night, I was scared out of my wits. My scream came out muffled and thankfully, didn't wake anyone up, but it didn't change the fact that Cloud Strife was probably glowering at me. I guess it might have seemed a bit creepy and suspicious to have waded into the room and woken him up, but he should know better.

Still, he didn't move right away and I was left trapped on top of most of his blanket and with his body hovering inches above mine. Forgive me, Lord, for realizing how he did not have a shirt on this time. These things should not be affecting me. But I couldn't help it; I was definitely blushing. Has it suddenly become taboo to wear clothes to sleep? Maybe I've missed the memo.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Cloud removed his hand and glided off of me, sitting on the edge of his bed instead. Blinking into the darkened room, it took me a few seconds to reorient myself but once I had, I sat up on the bed as well and looked on at Cloud's exposed back. Scars coated his skin; large, small, deep and shallow, they were everywhere. I would grow to learn the hardships of his life that had caused him so much pain but, not right now. He rested his head in his hand and would not turn to acknowledge me. The switchblade that he had used as a weapon had its handle sticking out from underneath his small pillow.

That was a close one.

I glanced at my watch and saw that I had wasted a chunk of time trying to keep my sanity instead of getting to work. I got off of Cloud's cot and decided it was time to wake up Zack. As I made my way to the other side where Cloud was sitting and facing his friend, I could feel his eyes watching my every move. Zack was on his stomach snoring away, long limbs literally hanging off of the edges of his cot with his blanket falling off of him. The man was clearly experiencing a deep sleep because even when I shoved his arm, he would not wake.

"Zack, darn it! You have to get up!" I hissed in a low voice.

Zack yawned and turned his head away from me. I clenched my fists and tried not to lose my patience. Zack would be able to sleep through an earthquake, a hurricane, and if it was possible, an alien invasion, too! Cloud had gotten up now and was standing next to me, observing Zack's sleeping form. He had slipped on a t-shirt during the time I had been trying to rouse Zack. Thank the good heavens! I've been granted a small reprieve.

I looked at Cloud, wondering if he could tell me how to wake up his friend. If he had noticed my gaze on him, he made sure I wasn't aware because his cool blue eyes stayed on Zack. And then, he crept down and stretched out his hand to Zack's torso. I stared, transfixed and wondering what on earth he was going to try that I hadn't already.

He pinched him. Hard. Real hard. Right there just below his armpit and above his stomach. Zack cringed but didn't get up. And so Cloud persisted, pinching him everywhere he could until Zack's skin was turning red. I watched in horror and amazement, my hand covering my mouth. Zack continued to flinch each time Cloud pinched until he was eventually swatting Cloud's hand away, still fighting to hold onto what little sleep he had left. And then he cracked, snapping upright with an irritable look on his face and glaring heatedly at the blonde who had finally ceased his assault.

"What the hell is your fucking problem, Cloud?" Zack snarled, nearly waking up everyone in the room.

I hushed him instantly, becoming paranoid that the others would wake and grow upset, but Zack continued to give heated looks to Cloud. The blonde merely folded his arms over his chest and looked away before saying, "If I have to wake up this early and put up with her, you're definitely coming with me."

Well that was...reassuring.

Its okay, Tifa, things are going to get better. That's right; keep a positive attitude and everything will be fine.

"And what, exactly, are we doing that has to be done at seven in the freaking morning, princess?" Zack's angry glare was set in my direction this time and I won't lie; it was awfully intimidating.

And who was he calling princess anyways? Was that supposed to have been an insult?

I didn't have time for squabbling!

"Oh, get out of bed already and let's go! If we don't get a move on now, we'll be late!" I cried in a voice as low as I could manage.

I grabbed Zack by the arm and started pulling him up while Cloud just watched. He was on his feet in seconds and looking a little less angry than before. Maybe he was just a little cranky. When he had put on a shirt and we had exited the sleeping quarters, he said; "You know, I charge my clients extra for early mornings which is why they generally prefer to let me sleep."

God grant me patience.

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing I'm not one of your clients." I stated, walking faster down the hallway and passing by a few of the early riser nuns going about their daily chores.

Zack laughed a deep, throaty laugh before replying, "Not unless you'd like to be, doll. I can guarantee it'll be worth your while."

While I thought hard about a proper response that wouldn't cause me to blush or admit anything untrue, Cloud piped up, "Leave her alone, Zack. I'm sure everybody knows about how horny you get in the morning by now. Face it; you aren't fooling anyone. Now, Tifa, where are we going in such a rush and what are we doing once we get there?"

Finally! A relevant question that I _can _answer! Would I be going out on a limb when I say Cloud is the more logical of the two?

"Yeah, Tifa. Just why the heck did you wake us up so damn early, anyways? Don't tell me you've got more interviews or something." Zack echoed.

I almost cringe at the memory of the previous day but manage to brush it off before the boys notice.

"You'll just have to wait and see." I say, smiling at them, happy I've got the element of surprise on my side.

Zack just glares while Cloud sighs before saying, "Whatever it is, it better be good. I'd hate to be disappointed after almost killing you when you woke me up."

Zack's eyebrows shot up as he stared at the shorter, fairer man next to him, "You almost did what?"

I blushed. Right. There was that, too.

Cloud ran a hand through messy golden hair, "Don't worry about it, Zack."

"Dude! You've gotta control your emotions." Zack said.

Cloud gave him a deadly look, "I said, drop it."

Zack raised his hands up defensively, "Hey, you brought it up first."

"Let's keep moving, guys! We're almost there." I reminded them, hoping to get their minds off of their argument.

"You mean, we aren't even leaving the church?" Zack asked.

I shook my head, no. Zack looked defeated when I confirmed this but I ignored him because the sun was finally starting to peek through the long, cathedral windows decorating the hall and I was happy to see it. So happy, that I had stopped dead in my tracks and gazed out at the blood red sunrise just over the horizon. Any remnant of the darkness was vanishing and, in spite of myself, I was smiling. A great weight was lifted off of my chest and I felt free.

"Uh...Tifa? Why did you stop?" Zack asked, interrupting my train of thought.

I looked at him and smiled while he continued to stare at me, perplexed. Cloud, on the other hand, was also staring at the sunrise, but his expression remained stoic. I smiled sheepishly at the both of them, feeling a little embarrassed by my sudden actions.

"Sorry guys, I guess I got...a bit distracted. Let's keep going! The room is just around the corner." I tried to explain hastily before continuing my walk.

The boys followed me, not really questioning my actions thereafter. Anyways, we were just outside the room now so it didn't really matter. I knocked on the door before twisting the handle and walking in. It was a small room, empty of any heavy furniture. A small and simple desk was in the corner and then there were a circle of chairs, about eight, taking up the rest of the space. Three of the seats were already occupied by three different women.

Each one gave me a scrutinizing stare but I just smiled cheerily and greeted them, "Hey Scarlett, Cissnei, Yuffie. How's your morning been?"

Scarlett scoffed and folded her arms across her bountiful and exposed chest, looking away from me instantly.

"Just got a lot worse now that you stepped in." She said, and the other two girls snickered.

Zack and Cloud stepped inside after me and observed the scene. Zack's eyes lit up at the sight of the three good looking women while Cloud's just stared them down with an expression void of much emotion. His eyes, as usual, were cool and uncaring. How was it possible for a person to be so emotionally detached from the world? Never mind. That's something to delve into after the trust thing is established. Time to get to work!

"Well, good morning to you all anyways! I just want to introduce you lovely ladies to the two new gentlemen who are also now staying at St. Joseph's. Zack Fair and Cloud Strife." I said cheerily, moving aside so that the girls could see both of their new guests.

All three of them had their eyes widen upon taking notice of the two. I could have sworn a look of mischief crossed Scarlett's features, but I could have been wrong. Just as I got ready to explain the reason for our presence to both parties, Zack walked ahead of me and towards the seated ladies.

Uh, wait. That wasn't supposed to happen.

What happened next was even more appalling; Zack took Scarlett's hand in his and brought it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss while maintaining eye contact the whole time. Scarlett watched him with a small smile on her lips.

Hold up, seriously. This is not supposed to happen.

But it was too late; Zack offered the same greeting to the other two females as well and each one seemed to be blushing radiantly at the new and sudden attention. This was not the purpose of the exercise, not at all. Thankfully, all Cloud did was pull up a chair and take a seat directly across from the three girls. He stretched out his long legs and arms and let out a loud yawn. And then he looked up at me and said, "Can we just get this over with so I can go back to bed?"

I tried to smile despite my frustrations with the flirty ways of Zack Fair and then said, "Right. If everyone could please take their seat now?"

Zack was smiling at Cissnei, but did take the seat next to her after I had asked him to. Okay, just a minor setback. That's all. Back on track.

"Okay, so you're probably all wondering why I've gathered you here today. Zack, Cloud, this is generally the meeting room we use for the females who are victims of prostitution. Today, I brought you guys here as well so that you all can exchange stories and get different perspectives on how this has affected your lives and how it makes you feel." I say as I take a seat next to Cloud so that I can see everyone.

I pull out a pen and clipboard and start jotting down a few notes.

"Wait, you mean you're in charge of this session instead of Aerith today?" Elena cried, looking at me with an irritated face.

"For today, yes. I spoke to Aerith; she understands and said it would be fine, especially if it's for our two new guests." I smile again.

Yuffie rolls her eyes and relaxes back into her chair, "I don't know what's worse; having to spend half an hour with you or her."

Okay. Well, the insults are expected. It's not like this would be the first time I've gotten them. Just turn the other cheek and ignore it; they are troubled souls, after all. I turned to look at Cloud and saw that he was staring Yuffie down with icy blue eyes, but he said nothing. Boy oh boy, was I happy I was not on the receiving end of that glare.

"So, shall we?" I say, trying to change the topic.

Scarlett eyed Cloud and said, "Cloud, huh? Pretty boy type. I know your kind; your kind is the reason why I ended up here. Losing all my clients to your effeminate features."

She then eyed her very much exposed breasts and continued, "Not even a good pair of jugs can save me then. I mean, look at Tifa; big jugs and no man would come near that if you paid him."

She laughed and I suddenly felt self conscious. Do not look at my breasts, do not look at my breasts, do not look at my breasts!

"It's probably got less to do with your chest size and more to do with that brutal mug of yours." Cloud retorted, his voice taking on a bitter edge.

Oh no. No, no, no, no. This was not supposed to be happening! They were not supposed to start insulting each other. Oh God, give me strength, give me strength please! I have to make this stop. But Scarlett was angry now and she gave Cloud the nastiest look she could muster while Zack watched on helplessly.

"Listen brat, I've been in this business much longer than you have. I've seen what happens to pretty boys like you. They all end up in a dumpster one day, their faces all cut up and their penis gone! If you don't want to end up like that, then you need to learn to shut your mouth!" Scarlett cried, glaring daggers at Cloud while everyone watched on in horror.

Well at least, I was watching in horror. I had to stop this. I had to stop this now. But how? How was I going to do that? I almost gasped when I heard Cloud's laugh; just as empty as his eyes and just as cold. It was not a laugh from enjoyment; it was a laugh of mockery.

"You know nothing about me, miss. So maybe it's you who should be watching your mouth? The fact that I've outlived that fate for so long should tell you that I'm not someone to be fucked with. Everyone who has judged me on the pretty boy aspect has regretted it." Cloud threatened.

Swearing. Swearing meant bad territory. Come on Tifa, think!

"Hey, let's just chill out for a second guys and gals. We've all been in this business so we can all get where everyone's coming from. Why don't we just let our pretty counselor take the reins from here, huh?" Zack piped up, sending a wink over my way.

Did he just...call me pretty?

I cleared my throat and snapped out of it when I felt everyone's gaze turn to me, "O-of course! Let's get on track, guys and girls. First off, is there anyone who'd like to share something specific?" My voice sounded shaky even to me.

Damn nerves.

Cissnei was the first to speak, "I have something to share..."

I nodded, indicating for her to go on.

"First off, I hate you. You're nothing but a stuck up bitch. Second of all, Zack is sexy as hell and I'd screw him free of charge. And third of all, these meetings are pointless."

...

I clutched the cross at my neck. I willed away the darkness. All bad thoughts, I have to be rid of them. Cissnei has her reasons for why she is the way she is; she was gang raped by people she thought she knew and could trust. I couldn't hold something against a person who has suffered so much. My ears felt hot and the room was so quiet, I could hear the buzzing of my own thoughts.

"Is this seriously what you wanted us to do?" It was Cloud's voice who brought me back down to earth.

He was watching me now, serious and angry.

"Did you seriously bring us here to be bad mouthed by some dumb whore and her posse? Some therapy session this has been. Peace out." And with that, he stood up and walked out the door while Scarlett and the girls cried out insult after insult his way.

Great. Just great. I've managed to screw things up again. I sighed and felt disappointed in myself. I hadn't even gone through the list of questions and activities I had spent the entire night working on. What a waste of time.

"You know, I've just about had enough of these sessions myself. They're pointless and completely stupid. Not to mention, we have little girls trying to teach grown women about life. Sorry, I just can't be bothered anymore. Ladies, shall we?" It was Cissnei who stood up first and spoke up.

But the other women got up right after her and they proceeded to leave the room, giving me nasty looks along the way. Cissnei gave Zack a wink before leaving and said, "See you around, hot stuff."

Zack smiled I think, but I'm not too sure because I sort of had my head in my hand at this point and was just trying to remain positive about a really bad situation. I was most definitely not crying. I refuse to cry. As a matter of fact, I haven't cried since...

No, no going back there.

I felt a hand on my back and I flinched at the contact, my reflex kicking in and smacking the intruding arm away. I was greeted by Zack's shocked face and I immediately felt guilty.

"Zack! I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I just...reflexes..." I looked away bashfully.

Could I stop making a fool out of myself at some point today? That would be great. Zack smiled at me after and said, "No worries. You've got some killer reflexes, though. Can't be a bad thing..."

I sighed and said, "I guess..."

We sat in the room like that, silent for a bit and I thought he would have left after Cloud. But he didn't and I couldn't, for my life, understand why. He had only just met me and I was pretty sure he wasn't my biggest fan after all my screw-ups already. So why stay?

"Aren't you going to check up on Cloud?" I asked him, looking up at his relaxed features, his lips still curved up into a smile.

It was admirable, how much the guy looked happy despite the circumstances.

"Nah, Cloud's fine. He can take care of himself. He was doing plenty fine before I came along. Besides, you heard him; the stories are true. He isn't someone to take lightly." Zack explained, his face appearing more genuine and innocent than I've ever seen it.

I paused before I asked my next question, " So...why are you still here, then? The meeting is very obviously out of session."

"Well, why are you still here, then?" Zack asked, still smiling at me.

"...I owe Aerith an explanation." I said.

I could see the disappointment on her face already and it hurt to think about it.

"Oh...so, did you want me to leave, then?" His voice took on a childish tone and the innocence of his question struck me as a trait of his I hadn't seen before.

I looked up at him again and smiled reassuringly, "You don't have to...Thanks for sticking around, even though I've made a mess of things."

"Aw, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself! I gotta admit; I admire you for putting up with those girls with the way they treat you. I don't think I'd be as patient as you are. Heck, I'd have socked 'em one good already!" Zack punched the air mockingly and I couldn't help but giggle.

Of all the ways I'd thought we'd have bonded, talking about my failures was definitely not on my list. But it worked out anyways, so I suppose I should be grateful.

"You sure Cloud is alright? He seemed really angry before he left..." I trailed off, worrying about the man who I was not bonding with in any way whatsoever.

"Cloud is fine, trust me! I doubt he was actually angry with you than the girls and what they said." Zack explained.

"Of course; that was rude of Scarlett; I should have intervened before she picked on him." I was feeling terrible now, knowing that Cloud was upset and it was my fault.

Zack shook his head and laughed, "Tifa! Cloud would not be angry about what she said to him! The kid's been through hell and back twice; her words were soft to him, trust me."

Now I looked at him with curiosity and when he saw my face, his smile wilted before he clarified.

"He was probably angry over the fact that they were treating you so terribly." Zack's voice was quiet as he said this.

My eyes widened; why would Cloud care about something like that? He barely even knew me!

"What? That doesn't sound like him at all! Why would he even care about something like that?" I asked Zack, voicing my own thoughts.

His blue gaze drifted over to the ceiling when he spoke, "He was probably relating it to a past experience of his...and seeing you not stick up for yourself probably really bothered him...Sorry, Tifa. I'd tell you more but it's really not my place to be sharing Cloud's secrets."

Zack scratched the back of his head while offering me up a genuine apology. Okay, well at least that made more sense.

"That's fine; he can tell me whenever he's ready." I stated.

Zack didn't say anything to that and it made me wonder if he doubted Cloud would ever tell me.

"Tifa! I heard what happened. Are you feeling okay?" It was Aerith's sweet voice that echoed into the room and drew away my attention, as well as Zack's.

She came in, a stack of books in her arms and jade green eyes staring directly at me. I smiled and stood up, opting to help her out with her load. She smiled as I stacked them on her desk, and then she took my hands in hers and stared at me with eyes that were seeing and not.

"I'm fine, Aerith. Really. I'm just upset that I wasn't able to help..." I admitted.

Zack had stood up now, looking curiously at the girl who had just blatantly ignored him. He stared at her, taking her all in with his eyes. Well, Aerith was a very beautiful young woman, after all. With lovely, long brown curls and bright green eyes matched with a perfectly proportionate body, what man hadn't been enthralled by her sight?

"Hey, I'm Zack." Zack introduced himself, extending a hand to shake Aerith's. She looked up at him and squinted, as if trying really hard to see him but we both know that she couldn't.

"Pleasure to meet you, Zack. I'm Aerith and I work here at St. Joseph's with Tifa. We're also family; she's a sister to me and sister Elmyra is our mother." Aerith explained, smiling brightly and shaking his hand with her smaller, delicate one.

Zack's eyes widened and he looked back and forth between us, trying to draw similarities, I assumed. There were none; we were not biological sisters, but Aerith hated saying that. As far as she was concerned, I was her sister and nothing else mattered.

"We aren't directly related, Zack. What Aerith means is that...we grew up together." I explained.

Well, it wasn't the exact detailed truth but that was something I would definitely not be going into at this point. Actually, I'd rather never get into it. Ever.

"Oh." Zack said as realization hit him.

Aerith kept smiling but then went back to me, "So, you must tell me what happened! I saw the girls storm out and they didn't have many nice words to exchange with me. I told them to meet me outside of the church so that I could tell them what I really thought of them, too."

I gasped because we both knew how Aerith truly felt about the women and the way they talked down to her. She just giggled and then looked at me expectedly. I was quick to understand her and I helped pull out her chair and guided her towards it. Zack watched, curiously.

"Before you even ask, yes. I'm blind." Aerith stated, looking straight ahead of her.

I was taken aback by her sudden exchange of words but the look on Zack's face was even more surprised. I could tell he was feeling awkward and it was interesting to see a man who was once so cocky, embarrassed and flustered. It was sort of...cute.

"So...how did you manage to find the room? I mean, don't you need help?" Zack asked.

Aerith smiled again and said, "Not everyone who's blind is completely without vision. I can still make out shapes and forms. And don't forget I was raised in this church; I know where everything is by heart."

Zack looked at me for confirmation, still shocked by this new piece of information. I shrugged at him; I barely knew all the details behind the reason why Aerith had lost her vision myself, and we had spent a large majority of our lives in each other's company.

"So," Aerith started, "are you going to sit down and explain to me why my group called me all those names before storming out on me, Tifa?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_Finally! Updates! I know, I know. School is draining me so badly. Only reason I was able to complete this chapter was due to the fact that I've had this week off. :) Anywho, thanks for all the feedback and reviews and I hope you enjoyed! All types of feedback welcomed!_


	5. Safe & Sound

**A/N: **_T__hanks for sticking around despite the drought of updates. School was really bad this semester. :( So here's an update at last! A really huge A/N is at the end of the chapter. Do take the time to read it please!_

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Four:**

**Safe & Sound**

_"No one will hurt you anymore."_

_The blood tainted my small hands, crimson, sticky, warm and fresh. It stayed underneath my fingernails and not even all the scrubbing was making it go away. _

_ "No one will hurt you."_

_ The bedroom sheets were painted the same red that covered delicate hands. _

_ A child's hands._

_ Bad things. I've done bad things. Terrible things. These sins are my own and I will be forced to carry them to the grave. _

_ The sirens are sounding; they're coming after me now. But my heart is beating louder than any of them. _

_ They're coming for me._

_ Terrible, terrible things. Unforgivable._

_ Everything was red. The walls, the floor, the carpet, my face. My fingers and palms left traces of it on my cheeks. _

_ The shadows crept closer to me, hands like claws, evil in the slits called their eyes. They danced like flames and smiled maliciously at me._

_ Coming for me._

_ "No one will hurt you." _

_ So why did I feel so helpless? Why was I still frightened? _

_ On my hands and knees, the tears marked their spot on the carpet. Waiting for them to come. Waiting. The shadows would get to me first, creeping along the floor. The sirens would be too late. My soul would be devoured by the devils in this room. _

I woke up to Aerith's bright green eyes hovering over me. I was startled, sweat covered with the covers twisted around me. I bit back a scream and tried my best to calm down the quick beat of my heart. But knowing her, she was already aware. She had grown accustomed to my nightmares. I crept up into the headboard of my bed, freaked out by the way she leaned over and looked at me with those eyes, her head tilted curiously. I didn't say anything, the freshness of the dream still on my mind.

She spoke first, "You slept in."

I did? I looked out the window and only just then became aware of the wonderful light filtering into my room. Sun. Morning. Light.

_You need light to create shadows._

No, no, no. I shook the voice out of my head. Light was good. Morning was good. No nightmares while I was awake. I needed to take my mind off of it. Aerith sat down on my bed and looked out my window.

"I have decided to help you." She stated.

I quirked up an eyebrow and sat up in my bed.

"You have? Why?" I said, my voice sounding somewhat foreign to me, still groggy and distant.

She nodded once, "Because you need help with those two. You can't do it on your own."

Well thanks for having faith in me, Aerith. Her intentions were good but I still found it kind of hurtful that she deemed I couldn't handle it. I rubbed my eyes and threw the covers off of me. I got out of bed and started getting dressed. Aerith didn't move.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked her as I pulled on a pair of pants.

Aerith smiled then, "You'll see."

I rolled my eyes; just like her to be all mysterious.

"Okay, so what's my role in all of it?" I asked.

"You just have to go get them and bring them to my office. We'll take it from there." She continued to stare out the window, hands in her lap.

Vague! Ah well, at least they'll appreciate the fact that I let them get some more sleep than usual. I finished getting dressed and opened my bedroom door with Aerith still sitting on my bed smiling.

"Alright, I should be there soon. Are you going to be okay getting to the office?" I asked her just as I was halfway out the door.

She pulled out a short metal rod and hit a switch in its centre, causing it to expand in length until it became as tall as her, "I think I'll be fine."

It was all I needed to get a move on. I was honestly curious to see how Aerith was going to work with the boys. She always seemed to have a way with the people she worked with. Even Scarlett and her group were usually respectful to her until the other day. Maybe she could get them to open up in a way that I couldn't. I dashed off to the sleeping quarters only to find that both Zack and Cloud were not there.

How strange. It wasn't like them to be up this early.

I made my way to the cafeteria instead, figuring they'd have gone to get some breakfast. On my way there, I ran into Cloud. He was leaving the restroom when I saw him. It was just us and a few sisters in the hallway but his eyes landed on me almost instantly. I tried to muster a smile but he didn't return the gesture. He had his hands in his pockets and he just stood there, staring at me, waiting for me to make my way over. Well, I hated to disappoint. I walked up to him and greeted him.

"Nice to see you up so early, Cloud!" I exclaimed.

"I wanted to talk to you." He said.

Oh.

This is a surprising turn of events. I think I'm shocked. And maybe a little bit frightened.

He steps closer to me and he looks angry, "Are you some sort of pansy?"

... I guess I was too hopeful.

"Wh-what?" I stutter, backing up as he leans into my face.

He clenched his teeth and continued to stare me down, "I said, are you a pansy?"

I really don't know how to answer that.

"I...I don't think so?" I try.

He sighs and backs away from me, clearly annoyed.

"So why do you let them bully you? Do you just expect someone to stick up for you? Do you like it when they talk to you like that?" He argues.

So that's what this is all about. The insults that Scarlett and her friends had said to me in his presence. I remembered Zack's words about how the bullying was what had bothered Cloud. I still didn't understand why he cared so much. I didn't think it was such a big deal, really. But I'd have to tread carefully, we were on shaky grounds.

I shook my head, "I just don't see how getting angry with them would solve anything."

"What kind of stupid excuse is that?" Cloud barked at me.

He rolled his eyes, "It doesn't stop them from doing it either. And that's a problem you need to solve."

I knew he had a point. I knew it, but I just couldn't bring myself to answer. I didn't know how. I didn't know what to say. Should I have been telling them to stop? Of course. I had tried it a while ago. It had only made Scarlett and the others even more spiteful to me. So I figured silence was easier. Maybe ignoring it would make it go away. I stared at my feet.

Cloud surprised me when his hands came up on my shoulders and I was forced to look up at him. It was the first time I saw any real emotion in his expression; sympathy, understanding. His eyes lit up with the emotions and there was the essence of the boy he hid beneath it all.

"Ignoring them won't make it stop. You have to stand up for yourself. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't let people walk all over you. If you do, you'll never learn how to stand up again." His voice was gentle, sincere but desperate.

He meant it.

And just like that, he let go of me and turned away, walking towards the cafeteria. I was at a loss for words. Did Cloud just open up to me? A little? Same mistakes? Had he been bullied once before, too?

Not knowing what else to do, I called after him, "Cloud. We're to meet in Aerith's office at noon. Let Zack know."

He paused when I spoke but he didn't turn to acknowledge that he'd heard me. And then he was off again, walking at his own pace. I watched him go, his words and the nightmare both burning holes through my heart.

-.-

I had no idea what to expect from Aerith. She had a habit of being rather spontaneous and her ideas never made sense until the very end when everything would just come together. So, I was a bit nervous. I entered her office with a deep breath. Zack and Cloud were already there, seated in front of the girl I had come to know as a sister. She was smiling at them but her eyes were elsewhere. Cloud looked at me with chilling eyes and Zack smiled and waved.

"Tifa. Have a seat." Aerith instructed.

I took my place next to Cloud and felt uncomfortable with the way he was watching me, our latest conversation still fresh on my mind.

Aerith continued, "I was just telling Zack and Cloud about how I ended up at St. Joseph's."

That story.

Aerith's story. I wondered why she'd be sharing.

"They were curious so I decided I'd make things less awkward and just tell them everything. Like how I was born blind and how my mother died when I was a very young girl. And then there was that little rebellious period I went through." Aerith's smile widened at the memories.

I couldn't look at her, not when she started speaking about the past. She knew how much I hated it. Zack looked like he pitied her while Cloud remained impossible to read. I wondered if he was touched by her story in any way. The man came off heartless sometimes.

"You remember, right Tifa? That entire fiasco with the Don. I worked for him for a while. He seemed to think that because I was blind, he could take advantage of me. I just wanted to get back at my mother, Elmyra. I knew the only way I could do it was if I hit her where it really hurt; her faith in God." Aerith explained.

I wanted her to stop. The Don had been a scary and hideous looking man. But he was powerful. He had money and henchmen and more often than not, he got what he wanted. Back then, he had wanted Aerith.

She stood up then, out of her seat and straightened out her skirt. Still smiling she said, "Well, I'm sure you can understand where that all went. He raped me when I told him I wasn't going to sleep with him and then he left me in the alleyway to die. Mother found me and took care of me. She took me back in even after I had hurt her. When I asked her why, she told me it was because she had already forgiven me."

I remembered what Aerith had looked like. She had been gone for weeks but Elmyra never gave up her search for her daughter. When we had finally found her in that dirty, disgusting alley, she was battered and bruised and half naked. Make up and blood caked her face and she had been so cold and so pale. I thought she was dead.

"Now," Aerith said, "Shall we head out or did you have any questions?"

Head out? Where were we heading? It was never wise to take the new people outside because there was always a chance they'd run off. I looked over at the boys and noted that Zack's eyes were downcast and he was twiddling his thumbs. It seemed to me there was suddenly a lot on his mind. Cloud had stood up and dug his hands in his pockets, but the way he looked at Aerith now was different.

Unlike Zack, he met her empty green gaze and his features softened. Understanding. He stalked over and picked up her bag. She stood there, serene, beautiful and smiling. But her eyes gazed through the window, never seeing.

"Thank you, Cloud." She said.

No matter that she was blind; Aerith always knew. Somehow, she knew.

I was on my feet as well but I looked at the girl in pink and asked, "Are you sure this is a good idea? Shouldn't we take precautions?"

There was always a lengthy procedure involved with this type of thing. It could be extremely risky and unlike most institutions, the church genuinely cared for our troubled people. Aerith turned her head in my direction and kept wearing her smile.

"Tifa, the fact that you would ask me such a question is why I'm helping you in the first place. What is it that mother always says?" Aerith chided me.

I felt my cheeks burn and Cloud watched me now, mild curiosity evident in his expression.

"Believing in others is the first step to believing in yourself." I chanted the words.

Zack stood up when Aerith walked out of the room, long brown braid swinging. We all followed her in what was an uncomfortable silence for me.

-.-

There was an abandoned church in the slums.

The church that had been burned down almost ten years ago.

Not much was left of it now. It was in shambles, and weeds and grass and vines seemed to grow in abundance in and around it. Despite the very grey nature of the slums, green life pulsed around and about this church and that is most likely why it has been left undisturbed all these years; no one wanted to harm something so ethereal.

The stained glass was either fading or broken. The sunlight pierced through the open roof and nurtured the beautiful gold and ivory lilies that seemed to spring out of the wooden floor. They blossomed and flourished and it was an amazing thing because flowers were rare in the slums.

I knew this church. I knew it because I had once lived here, before it had been burned. It was a sacred place to me and Aerith; it was where we had started out our childhood. My true beginning. When I had found God.

Aerith had grown so attached that she had taken it upon herself to help nurture the lilies that grew here now. When she had spotted the very first bud, she had tended to it and ensured that it thrived. She had once told me that no place on the planet made her feel more at home than this church.

Which was fine.

What I didn't understand was how bringing back old ghosts would help Zack and Cloud.

They stood outside the great walls which were covered in vines and both looked up at the immensity of the church's towers. Even Cloud looked awestruck. Aerith was ahead of us, unlocking the large wooden doors and having them creak open. I walked after her and clutched the cross around my neck. The dust sparkled in the sunlight that poured in through the broken roof and windows. The flowers looked absolutely radiant, completely untouched by their surroundings.

Cloud and Zack walked in, looking like two different people from the men I had met only a while ago. They scrutinized their surroundings and took it all in. Then they saw the flowers and both men looked a little surprised.

Zack was first to break the silence, "Woah! Flowers? Here?" He cried, smiling.

He crouched down next to them and fingered a petal with laughter in his deep blue eyes. Aerith crouched down beside him and smiled.

"Who would have thought they grew here, right?" She said.

Cloud's heavy footsteps drew nearer and he stood beside us, looking at the small field of lilies.

"So, why'd you bring us here anyways?" He asked, still carrying Aerith's bag over his shoulder.

I looked at Aerith, sort of wondering the same thing.

Aerith stood and said, "This is where Tifa and I grew up. This is where we met."

Cloud quirked up an eyebrow, "And?" He pressed.

Aerith giggled, "And you're really impatient, you know that?"

Zack got up and patted Cloud hard on his back, "Yeah buddy. Get a load off. The flowers are pretty, the girls are cute. Just relax and enjoy. We're finally out of the stuffy church and not in someone else's musty bed."

I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked away, afraid I was blushing again. I'd never really had men who looked like Zack tell me I was cute. I was wondering if he was merely implying Aerith and didn't want to be rude to me...

I turned to Aerith and said, "Is this really what you wanted to show them?"

Too many ghosts here. Too many nightmares.

I shivered involuntarily as I recalled the shadows that would creep up on me, dancing about like the flames of a fire. Aerith's hand on my bare arm brought me back to the present.

"You're safe." She whispered and squeezed cool fingers around my flesh.

I nod once and try to forget about the dreams.

She let go and walked over to Cloud.

"Flowers make me feel comfortable. They also tend to make others happy. And you look like you could use some happy. Since I refuse to cut the flowers, I decided to bring you to them instead." She stated.

"They're just flowers." Cloud said.

I decided I needed to step in. I mean, technically, I was supposed to be helping them. What sort of good person was I if I let Aerith do all the work?

"Cloud, has anyone ever given you flowers?" I ask.

Zack bursts out laughing until he was on the verge of tears. Cloud elbowed him in the ribs but it didn't seem to stop him. When Cloud looked at me, he seemed irritated.

"What the heck do you think? I like money. I took money, not flowers. Money bought me food. Money bought me shelter. Money bought me clothes. What would flowers get me?" He argued.

Aerith chimed in this time, to my rescue, "Happiness. Something you obviously lack."

Cloud snapped at her, "Who the hell are you to judge?"

Aerith never flinched, "Well, would you be in the situation you're in right now if you did have happiness?"

Cloud was snarling at her, "If I had money and not some stupid flowers, I would be in a house I owned, in clothes that were clean and with food always in my belly!"

"And would you be happy?"

"Of course!"

"And would you be lonely?"

Silence.

I was getting scared for Aerith. I didn't really know what Cloud was capable of and she seemed to not care that he was losing his temper the more she pressed. While I usually got flustered and apologized, Aerith would fight until she made a point. I suppose after what the Don had done to her, there wasn't much left that a man could do to frighten her.

When Cloud did not reply, Aerith said, "Everyone is a little bit lonely. Whether they have money or," She looked at the lilies growing in the sunlight before continuing, "...flowers."

Zack said with a huge smile, "That's some real deep hippy shit, Aerith."

Aerith, to my surprise, laughed. Zack was taken aback and Cloud remained quiet, defeated by the flower girl only moments before and too ashamed to admit to it.

"I don't do any hippy shit, Zack. You two are both lonely. Money won't fix it. Cloud has sex because he believes it will. While you..." She paused and tilted her head, "You do it for the false connection."

I stood there, practically with my jaw wide open.

I knew Aerith was always bold with her approaches but...well, this was taking it to a whole new level! Normally, I wouldn't get to this stage until much, much later in the treatment process! But here was Aerith, skipping steps and crushing toes. It was completely irrational.

"Now hold on, Aerith. Don't you think you're being a bit harsh?" I say to her.

She shakes her head, "Not at all. I'm merely saying what is true. It is true, isn't it?" She stared at Zack.

He shuffled his feet uncomfortably and ran a hand through his hair but then he smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Guilty as charged. I like sex. I like the closeness of it. It feels...nice." He admitted.

"What's any of this supposed to prove anyways? That we're damaged goods? Don't you think we already know that?" Cloud finally snapped, his voice rising as he yelled at both of us.

Aerith shook her head again, always the calm one while I would flit about in a panic, "No. We're all damaged goods her, Cloud. None of us are above it. And you aren't above appreciating the beauty of a flower and the comfort of a place as peaceful as this."

"And none of us are above enjoying sex because of the closeness it brings." She continued while looking in Zack's direction again.

Zack winked at me then and said, "Except little miss virgin over here, right?"

Oh God no. Not this again. I look to Aerith for help but she's almost laughing at me! So much for having my back. Zack bursts out into a hearty laugh while I stand there fuming and blushing and having thoughts I shouldn't have roaming inside my head. Cloud doesn't look amused, though. He looked as if he wanted to bolt out the door.

But I noticed that he didn't. He could have. But he didn't. And it made me wonder all the more about him.

-.-

We got back a little past dinnertime and the boys went with Aerith to grab something to eat. I thought Cloud would have objected after the way Aerith had talked to him but he didn't say anything. As a matter of fact, he was especially quiet on the ride home while Zack seemed to have completely opened up to us. He was laughing and making jokes and being his playful self. But Cloud would just sit there, quiet and sulky and it was a little bit irritating. Just once, I'd wish he'd say something that wasn't angry or accusing! Just once, I wish he would open up about who he was. All I seemed to get from him was a cold, standoffish personality usually found in cliché mangas or romance novels.

It was starting to really bother me. Sooner or later, he'd have to crack his shell open and spill. And I would be there when he did, ready for it. But for now, I'd let Aerith deal with it; I needed to see sister Elmyra tonight anyways.

I said good-bye and told them to enjoy the food before walking towards the older woman's quarters. She opened her door and looked me up and down questionably.

"Is everything alright, Tifa?" She asked.

I nodded before noting how the sun was beginning to dip and casting shadows with its final flickers of light. I bit my lower lip and told myself that I would not cry. I was no longer a baby. I was no longer a sinner. I was repenting. I was fixing my mistakes. The shadows would not reach me here. But the dreams still haunted me and granted, they would continue to do so for the next few nights.

I looked at her with watery eyes and said, "Pills. I need them again. I need them. Otherwise I'll never sleep. Please."

Sister Elmyra's look softened and she quickly ushered me in, placing a protective arm over my shoulders, "Come in, sweet child. Come in."

She walked to her small bed and stuck her hand beneath the mattress. She pulled it out and had a small plastic bag in her hand with the tiny pills inside. They were so small, barely the size of a grain of rice. But I was so thankful for the sight of them. Those pills would help with the lack of sleep and they had an awfully good habit of kicking away nightmares. When I took one, my sleep was dreamless.

"Did you want to speak about it?" She asked me after she had given me the pills, a look of sympathy evident in the aged creases of her face.

I shook my head and she understood.

"Why not sleep with Aerith tonight? I doubt she would mind." Sister Elmyra suggested.

It didn't seem like a terrible idea; it helped when there was another person I loved in the room whenever I fell asleep. And I was used to Aerith as she was used to me. We had shared a bed many times as little girls.

"I'll think about it. Thank you." I said at last.

"Tifa?" She called after me just as I stepped through the door.

I paused and turned to look at her. I saw the face of the woman I loved as my own mother. I still remembered the day she found Aerith in the alley. She had been strong for her then. She had carried her, bloody and broken in her arms and tended to her with love. And at night she cried. She cried and she prayed and she called her God cruel for what he did to her sweet daughter. And every night Aerith had spent away in an attempt to hurt her, she had cried. But in front of Aerith, she was cool and distant, always the just guardian. Only I saw the tears. Only I heard the prayers. Only I knew the sister whose faith had finally broken.

She pulled me to her then, placing my head against her bosom and kissed my forehead. She stroked my hair tenderly and her scent made me want to cry as I recalled my childhood memories spent in her arms.

Before she let me go, I heard her whisper in my ear like a mantra, "You're safe now. No one will hurt you. You're safe..."

-.-

**A/N: **_This one is dedicated to every one of my readers and reviewers who helped me. All your comments, all your feedback and everything you've done for me is something I won't ever forget. I value each and every one of you and I value each and every word you have written to me. A lot of your support brought me to tears and I have no way of thanking you enough for what you guys have given me. The least I can do is tell you that it is very much appreciated and keep updating my stories, hoping you keep enjoying them. _

_Thank you all. I will message you back if I can but to all the people reviewing as anons, know that this message is as much for you as everyone else. Reading what you wrote me has inspired and motivated me to keep writing and not give up my voice. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This chapter is for all of you. _


	6. Marry the Night

**A/N: **_Here's the latest chapter. Appreciating all the feedback. Thanks guys!_

**Summary:**__AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Five:**

**Marry the Night**

"Rise and shine, little miss virgin."

It was Zack's voice that woke me up this time around, and when I blinked open my eyes, I was met with his pearly white grin and deep indigo eyes. My vision was still a bit hazy and I was seeing double, thinking I must have been dreaming. I was dreaming, right?

No, that's not right. I took the medication last night and amidst all the tears and the fear, I had managed to pass out. How and when, I couldn't recall. But here I was, in my own bed and awakening from a dreamless sleep. That's how it always went. It was how I liked it. I sat up in my bed, still feeling groggy and gathering all my bearings while Zack stalked around my room and analyzed my things.

"So, where do you keep the panties? Save me the time and just tell me because I'm probably going to find them anyways." He stated.

"Huh?" I rubbed at my eyes and tried to wake up but truthfully, all I wanted to do was collapse back into my blankets and pillow and say goodbye to the sunlight for just a little longer...yeah, five more minutes. Or maybe ten. No, fifteen. Okay, thirty is fair.

"Hey! No sleeping!" Zack cried, jolting me awake just as my eyelids had fallen shut.

He hopped onto my bed and leaned forward until his face was only inches away from mine. I backed up and banged my head against the wooden headboard of the bed frame. He just smiled and grabbed me by the shoulders before shaking me.

"I said no sleeping! If I can't sleep, neither can you. Besides, isn't it past time you got up, early bird?" He said as he continued to shake me.

I was getting a bit dizzy when he finally let go. I rubbed at my temple and tried again to wake up. The sunlight filtered through my open window and I wondered what time it was.

"Ugh," I started, "How long have I been asleep?" I asked Zack.

The raven haired man rolled his eyes and said, "Well, seeing as how you're usually up at the crack of dawn, you're about nine hours overdue in waking us up."

Oh my goodness! Nine hours?! Well, that got me to wake up really quickly! I practically scared Zack out of his skin when I jumped out of the covers and ran around my room in a hot mess. My hair was sticking up at odd angles, I was wearing my pyjamas which meant, I wasn't wearing much and when I got a glance of my face in the mirror, I was almost hoping this was a nightmare.

"So much to do, so much to do! How could I have slept in?! How?!" I cried as I bustled around, looking for something decent to wear.

Zack stayed rooted to the spot on my bed, watching me go with an amused expression. Good. He could find this entertaining all he liked. But I had a job to do and I had overslept! I couldn't even remember the last time I had overslept. Must have been years...

"You need to relax. It's not like Cloud and I have anywhere else to be, you know." Zack explained while I threw on a pair of pants and almost tripped doing it.

"There are still things to do! Things I am behind in now!" I shouted, finally managing to get the pants to zip up after quite the struggle.

"Oh really? Like what? Another trip with flower lady? This time, do we get to go to the zoo? I've always wanted to go to the zoo." Zack asked, quite calmly.

I thought he was mocking Aerith but when I looked at him, he was wearing a most contemplative expression and I knew he was serious, despite how strange it sounded. The more I got to know Zack, the more I saw the young boy who was deprived of a childhood. I mean, even I got to go to the zoo when I was younger. Of course, sister Elmyra was the one who took Aerith and I. Before meeting them...no, no. Not going back there.

I was just about to take off my baggy t-shirt when I realized that Zack's prying eyes were still in the room. I stopped halfway through lifting it up and stared at him sitting there, still in a daze. When the room grew quiet, he glanced over at me to see why I had stopped and then his face lit up with mischief. Oh, no you don't.

"Out." I stated, pointing at the door.

He pouted and said, "Aww, but I was enjoying the show! I already saw you in your underwear. Frilly pink, real cute. Would have thought you'd be more of a devil red. Good girl gone bad sort of thing, you know. Totally sexy."

I pretended to be unaffected by his perverseness and kept my finger pointed at the door. There was no way I was taking my shirt off in front of him. No way. I didn't have a bra on. And that would be even more shameful than him seeing my underwear. When he noticed I wasn't giving in, he rolled off my bed and slowly walked towards the door. Before exiting, he turned and smiled cheekily.

"See you in a few, sweet cheeks?" He asked.

I sighed and pushed him out the door, locking it behind him.

Now, what was on the agenda for today?

Oh, right. I didn't really have one. I had passed out and hadn't formulated any sort of activity. Aerith may have helped me but she had also taken me away from my game plan and by the looks of it, the trip to the church was a onetime deal sort of thing. So now I was left stranded and unsure. Great. Just great. After years of helping out the used and abused, I was suddenly becoming a total newbie to the entire ordeal. I just couldn't understand why. Zack Fair and Cloud Strife. I had never struggled this much with anyone. Why them?

I stared up at the cross hanging on my wall and said, "You must have a reason for it. You always do. I won't give up. I won't. Promise."

-.-

I was surprised to see both Cloud and Zack changed and ready in the hallway. When I stepped out of my room, Zack smiled and waved while Cloud just stared at me. I wondered if he ever woke up on the right side of the bed. I mean, he was a male prostitute. Didn't that mean that his clients appreciated some pillow talk or emotion afterwards?

Then again, that wasn't exactly what he was paid for...Maybe they just wanted the deed done and then they wanted him gone and out of their bed. I didn't really know how it all worked; every prostitute in the slums was different, had a unique agenda and with it, a specific clientele. Zack was obviously cougar fodder; he was just the right amount of manly and boyish charm to appeal to that crowd. Scarlett's specialty seemed to focus on rich and wrinkly men, what with her high maintenance attitude and curvature. Then there was Cloud...

It was likely that with a pretty and youthful face, his clients were usually men. Maybe the occasional older woman. But truthfully, I couldn't say for sure. He was difficult to read. With such a detached personality, his clients could have been anyone and I'd never know.

"Told you she'd be out in a jiffy." I overheard Zack say to Cloud.

Cloud stuffed his hands in his pant pockets and regarded me coolly, "What kind of surprise are we in for today?"

Oh darn. I had been hoping we'd avoid that part for some time. I still needed to think. As a matter of fact, I had been banking on meeting them in the cafeteria so that I could have at least thought it out before getting there. Instead, I ended up standing there like a fool, shuffling my feet and trying to come up with it on the spot. I was never really good under pressure.

"Well I uh, uhm...you see, I was thinking we could er...uh..." I stuttered, forcing myself to think.

Come on, Tifa! Think!

Zack laughed, "Look's like our little bird has forgotten how to sing. Could it be, we have no plans today?"

My eyes widened while Cloud and Zack exchanged looks. No, wait. NO. That's not what was supposed to happen! Darn it, why couldn't I think straight?!

"Of course I have something planned! I mean, how could I not? Duh. I would obviously have to come up with something. What sort of help would I be if I didn't? It's highly unprofessional to be unprepared for a job, you know?!" I cried desperately, speaking way too quickly for my own good.

Cloud quirked up a single golden eyebrow while Zack's smile grew wider and wider the more I spoke. It was clear neither believed me. Zack thought it was funny and Cloud seemed concerned. But both of them saw right through me. That was when I realized I had told a lie. But I mean, it was a white lie? Okay fine.

I sighed, "No, I don't have anything planned...I fell asleep and...forgot." I admitted, defeated.

My face was on fire, I was so embarrassed.

"So. We can have the day off?" Cloud asked me.

"I uh...I don't know. I mean, I can ask Aerith and see what she has planned." I said, searching my brain for a possible solution.

"She can't help you today. She's got to do some damage control with her own group after the fiasco that happened a few days ago. She said she'd pop by and see you later tonight." Cloud explained.

What? When had he...? Aerith had spoken to him? Cloud seemed to sense the question on the tip of my tongue and answered it before I pestered him.

"While you were sleeping, she asked me to help her set up the room. So I did." He said.

Oh.

"I see." I said.

"So?" Zack asked me, his arms folded across his chest.

"So what?" I ask back.

"Do we get the day off or what?" Zack persisted.

I stayed silent for what felt like forever. I mean, I couldn't just give them the day off but...I had absolutely no clue what to do. I needed some time to plan it out. But it was obvious they weren't willing to wait.

"Aww, I think if we left, she'd be lonely, Cloud." Zack said in a patronizing voice.

What?!

"Are you suggesting we take her with us?" Cloud asked his friend, acting like I wasn't even standing there listening to them talk about me.

Zack grinned at the shorter blonde man and said, "Well, why not? She's shown us so much about her world. It's about time we introduced her to ours. Don't you think?"

There was no way this was going to end well for me. Simply no way. I was getting heart palpitations thinking about it. But I stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to speak or do anything about it. All I could do was watch the train wreck in slow motion.

"Hmmm," Cloud pondered, "That's not such a bad idea. We should give her a taste of where we come from. It could help her with her 'research' on us. And maybe help her with planning out the rest of our stay here."

Then, they both turned and addressed me. Zack leered at me like I was suddenly an experiment and Cloud judged me carefully, like he was picturing it. What the heck did any of that even mean? Where were they going to take me? And what made them think I was even going to go?

"I say, she has to come, right Cloud?" Zack said, practically reading my mind.

Cloud nodded in agreement, "If she doesn't, I think sister Elmyra will wonder why she's still here and why we're not. And if she finds out that she didn't plan anything, she might get into trouble."

Oh they wouldn't dare.

The look on their faces said they would definitely dare.

"Better get dressed, princess. You're in for a wild night." Zack grabbed me by the shoulders, turned me around and marched me back into my room.

"H-hey!" I cried.

"Trust me, you'll want to get into something a lot more appropriate if you're coming with us." Zack explained.

Too bad Zack was unaware that my entire wardrobe consisted of regular, every day clothes and nothing that would make me 'sparkle', as he put it. One victory at a time. Zack changed into a black fishnet tank top that left very little to the imagination as well as some pretty tight and ripped up jeans. His jet black hair was styled in spikes and I was left wondering where his black eyeliner and nail polish were off to. When I asked, he laughed at me and patted me on the back.

I guess I should have expected as much from Zack. It was Cloud that caught me off guard. He had a much smaller frame than Zack since he was slightly shorter. He was also a tad bit slimmer. He went for a light blue denim looking dress shirt with a simple black blazer on top, paired with black slacks. It was quite a simple look and brought out a lot of his boyishness as well as his striking eyes. I was left feeling a little underdressed in deep navy blue jeans and a white wife beater that Zack had forced me into. I usually used it as an undershirt but he insisted it was sexy this way. I didn't see it but I figured I should let him have his way this once.

By the time we were all dressed and ready, a lot of the day had vanished. On our way out, we walked by a lot of the other residents of St. Joseph's who gave both Cloud and Zack hungry stares. I was shocked to see how little it bothered them. I found it highly intimidating. Then again, perhaps they were used to it.

"So where exactly are you guys taking me?" I piped up as we exited through the large doors of the church.

Zack and Cloud did that thing again where they exchanged knowing looks while leaving me out of the loop entirely.

"Oh, you'll see." Zack said.

"Are we going to be outside? Because I'm going to get cold." I complained, already feeling the chill of the evening.

"Oh and, we can't stay out too late. We have to wake up early tomorrow. It is Sunday mass after all." I continued, practically chasing after the guys down the sidewalk with their long strides.

I didn't get an answer to anything I said so I simply followed and stayed quiet. They still wouldn't tell me where we were going, even after the bus rides and subway. Wherever we were headed, it was in the heart of the slums. The transits were bustling with life of the regular night goers. Girls were dressed in questionably revealing clothing and heels as skinny and high as an unsharpened pencil. Men were dressed in the best a slum dweller could afford and made up for what they lacked with strong and spicy cologne. I was grateful to be sandwiched between Cloud and Zack on the trains. Somehow, I felt safe there. Not to mention, they smelled very pleasant.

I stumbled out of the station after them when I saw the name of the building we were headed to. 'Honeybee' was written in cursive, bright pink lighting and there was a huge line to get in. A big and tall dark skinned man stood at the door, muscled arms folded across his barrel chest. He was letting people in and he didn't look too happy to be doing it. His expression was that of no nonsense tolerated and you were stupid to even try. I thought we were going to the back of the line but Cloud and Zack walked right over to the man and he grinned when he saw them.

Zack smiled in greeting, "Hey Barret. Long time no see, huh?"

"Where the hell you two been?" Barret said in a deep, booming voice.

"Oh you know, here and there." Cloud replied.

"Didn't think I'd be seein' you two's skinny, spikey asses round these parts again. Welcome back." Barret remarked.

Then his dark brown eyes fell on me and he nodded in my direction, "Who's the broad? Never seen her before. Don't look like any of your usuals."

Zack threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him so that my head was on his chest. I could see his nipple and the silver piercing going through it. Oh dear Lord, give me strength.

"She's new." Zack winked.

Barret flashed a big smile and looked at me differently this time, as if there was some kind of hidden meaning in what Zack just said.

"Aw, I see! Well then, you guys have a good time." Barret kept looking at me with a strange smile even as he let us in.

A few people in line complained but he shot them a warning look and they clammed up real quick. Zack didn't remove his arm from around me. Instead, he leaned down towards me as we entered and spoke in my ear while still wearing his signature smile, "Stick with me, don't say a word, let me do all the talking and just look pretty, doll."

His breath was hot against my skin and his grip on my shoulder was more protective than provocative. I looked around me as we walked into the club and took in the sight of the place. It was crowded even though it was barely eleven o'clock. We had to brush past so many hot and sweaty bodies. Many people were dancing; some were just standing around, chatting, drinking and socializing. The music was so loud, I couldn't hear myself think. It was significantly dark inside the club except for an eerie blue light that moved about like a laser, highlighting all the bodies inside as they moved to the music. Instinctively, I found myself clutching at the flimsy material of Zack's fishnet tank top.

He seemed to find this amusing but didn't complain. All he said to me was; "Welcome to the night, baby."

-.-

**A/N: **_Getting the ball rolling. :) Figured it would be interesting to gleam into Zack and Cloud's mysterious life before they met Tifa. As usual, any type of constructive feedback is welcomed. Thanks for reading!_


	7. The Demons You Know

**A/N: **_Thanks for all the comments, guys! Makes me happy to know people are enjoying this crazy thing and sticking with it. :)_

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Six**

**The Demons You Know**

I do not like night clubs. Actually, I do not like night or dark or shadows. With good reason; it brings out evil. Usually, the evil manifests in humans and a night club where follies like drinking and drugs and sexual promiscuity are rampant, evil is drawn like a moth to the flame. So suffice it to say, I was not in my happy place here and if it weren't for Zack's arm around me, I would have been lost and terrified. I don't know why exactly it felt good to have him there. But for some reason, if I was with him, it didn't seem as bad. It was like watching from a distance. He seemed to pick up on this and didn't remove his arm from around me the whole time. He didn't seem to mind my fingers practically scratching his skin through his flimsy shirt, either.

Cloud walked next to him, cool and distant like always but there was something a little different about him this time. For starters, he was far more sociable when required to be. I couldn't keep count of how many people we met that instantly recognized him. What was even stranger was that they would embrace him lovingly and he would, much to my surprise, hug them back and give them a smile. I had never seen Cloud act like this before. I think Zack had to remind me a few times that leaving my mouth open like that would attract the wrong sort of crowd. I didn't really understand it but he found his own comment amusing enough for the both of us. When we reached the bar, both Zack and Cloud ordered up some alcoholic drinks while I stood awkwardly, trying not to have a panic attack.

"I'll take a gin and tonic." Cloud stated, forking over some gil to the bald bartender with the sunglasses.

Wait. Why was he wearing sunglasses at night in a club? I leaned into Zack and asked my question. Zack laughed and said, "Oh, Tifa. You've got quite a bit to learn, don't you?"

I hated how stupid that made me feel. But then I remembered that this was their world and if I was going to be making any sort of progress at all, I had to accept it. They would be the teachers and I, the student. At least while we were in their territory, anyways.

"Hey, Rude. The usual for me and a vodka cranberry for the lady here." Zack stated, smiling at the bartender.

Oh no. No alcohol. No way. I stared at the glass of clear red liquid and ice that Zack forked over to me and backed away.

"I can't drink that." I said.

"Why not?" Zack asked me.

I just shook my head again and refused to take the glass from his hand. Zack sighed and said, "Listen, babe. You gotta try to blend in here. If you don't, you're like a sitting duck with a pack of hungry wolves all around you. Take the drink."

I thought he'd be smiling or laughing like he always was but when I met Zack's eyes, he was absolutely serious. So serious that before I knew what I was doing, the glass was suddenly in my hand. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "You don't have to drink it but at least pretend you are. You should know, not everything is as it seems in the night anyways."

Not everything was as it seemed?

I looked around me again and took it all in. Women dressed so promiscuously, men moving with confidence and dressed like important people. They were all from the slums. All of them were poor and yet tonight, they were not. Tonight, they dressed like celebrities and acted like celebrities. Tonight, it was their time to shine and pretend that for one moment, they did not need to worry about gil. Nonetheless, I stuck close to Zack and once in a while, brought the glass to my lips and pretended to sip. The cool liquid would lap against my lips and I could taste it despite not wanting to. It wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. So every now and then, I allowed myself a tiny sip. Alcohol was harmless in small increments right? Right?

Cloud had already shot down his entire glass in one gulp and was on his second while Zack was yelling for drink number three. Wow. Those two sure knew how to handle their liquor. Or at least, I hoped they did. I didn't think I'd be able to take care of them if they got super drunk. It was after Cloud had downed his second drink that a man with fire red hair approached us. He wore a seductive grin on his handsome face but there was something devious about the way his jade green eyes analyzed his surroundings.

"Hey Cloudy boy, long time no see." He said, his voice slurring enough to prove he was a little intoxicated.

Cloud acknowledged the redhead with a nod of his head and nothing more while Zack grinned from ear to ear when he recognized the man. I took another nervous sip from my glass. The ice had already melted and suddenly, there was a lot more liquid inside.

"Reno, my man!" Zack cried, high fiving his friend.

"Hey hey! Zack Fair. Here to steal all the wealthy and lonely housewives tonight?" Reno asked, quirking up a single red brow.

Zack laughed and threw back his head but his arm was still around me and I was suddenly brought to Reno's attention.

"Or, maybe you're in the mood for something younger tonight, I see." Reno started, leaning in to examine me closely.

I looked away shyly and stared at the floor, letting strands of long hair obscure as much of my face as possible.

Reno laughed and said, "Aw, look at that. She's a shy one. Also, pretty cute. Now what on earth would a girl like her need from a guy like you? I'm sure she could get it anywhere, free of charge with a face and body like that."

For the first time during the whole night, I was grateful for the dark because although scary and evil, it hid my face which must have been burning a bright crimson when Reno made that comment. I heard Cloud choke on his third drink and I felt Zack pull me in closer.

"Who says I'm charging her?" Zack asked, still wearing that trademark smile.

"It isn't like you to give away freebies, Zack. I've known you way too long and not even some of the most beautiful women you've worked with got anything from you free of charge." Reno shot back, staring intently at Zack with his devious little smirk.

Zack stood still for a moment and it was obvious he was trying to think of something to say back. It was also obvious he was having a hard time doing that which meant, there was truth to what Reno was saying about him. I didn't really understand why Zack felt the need to provide me with a cover and why it was so important but I felt nervous nonetheless.

"She's actually part of a secret experiment we're trying out. Kind of like a test run before we implement the real thing." It was Cloud who suddenly spoke up, eyes glassy from the alcohol in his system.

All eyes turned to the blonde and Reno stepped up towards Cloud, hands on his slim hips. Cloud didn't budge or back down or so much as move. Instead, he stood his ground and stared right back.

"Experiment? Like what?" Reno asked.

"Like threesomes. We've been getting some propositions from a select few...clients and we figured we should test the field before jumping in. There's good money to be made there if we can get it right. But if we screw it up, it could backfire. So we figured we should get someone to test it out with and luckily, she's willing to lend a hand." Cloud explained, not slipping up at all.

It was as if he had it all planned. Wait. Did he just say I was part of some threesome? Oh dear Lord in Heaven. I drank some more alcohol and this time, a little more than a sip.

Reno eyed Cloud with suspicion, "I coulda sworn you guys already participated in threesomes. I mean, dudes like you who've been in the industry for this long. A pair of seasoned fellas have usually dabbled in everything and then some."

Cloud shrugged his shoulders, "Sure. I've been in them before. And Zack has, too. But only with partners who were female. He isn't entirely comfortable yet with a male and female so we need to get in the practice. Find our niche. It's not just sex; it's business. You know that, Reno."

Reno backed off at last and said, "Fair enough. You've made your point."

And then he turned to look at me again, his eyes roaming my whole body and it sent shivers down my spine.

"She still don't look like the type to do that sort of thing." He commented.

Zack chimed in this time, "You know what they say; it's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for."

Zack winked as Reno rolled his eyes and made to leave. Oh, thank goodness! But then he paused and looked over at us one last time, his eyes scanning the lot of us and then lingering on me for a moment.

"By the way. The Boss is in the house tonight. Thought you'd like to know. Maybe drop by and say hi. Later." Reno said nonchalantly.

The Boss? Who was the 'Boss'? I looked to Zack and Cloud for some sort of answer. Cloud stood still, rooted to the spot, unmoving and suddenly, very tense. Zack too didn't look comfortable anymore, his smile gone entirely. He then looked to Cloud and it was like a silent exchange between the both.

Zack finally spoke, "Should we leave?"

Cloud shook his head no, "You know we can't. No doubt, Reno will let him know we're here and if we leave without saying hi, well..."

He trailed off and his expression became grim. Uh-oh. This could not be good. That little part at the end of his sentence? Yeah, totally not good. Not good at all. I made to take another sip of my drink only to realize there was nothing left in the glass. Oh my goodness, I drank the whole thing!

"Guys, who is the boss?" I asked, placing the glass aside and trying to think of other things than the alcohol in my system.

It was like they never even heard me. They just started walking away. I scurried after them, shoving past bodies as fast as I could while muttering apologies to the people I brushed aside. Cloud and Zack had made their way to a secluded area of the club; clearly, VIP. There were two large, burly looking men stationed outside and they looked at us with suspicion. But Zack had his charm turned back on and even Cloud seemed to look a bit more cheery.

"Hey big guys, we're here to see the boss man." Zack said, throwing his arm over me again.

The two bouncers exchanged glances and then stared back but didn't move to bar our way in when Zack and Cloud made to enter. Zack leaned in to my ear and, still smiling, whispered, "You wanted to know who the boss is? Now you know. I'm sure you're familiar with the guy."

My eyes must have turned into saucers with how wide they got as soon as I saw the man everyone had been referring to as the 'boss'. They had known I'd recognize him. That was why they hadn't said anything. A deep growing fear inside of me enveloped my entire being and I was instantly rooted to the spot, unblinking. The man who sat in the chair in front of me was the Don. The same man who had raped and almost killed Aerith only a few years ago. I could feel my heartbeat racing, pounding against my ribcage. I was feeling hot and my head was heavy and I thought I was for sure going to faint if Zack wasn't there.

I did not want to meet the Don. I did not want to see him. I couldn't. It was bringing back memories. Terrible, awful memories. Things I had pushed out of my head. Memories I had tried so hard to drown out by changing who I was. I was good. I was good. I was good. It was him, that was bad. And bad needed to be punished. Yeah. I should put him in his place... What he did to her. So much blood. The bruises. Broken bones. She would have died and he didn't care. I should kill him. I should make him feel the same pain. I should...

"Tifa! You can't just stand there like that!" Zack cried, cutting my train of thought.

I blinked and I suddenly felt dizzy. I finally noticed that my hands had balled into tight fists and my nails were digging into the flesh of my palms. I let go and tried to clear my mind. I would not go back there. I chanted it like a mantra and hoped it would work when Zack's hand came to the small of my back and ushered me forward.

"Zack Fair and Cloud Strife. What a pleasant surprise." The Don said while lighting up a cigar and inhaling a puff of smoke.

Up where we were, the music could still be heard but on a much lower scale. The room was also full of women, all dressed and gussied up in questionable clothing that revealed too much and left nothing to the imagination. They sat on the couches alongside the Don's and one girl was even on his lap, stroking the little tuft of golden blonde hair that was on his head. I tried my hardest not to wretch. The Don was a vile, disgusting and horribly unattractive man. Everything about him was repulsive. He was short, grossly overweight and old enough to have fathered the girls in the room. He had beady eyes and no neck and his skin was the colour and texture of aged leather. Just to think that he had his small and grubby fingers all over Aerith was enough to send me over the edge again.

"We were forced to take a little break from our uh...activities." Zack tried explaining to the Don.

The little man let out a chortle and said, "No need to be discreet, Zack. You can speak freely here. You're a whore and a damn good one at that."

I felt Zack bristle next to me and when I looked up at him, I could see a few of his facial muscles twitching. It seemed the word 'whore' wasn't a term he was fond of. But if the Don had taken notice, he didn't let us know. Instead, he motioned for the girl on his lap to bring forth his ashtray where he tapped some of the ends of his cigar inside.

"It was nice seeing you again but we're going to be heading off now." Cloud said, finally breaking the silence.

The Don seemed to look and really acknowledge us now, like he was seeing us for the first time. His eyes stayed on Cloud as he took another puff of his cigar and blew the smoke out into the girl's face.

"Why the hurry, Strife? Don't you have some business to discuss with me?" The Don asked.

Cloud shook his head, "Call it a social call. And last I checked, I run my business and you don't. So, how about we honor the agreement that you stay out of mine and I stay out of yours?"

A smile grew on the Don's ugly face, beneath the thin blonde moustache on his upper lip. Cloud's steely gaze never softened though, despite how intimidating the Don could be. Although his physical attributes were far from scary, it was his status in the slums that had people fearing the little man. No one really knew why. There were rumours, of course. Aerith had sworn the guy was seen associating with the Turks and other 'dirty' Shinra people. But in the slums, it was near impossible to distinguish who was who and Shinra wasn't stupid enough to send their own to a place where they would obviously stand out. So the theory was plausible.

"Such a shame, too. You and I, we could do a lot with this business. You're a phenomenon, Cloud Strife. However, I wasn't going to interfere with your...investments. A promise is a promise. I was just wondering if you'd seen the General. He is in tonight, after all. And rumour has it, he misses his toy." The Don said, the smile on his face growing.

I looked at Cloud and what I saw shocked me. His eyes grew wide and his hands balled into fists at his side and I was certain that if it wasn't for the eerie lighting, he was as pale as a ghost. Cloud was scared. Something the Don said scared him. That was when Zack acted. He moved away from me and grabbed Cloud roughly by the arm before looking at the Don.

He smiled and said, "It's truly been a pleasure but we really need to speed on out of here. Whores have a job to do, you know?"

He spat the word 'whore' out venomously despite his contradicting expression. But just as they made way to leave and I was about to follow, I was pulled back roughly enough to let out a startled cry. Zack and Cloud stopped immediately and turned to look. I tried to break free but it was one of the big bouncers who had caught hold of me and his grip was so tight, I thought I was going to lose my arm. I fought anyways, wriggling and kicking and stomping on his feet but he simply grabbed my other arm and lifted me off the ground so easily so that I could no longer reach or hurt any part of him.

"She's a pretty one. Doesn't seem your type, Fair. Also, it is quite rude of you not to introduce us." The Don said, still puffing on his cigarette as his other hand moved up the girl's smooth thigh and underneath her short dress.

"Put me down!" I cried, still trying to break free to no avail.

I looked to Zack and saw that his smile was gone and that his brows were furrowed. He glanced at me and then back at the Don and there was something sinister that flashed in his eyes now. Cloud stood next to him, a little bit of the fear gone but not enough of it. He was fidgeting and nervous, looking around him every now and then, as if he knew something was coming.

"I think you should put her down. She's mine." Zack stated in a low voice.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say he sounded a little threatening. But the bouncer didn't let me go and the Don only looked entertained. He stood up then to his full height and the girl on his lap fell over with a shriek. He didn't seem to care; he simply stepped over her and made his way towards me. No. No! He couldn't see my face. I wouldn't look at him. I would not look at him.

"Very pretty indeed. Where have you been hiding this little gem, Zack?" the Don asked, his beady eyes roaming my body.

Zack took a step forward, "I said, she's mine. So let her go. Now."

The Don laughed and then took a piece of my hair between his fingers, feeling it.

"Now Zack. We both know she's more my type than yours. Something so young and beautiful...You have a preference for old, rich and crusty. I can help you with that if you give _her _to me." The Don continued, staring at my face while I stared at Zack with a grim expression.

"No thanks. I'll take Tifa back now and then we're leaving." Zack said again, moving closer.

"Tifa? What a pretty name. As unique as her beauty." The Don almost whispered.

He drew in closer and when I still would not look at his stupid face, he grabbed my chin roughly and forced my face towards his.

"Don't touch me, you filthy pig!" I screamed, moving my head so to break free from his grip and trying to get my hands loose to slap him away.

He touched me. His filthy little hands touched me. Those same hands that had hurt Aerith. Those evil little hands. I wanted to cut them off so he couldn't do anything with them ever again. He'd never touch Aerith or me or anyone ever again. There would be bloody stumps there instead and he'd cry and cry and the blood. There would be so much blood. On my hands, like in the nightmares. Like in the memories. Then there would be shadows and demons.

"Oh, feisty! You know I love it when they have a little fight in them." The Don broke my train of thought.

But I was still seeing red. He touched me. This filthy creature. If he let me go, I'd claw his eyes out. I'd rip them out of their sockets for what he did to Aerith. But Zack was behind him now with a switchblade pressed to the Don's throat and he was staring up into the bouncer's eyes with a promised threat. The girls had all run out at the sudden tension in the room, including the one who had fallen. It was only a matter of time before his security was inside, checking up on the scene.

"Let her go or I open your throat." Zack said, pressing the blade deeper into his skin.

The Don looked terrified and squealed like a pig that he was, "L-let her go, let her go, you buffoon! I don't want to die!"

I was dropped instantly and fell to the floor, my legs like jello as I came to realize everything. I stared at the cold concrete and saw the glint of silver at my neck. I clutched at it and felt the cross against my palm. My breathing came in laboured and ragged as I tried to calm down. I was different now. I was different. I was good. I would not hurt anyone. I believed in life and in judgement and that even the worst people would meet God and be punished accordingly. I was good. Aerith was safe. She was safe and far away from this man. There was no need for anger. The shadows that crept along the floor slowly dissipated as I cleared my thoughts, though they had come so close this time.

Before I knew what was happening, Zack was helping me up to my feet. He noticed that I was shaking and not able to stand on my own so, he lifted me into his arms and carried me. I curled up into a little ball against his chest and clutched at him like a child. He was warm and safe.

_ You're safe now. _

I closed my eyes and listened to Elmyra's voice in my head.

_You're safe..._

I could hear the Don panting and the two men who had been stationed outside had come in to check on us but Zack was prepared when he spoke to them, "We were just leaving."

They took one look at me and for some reason, decided not to pester us further. But we weren't able to leave just yet. Cloud stood frozen in his tracks, unmoving and when I looked up, I saw why. In front of him stood a man that would have towered over Zack's own height. He had long, silver-white hair and green eyes, like a cat. Zack tensed up instantly but realized he was helpless with me in his arms. And Cloud...Cloud was suddenly not there. He looked like he wanted to run but the man stood before him, blocking the way with a devious smile playing on his lips as his eyes were only for Cloud. He did not take notice of anyone else, nor did he seem to care.

When he spoke, his voice was deep and menacing as he addressed Cloud, "Going so soon...pet?"

-.-

**A/N: **_Oh look. Another cliffhanger. Woops. I'm starting to delve a little further into the characters' psyche so that you guys can see where they're coming from and why they're so damaged in the story._

_Gave away a lot more in regards to Tifa and you saw a little more of her rage there. I sort of wanted to play on how angry she had been after witnessing her father die in FF7. I know that when she saw Aerith die, her reaction was far more appropriate but in FF7, she was also a lot more normal and her relationship with Aerith is vastly different. In this, keep in mind Aerith is pretty much like family to Tifa. Maybe that'll help explain her reaction :). I'd explain it further but I can't do that without giving away too much. Hopefully, the more it goes on, the more things will get cleared up and I can justify truly why Tifa acts the way she does and why it's so OOC. _

_Thanks for reading and as usual, all comments are welcomed! :)_


	8. Promise to Keep

**A/N: **_The feedback coming in is great. As usual, I would like to thank all the loyal readers and the new ones on board for this crazy thing I came up with. Means a lot. :)_

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Seven**

**Promise to Keep**

_ Hey._

_ It's been a while, hasn't it?_

_ I guess I'm to blame._

_ I should be checking in a bit more frequently. Especially after the recent events._

_ I don't really understand it, this plan you've got for me. But I'll go along with it. I know you're there. You have my back. You won't let me down, will you? I mean, that last time was awfully close. Really, really close. I'm still shaking. My fingers won't stop trembling. I don't even know where Cloud is. It's like all the progress we made has disappeared. For every step we took forward, he's taken three back. I know he doesn't really believe in you and he's had a hard life but...don't abandon him. Please. I'm praying for him. He's a good guy, despite all the sins. He's just lost, you know? It's obvious he's hurting. And if you can forgive everything I've done, then he should be a piece of cake. _

_ Oh, and Zack. I think you're already watching out for him, aren't you? He's awfully brave and strong. There's a sense of justice to him. He almost got himself killed to protect Cloud and I._

_ I can tell, he's one of yours. He just doesn't really know it yet. _

_ Thanks. _

_ For getting him to me. I think it's your idea of a guardian angel. Even if he is a male prostitute, I'm still grateful for his presence. _

_ Even if maybe he's supposed to be protecting Cloud. It's nice to feel safe. Zack makes me feel safe._

_ Still, I can't help it. I don't know what to do with myself. _

_ I mean, I should find Cloud._

_ I need to speak to him, get to the root of things._

_ I need to be gentle and understanding. This thing with him and Sephiroth doesn't seem like a matter to take lightly._

_ But how can I do that? How can I fight Cloud's demons if I can't even fight my own? I know you don't like me taking those pills but I've needed them lately. Can't sleep without them. Elmyra worries but I can't tell her. I don't think she could handle it, after everything that happened to Aerith. Is it a sin to lie by omission? _

_ I'm having a hard time figuring out that one._

_ I guess I've eaten up enough of your time. You've probably got starving orphans in third world countries to worry about. I should let you get back to that. _

_ Just, you know, if you have the time...help? Anything. Anything at all. _

_ Amen._

Aerith is sitting next to me on the pew. I already knew she was there. I had heard her take the seat while I had been in the middle of prayer. She's always been polite; quiet until I finished. I made the sign of the cross and got off of my knees. My eyes opened and lingered on the large wooden cross hanging from the ceiling above the altar. I really just wanted to avoid running into anyone. Most especially, Aerith.

Things have been anything but normal after the night at the club. Everyone is uneasy. Cloud has been a shadow in the church, if he's in the church at all. He doesn't show up for meals. It's obvious it's got Zack worried. He barely speaks at the table, always eyeing the door and waiting for his friend to make some triumphant return. He steals a plate of food every time and leaves it on Cloud's bed. The good news is it disappears after a few hours. So we know he's around and it comforts Zack. But not by much.

I don't make much eye contact and nibble at the food on my plate. Zack's noticed the way my hands still shake. He stares at them and seems lost in thought. He remembers. He knows what I did. I can see the question in his expression, but he won't ask it. He knows I won't answer.

Elmyra is stressed because I won't tell her what it is that happened. I haven't done any actual work in days. I usually take the pills and knock myself out for hours, a dreamless sleep. It doesn't matter much. I'm still tired. I still can't erase it.

The Don is a little disgusting man. I hate him with every fibre of my being. Years and years I've spent praying for justice to be served to him. I'm not quite sure what good it's done. He still seems as happy and fat as he was all that time ago. He would have kept us there, raped me in front of Zack and Cloud. He would have chased us if he could have. Chased and chased until he had gotten his way. Especially after I had angered him. It made him want me more. Aerith had told me that. He liked the ones who fought back.

But the General...

Sephiroth...

He was different.

He was terrifying.

He...let us go.

Stepped aside and motioned towards the door, his eyes always on Cloud.

He didn't speak but Zack made to move past him, his eyes trained on the silver haired warrior. Cloud stood still, rooted right where he was. He had been staring at a spot on the floor, shaking. There was no fight in him. No colour to his skin. Zack cried out for him to get moving, "Cloud! Let's go."

Cloud had jerked his head at the sound of his name and met Zack's eyes this time. They stared at one another and I thought I had heard Cloud whimper.

"Keep your eyes on me. And let's move," Zack instructed, calm and assertive.

Safe.

I had clutched at Zack's shirt again and whispered the word over and over.

Safe. Safe. Safe.

Cloud had stumbled past the General, not looking at him. Zack waited for him, standing before Sephiroth. He would be the buffer. He would take the hit for Cloud if need be. Anything to help him. We all had thought he'd have done something, the silver haired warrior. He'd have interfered when we least expected it.

But he stood still. Smiling. The entire time, just smiling.

"Y-you can't just let them leave!" The Don had cried, still clutching at his neck as if there was still a blade pressed against the skin.

But as the Don's men made to move, Sephiroth unsheathed his infamous blade, Masamune, and pointed it straight at them, causing them to stumble backwards. His eyes stayed on Cloud even when he spoke.

"They go," He said.

The Don sputtered but didn't press on.

With that, Zack allowed Cloud to get to the door first and then followed, with me still in his arms, pressed up against his chest. Sephiroth didn't move. Nobody did. But before we left, there were some words still needed saying.

"Besides," He had started, sheathing his sword, "All my pets return to me...willingly. I promise you that. I will have you, Cloud. But you will come to me."

Chills ran down my spine, even now as I remembered the lingering threat. Even memories had power. Suffice it to say, Cloud hadn't been the same since. Getting him back to the Church was a mission. It seemed he was in a daze. He didn't look at either of us. He didn't talk. He barely moved unless it was necessary. My hands became fists at my sides. I should go to him. I should comfort him. Tears burned behind my eyes. This was my purpose, wasn't it? This was how I atoned. But I felt weak and helpless.

Aerith's hand was on my hand and then her fingers tangled with mine, uncurling the fist. When I looked into her empty, pale green eyes, she was smiling at me.

"I was wrong to leave you alone, wasn't I?" She asked.

I shook my head, "No. You were right. This is mine to fix. I can't have help. Not now."

Aerith never let go of my hand. She looked at me in that way where it almost felt like she could see me, whole and all.

"How about some guidance?" She asked me, cocking her head to the side, her long braid following her.

It scared me how she could read me so well. I hadn't told her. I hadn't told anyone about that night. I didn't want them to worry. I didn't want Elmyra to fret or worse, have her faith broken all over again. Too bad my plan was backfiring. Elmyra was especially worried because I wouldn't tell her and now Aerith was sent to intervene. She could pick up on tension like it was a sixth sense.

"He has some ghosts. So do you. Instead of running and hiding from them, you should bring them together," Aerith explained.

I quirked up an eyebrow, not really understanding her. She had this odd habit of speaking in riddles ever since we were young. She liked being the older, wiser one. Said it came with the territory of being blind. All blind men were wise and mysterious in the stories. Aerith had no trouble fitting into that role. I found it extremely annoying because more often than not, I'd miss her point entirely. Like now.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. She let go of my hand and turned around. I followed her. She walked to the altar, her braid moving with her. She reached her little basket of fresh flowers, white and yellow lilies from the church, and took them out. She arranged them lovingly in her arms. She looked to me then. I held her arm and helped guide her up the little steps to the stage. I walked her over to the vases that were empty of flowers. She crouched down and placed the lilies inside, fixing up their leaves and petals.

"You want to heal Cloud? To help him?" She asked me as her fingers worked.

"Of course," I replied.

"So what's stopping you?" She asked.

"I...How can I help him if I can't help myself?" I asked her back, staring at the carpeted floor and hugging myself.

"This wasn't an issue before. Why now? What happened, Tifa?" There it was: the question on everyone's mind.

What happened.

I met her question with silence.

She sighed and said, "I figured you wouldn't tell me."

More silence from me.

She stood up and walked over to the next vase, feeling around for it with her hands. She crouched down and did the same with the lilies like she had done before.

"Whatever it is that happened, it seems to be bothering all three of you. And even mother. If it's something about their pasts and you want them to share their pain, then you have to share yours. Talk to Cloud. Tell him about what hurts you. He needs to know he can trust you. And then, he'll come to you when he's ready," Aerith explained.

She made it sound so simple. Sharing my past was never simple. I barely liked to recall it myself. How could I open up to Cloud about it? It made sense though. It was only fair I told him something if he was to tell me anything about what Sephiroth had done to him. Aerith's little riddle was suddenly clear. I stood there, thinking. What would I tell him? How would I say it? Where would I even find him?

Aerith stood up and brushed at her dress. She then turned and walked past me.

"My church is a nice and quiet place. It's also pretty relaxing. Just a thought." Aerith smiled, took out her metal rod, clicked the button so it would expand and made her way down the steps of the altar.

-.-

I found him there.

I was still a little scared of venturing any place outside the church by myself but I had gathered my bearings and told myself I had to do this. I had to be strong. I said a quick prayer and felt a little better about myself. There was light and where there was light, there were no demons. I convinced myself I was ready for it while I stood outside the great, run down doors of the church. I wanted to come up with a plan, some sort of structure. But I remembered that with Cloud, structure didn't pan out very well. I was better off, as Aerith put it, 'winging it'.

That being said, I didn't like being entirely unprepared so I had figured out what I would tell him. Which ghosts I would introduce him to. All I had to do was go inside. One deep breath and I gently opened a single creaky door. The church was its usual piece of ethereal beauty despite all the damage. Despite the memories. The good always did outweigh the bad.

I looked around and it didn't take me long to see him. He sat next to the patch of wild lilies sprouting from the broken ground. They reached out to the sunlight pouring in from the open roof. He turned his head to look at the intruder and, upon noticing me, looked away. Great start, Tifa. Great start. My palms were sweaty and my footsteps felt mechanical. Jelly, that's what my limbs felt like. I wiped the sweat of my hands on my pants, trying to calm my nerves.

When I reached him, I sat down beside him, tucking my legs underneath me and admiring the flowers as he was. I saw a ragged blanket thrown aside as well as a few empty plates. He was staying at the burned church. I couldn't, for my life, understand why. But that wasn't really why I was here. I brushed a loose strand of dark brown hair behind my ear. I had let it down, flowing long and straight and a bit past my waist. Aerith said I needed to look free. No tight buns or ponytails. She always did love my hair. Zack had smiled and said I looked pretty with it down. I blushed of course but his compliment still felt forced. He was just worried. It was tainting him in every way.

I sat in silence for a bit, trying to figure where to start. I fiddled with the leaves of the flowers and then I turned to look at Cloud. There wasn't any fear or sadness. There was just nothing. His face was a blank canvas. He had bags under his eyes. He wasn't sleeping very well.

Oh, God, help me.

How do I start?

What do I say?

Good morning?

No. No, that won't do.

Maybe I should just delve into it. Maybe I should just start talking, like I was talking to Aerith. Like, it was her I was telling the story to. That sounded like a good idea. So I stared up ahead, into the light pouring in and pretended she was there instead of Cloud.

"You know, it isn't as if I like it when they bully me. Truthfully, I hate it. It's mean and I don't deserve any of it. Just once, just once I'd like to get my hands around Scarlett's neck. I can't tell you how many times I've envisioned it. It's quite funny."

Aerith smiled and her eyes told me to go on. I almost cracked up as I was talking.

"I mean, me? Choke someone? Even if I tried it, her friends would be all on me like white on rice. Still, it's satisfying. You know, there was a time when I'd get into actual scraps. Back when I was younger. I tolerated being picked on in school. But it was when they started pulling mean pranks on the blind girl...now that, that was just cruel."

"I beat them all up. I tackled a kid three years older than me to the ground and just started pounding into his face while he screamed for his mom. It happened in the sandbox. All I could see was red. You didn't mess with my family. I didn't really have much to begin with, but to trip a blind girl and steal her books, scattering them all around the playground while she tried to find them, mocking her..."

It made me angry thinking about it all over again. The way they tormented her. Aerith looked sad now. She wouldn't meet my eyes. She didn't like it either when they picked on her, but standing up for her always got me into some serious trouble and it made her feel worse.

"I kicked their ass," I laughed.

"And you should have seen me back then. I was this tiny, stick of a thing. And I beat them all up. Safe to say they never bothered me or anyone I cared about ever again."

Aerith's face disappeared and I remembered I'm talking to Cloud. I turned and saw him watching me with thoughtful eyes. There's a hint of emotion there now. He doesn't say anything but he lets me know he's listening.

I stared right at him as I continued, "They punished me. Whipped me so hard, they created scars. Aerith tended to the wounds every night. I just remember the sting where her tears fell this one time, when she'd had enough. She made me swear. She made me promise. I'd never do it again. Never be violent. No more anger. No more revenge. She made me swear to her I would turn my cheek and take it. That if I loved her truly, I would do it. Because she asked."

My eyes were downcast and I fiddled with something on the ground, "That's why. That's why I take it. I don't let it get to me. I find ways of dancing around their insults. Telling myself any reason so that I won't give in. Even lie to myself. I promised her, after all. And no one, not even Scarlett and her gang, will make me break that."

There.

I did it.

He wanted to know.

Now he knew.

I didn't really know what to say anymore. I was afraid if there was any more, there would have been tears and God, I didn't want waterworks. Remember the part where I'm supposed to be strong? Yeah. No waterworks.

For a moment, there's nothing. I feel silly, expecting anything. I mean, what was he supposed to do? Hug me? Kiss me and tell me everything was okay? I want to laugh at this. It all seems so dumb now. Opening old wounds, bringing up old skeletons. What was the point? He wasn't going to tell me about his most traumatizing moment in life just because I brought up bullying.

"The bully becomes the bullied." I look up and see he's moved so that his face is hovering over mine.

I stare up into his eyes, so blue. He's still so hard to read but his fingers hold onto my chin and he forces me not to look away. His other hand brushes aside my bangs and I don't know how to react.

"I like your hair down."

Then, his mouth is on mine.

-.-

_He was nervous. He was afraid. He didn't know who to turn to. She was far too fragile. Cloud already knew. It was why he was hiding. But he couldn't tell Tifa. She wouldn't be able to handle it. Not while everyone was still recuperating. He lingered outside the door, pacing back and forth. He ran a hand through jet black hair, ruffling it. He kept thinking. What could he do? What should he do? Was it right? Was it wrong?_

_ She showed up then. The eerie girl with the emerald eyes. She walked past him, not looking. She smelled like fresh lilies. _

_ "You've waited a while to come to me. I was expecting you a little sooner, Zack," She said, unlocking her office door. _

_ He stared after her and she left the door ajar, knowing he would follow. She stepped inside and set her stuff onto her table. She turned then and looked at him. He walked in and averted his gaze, feeling too uncomfortable looking directly into her eyes._

_ "I...uh, hey Aerith," He said, not knowing what else to say._

_ She smiled and leaned against the desk, folding her arms over her chest._

_ "Something on your mind, Zack?" She asked._

_ His eyes darted about the room nervously and he scratched at the back of his head. _

_ He then turned and shut the door behind him, locking it. She didn't flinch. He started pacing again._

_ "Yeah...A lot of things, actually," He started._

_ "Tifa will take care of Cloud. And when she brings him back, you can help him, too." _

_ Zack shook his head, "Not...not that. I mean, there is that but...there's something else." _

_ For once, Aerith looked confused. It seemed she hadn't even seen this one coming. She stood up straight and looked at Zack intently._

_ He stopped pacing and walked towards her, his hands finding her small shoulders, gripping them tight._

_ "Trouble. Lots of trouble. Tifa and Cloud. You. Everyone. Something big is gonna hit. He won't let Cloud go that easily. He won't. Years, he's run from him. It's why we're here. Hiding. And the Don. You know the Don. He's going to come after Tifa. And then you. He won't let you go either. He'll burn this Church down if he has to."_

_ Zack let go and smacked the wall with his fist, "Damn it all to hell! Damn it! None of this was supposed to happen! Should have known better. I should have...I shouldn't have taken her with us...What the hell was I thinking?! This is a fucking mess, Aerith. A fucking giant mess..." _

_She came up behind him and touched his back with gentle fingers. They lingered there._

_ "Tifa can take care of herself...She's stronger than you give her credit for," Aerith explained._

_ Zack shook his head, "No. Not this. I saw her back there, she can't. No matter what it is she's dealt with in the past, this is new. This is different. Dangerous. Worse." _

_ Aerith shook her head, "This isn't new. And it isn't different. History repeating itself. Old demons finding their way back into our life. Into hers."_

_ Zack turned and looked at Aerith and saw the worry, the conern, the fear. Her eyes seemed glassy and she hugged herself. Vulnerable. She was vulnerable all over again. He had scared her, shaken her. He felt bad. But he had to tell her. He had to tell someone. If he couldn't tell Tifa, then it had to be Aerith. She seemed so strong, so aloof all the time. He should have known better. He should have known this could have hurt her. Rape always did have a funny way of never going away. It was easily masked, but it was always there. _

_ He took a step towards her, unsure of what to do._

_ She looked up into his face and chewed her bottom lip._

_ "I should...I should tell you...how we met. When I first saw Tifa...The situation she was in when we found her." _

_ Zack stayed silent, not knowing why Aerith was suddenly telling him this. It didn't matter. Right now, things were bad. _

_ "Look, I appreciate you wanting to tell me that, but that isn-"Zack was cut off by Aerith's desperate and shaky voice._

_ "Murder...She was wanted for murder..."_

-.-

**A/N: **_The plot is finally thickening. A few crucial points about Tifa's past are brought up. Relationships are changing. Things will get heavy. Most likely will change the rating pretty soon. Anyways, thoughts and opinions, as always, are welcomed. Hope you enjoyed. Until next time!_


	9. Monsters in the Closet

**A/N: **_Wow. So many great reviews. Real happy hearing all the feedback from you guys. :) I've been tempted to do a rewrite of the first few chapters but I'd like to finish the story first. Now that we're finally getting places, I think I can stand to wait a bit more. Thanks to all the silent readers as well. Here's another update!_

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Eight**

**Monsters in the Closet**

I don't like kissing. I think it's weird. And maybe a little gross. I mean, do people have any idea how many germs live inside their mouths? It's probably one of the filthiest places of the human body and folk just go around spreading it because it feels good. Well, not me. I never kissed. I mean, it's not like no one ever wanted to kiss me. There have been opportunities, plenty of them. Of course, I usually never see it coming. It's this odd moment of staring and then their eyes wander to my mouth and suddenly they're a lot closer than they were before. It's all in slow motion and the entire time, I'm backing up. There is nothing enticing about someone else's mouth. Before I realize it, they're an inch away and I have my head turned. Their lips meet my cheek and it's suddenly super awkward. I just want to erase it from my memory, pretend it never even happened. It's embarrassing. I feel terrible, too. I guess I should like it. I should want it. I mean, Aerith was always being kissed. When I asked her what she liked about it, she just gave me another one of her annoying riddles and laughed at me. It was something about feelings and growing up. I'm sure if I remembered it now, I'd understand her.

I say that because this time, I didn't dodge it. This time, I was kissed and for the life of me, I can't erase it and it terrifies me that maybe I don't want to. My fingers are like a feather on my lips when I touch them and recall the way Cloud's mouth felt against mine. Just as soft and delicate. He didn't push; there wasn't any disgusting surprise of his tongue. It was just his lips, warm and dry and unmoving. It felt like the sun against my skin on a lazy summer day. Except maybe even better than that.

No.

No, no. I can't start thinking that way. I should not have kissed him. I should not have let him kiss me. I should have moved away. It was wrong, terribly wrong. I was supposed to be helping him. I was most certainly not supposed to encourage any sort of romantic feelings. That was a big no-no. But God help me, I liked it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. I wondered if he had liked it. Cloud was a male prostitute, which meant he'd kissed many people before. I doubt I was anything special. As a matter of fact, I don't think it meant anything at all to him. Maybe he was just sad and lonely and I was available. Maybe he needed the comfort because it was what he was used to.

Ugh.

I'm terrible at trying to figure him out.

Either way, it's been hard making eye contact with him after that entire fiasco. Every time I see him, all I can think about is that stupid kiss and what it meant and if it's what he's thinking about and oh God. Then I get all flustered and embarrassed like some high school girl with a crush except, I don't have a crush. I'm just really bad when it comes to things like this. My natural reaction is embarrassment. My face gets all red, I trip on my words, and I twiddle my hair with twitchy fingers, just to name a few reactions. Aerith noted the change in my voice at breakfast and practically cornered me in my office about it.

"Tifa, is there something going on with you and Cloud?" She was always straight to the point.

I nearly sputtered out the tea I had been drinking.

"NO!" I cried in a pitch way too high to be normal.

She stared at me and I cleared my throat, "No," I said more calmly.

I'm no moron. Aerith doesn't believe me for a second. Sort of comes with the 'I've-lived-with-you-since-you-played-with-barbies' territory. Yeah, it sucks. You can't lie to Aerith, even though she's blind. That theory about how every other sense heightens? Aerith is living proof of it. So, I preoccupied myself with endless paperwork in an effort to ignore it. Maybe it'll go away.

"Well then," She started, "If you're going to be keeping secrets, then so will I."

Why must she always win?

"Aerith, wait," I stated before she stepped out of my office.

She waited.

I sighed deeply and turned to look at her.

"The Midgar Zoo." I said.

She looked at me like I was off my rocker. And maybe I was.

I twirled a piece of my hair and looked everywhere but at her, "I was thinking a trip to the zoo. The weather's supposed to be good tomorrow and I think we could...all use the time away."

Aerith folded her arms over her chest and said, "Tifa, you are not dodging this question. Not this time."

I shook my head frantically before saying, "I'm not! I swear. I just...I need to gather my bearings. We can talk tomorrow...at the zoo. While the boys are distracted. It'll be just like old times."

I smiled at her but Aerith was all business this time around.

"No secrets?" She asked me.

"No secrets, promise." I replied.

I have no idea where that even came from. The Zoo. I mean, I was sure Zack would enjoy it, but Cloud? Well, he was just too unpredictable. However, I loved going to the zoo. So did Aerith. We shared quite a few childhood memories there. All of them were good so I guess that's why I liked going back there. Unlike the burned church.

Also, I figured it would be a good way to help mend whatever was broken with Zack and Cloud after that night with Don Corneo and Sephiroth. Zack hadn't gone anywhere ever since then, not even on his days off. Cloud still ventured to the church from time to time but at least he wasn't being a total shadow anymore. After the uh...kissing thing, I sort of ran out on him, mumbling some incoherent excuse about needing to get back. I didn't think he was going to follow me to St. Joseph's. I figured he'd still stay at the run down church. But when I left my office to grab some dinner, he was sitting next to Zack, eating and talking like everything was back to normal.

I still didn't have a clue as to what happened between the General and Cloud and part of me was happy with the ignorance of it. Zack seemed to know just enough but I wasn't going to badger anyone into telling me. It seemed like a scary story to tell, anyways. I had enough nightmares, thank you.

I figured I needed to let both Zack and Cloud know about the trip but I was still feeling hesitant. I didn't exactly want to confront Cloud all alone. There was that really uncomfortable drop in my stomach when I even thought about it. Like, I was suddenly nauseous and dizzy and unfamiliar with my surroundings. So, I made a compromise: tell Zack and ask Zack to pass it along to Cloud. Yeah, that sounded like a perfect plan.

I don't plan on avoiding Cloud forever...Obviously, I would have to see him at the zoo. I just needed some more time to maybe relax my nerves, get my head on straight and try to forget about that whole kiss scenario. Then I could probably get back to doing my actual job and stop this dawdling. While I was in my room, trying to prepare myself for the possibility of running into Cloud, Zack came in. I was shocked to see him but relieved nonetheless. My mission just got a whole lot easier.

"Zack! Perfect timing! I've got something I need to talk to you about."

I went about my room, organizing the clothes that were hastily thrown about when I had changed. I didn't really pay attention to Zack's still-standing form by my bed.

"Oh?" He asked, finally deciding to take a seat on the mattress and watch me work.

When I was done, I turned to look at him and noticed a difference. I thought that, with Cloud back, all that life and energy would return but Zack was still not...himself. His shoulders slumped and I could tell that he was trying hard to maintain a feel good attitude. That gave him away; Zack never needed to try. He was always just naturally in good spirits. When he was trying, that was when I knew things were off. I sat down next to him and brushed my hair behind my ear. The annoyance of keeping it down is that it always gets in my way.

"But it looks like you're the one who's got something on your mind," I say, trying to make eye contact.

He stared at the floor and took in a deep breath. Then, he turned to me and smiled, "Nah, you go first."

I was skeptical but I figured pushing him wasn't going to get me anywhere, either. Zack was better than Cloud when it came to speaking his mind. He couldn't tolerate things eating away at him. Eventually, he came clean about what he was feeling. It helped him heal. Cloud was a totally different story.

"Okay well. I thought up of a good trip idea. You mentioned going to the zoo and I thought, hey. Why not? Who doesn't like the zoo? You can be a kid all over again and have fun with people you care about, even make new friends. I think it will be good for both you and Cloud. Actually, Aerith was even thinking of bringing some of the others, too," I explained, smiling.

It made me happy to know that maybe I was finally getting on the right track with everyone. I was finally, you know, doing my actual job instead of making a mess of things. I sort of expected Zack to make fun of me. Or tease me. Or say something silly or perverted. I didn't get any of that from him.

"That sounds great, Tifa. I'll let Cloud know," He said, looking at me with a forced smile.

"Uh...yeah. Thanks." I replied, not really knowing where else to take the conversation.

We sat there, silent for a little bit. I didn't know what to say and I didn't exactly want to get up because I didn't think I should. I was waiting for him to make the next move but Zack just sat there, looking at the floor. Did I forget to vacuum or something?

Just when I was not able to take any more, his hand found mine. I had been clutching at the edge of the bed, ready to stand up when he moved his over mine. I probably should have been a little panicked but all I could think about was how much bigger his hand was compared to my hand. How silly.

He had managed to get my attention and I found that he was staring at me now, something different in the way he looked at me.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

This was not going to happen again.

Remember that thing I mentioned with staring into the eyes and then the mouth and suddenly, bam! Cheek? Yeah. It was totally happening. I felt it. I wasn't going to let it, though. Not this time. I closed my eyes real tight and turned away, pursing my lips so that he couldn't get to them. One step ahead, Tifa. One giant step ahead!

Except I seemed to have forgotten that part where Zack isn't shy or stupid or slow. And also, not in college. He grabbed me by the jaw and forced me to look in his direction. I opened a single eye and found him looking at me curiously.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

I fell silent. What the heck was I doing? Why did I think Zack was going to kiss me? I think that kiss with Cloud totally got to my head. Now I think every attractive male prostitute is going to want to kiss me. Perfect.

When I didn't answer and my eyes darted around nervously, Zack's fingers squeezed my cheeks so that I looked like I was making a fish face. I slapped his hand away and he laughed at me.

"Weren't you going to go tell Cloud something?" I say it bitterly, feeling heated and embarrassed and just wanting him out of the room before I made more of a fool of myself.

"Did you...did you think I was going to _kiss_ you?" Zack was practically rolling on the floor in laughter.

I felt my face get so hot. It was like my head was going to explode. I think I can officially sympathize with hot air balloons. That is, if they had feelings. I refused to look at Zack while he laughed at me. I just got up and started manhandling him out of my room. I just pushed at his body while he snorted and giggled and had tears in his eyes. I was absolutely mortified and the sooner he was gone, the sooner I could forget it. Part of me was glad to see some of the normal Zack make a return but most of me just wanted it over with.

In between fits of giggles, Zack said, "Honey, at least buy me dinner first!"

"OUT!" I shouted, still trying to push him.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop, promise," Zack wheezed, his laughter finally slowing down.

I stood there, arms folded over my chest and glared at him.

"Go tell Cloud about the zoo," I stated.

I turned on my heel then and tried to think of other things to do. Anything to get my mind off of the mess I was in.

"Aw, Teef. Don't be that way. I was just kidding around," Zack pleaded.

I decided I was giving him the silent treatment.

"Are you mad at me? I can kiss you if you want. Free of charge."

Nope.

I would not say anything.

He came up behind me and his hands were on my shoulders, moving down my arms.

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

I wanted to say something mean but that would have defeated the purpose of the silent treatment.

He nuzzled my neck and his arms wrapped around me and I couldn't move and I was suddenly panicking.

Oh, dear Lord in heaven!

"Still mad at me?" He whispered in my ear, hot breath tickling my skin.

I wanted to fight him off but everything was like jelly. I just stared out my window, wide eyed and terrified. Zack was bipolar. He had to be. How could someone change moods so quickly? From sad to happy to horny. It couldn't be normal.

"You're not going to kill me or anything, are you?"

There was something strange with his voice when he asked me that.

"Are you really dangerous? Someone as fragile and beautiful as you?"

He grazed my ear with his teeth and I inhaled sharply.

"Are you really capable of...murder?"

The shadows came back. They stretched across my floor, their hands like claws, reaching out for me. The room shook, in and out of focus. The walls changed. There was blood on them and it's almost like I was somewhere else. They promised, promised they'd come back for me. Nowhere is safe. Can't hide from any of them. They'd find me. They promised they would. They've kept it. They're moving so fast, getting so close. They'd drag me away.

Terrible things.

I've done bad things.

Things they would punish me for. Take me to hell. My soul was damned and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.

But I was just a child. I didn't know any better. I didn't know. Oh, God I didn't know.

I just wanted him to stop.

He was hurting her. He hurt her so bad. I couldn't let him keep doing it. I couldn't take the screaming. The blood. The bruises. I had to make it stop.

So I made it stop.

I made _him_...stop.

-.-

I woke up in his arms. He had me cradled there like a child. He brushed my hair gently and when I came to, I almost jolted. But my body felt like it had taken a beating and I could barely move.

"You passed out," He whispered.

I sat up on wobbly arms and looked about my room, my skin covered in a cold sweat. Light poured in from my window and I looked for any signs of shadows. Nothing out of the ordinary. But my heart was still beating so quickly, so erratically. My eyes bounced around the room and my lip quivered. It took me a moment to realize that I was shaking. He pulled me back into his arms, and my head rested on his chest where I could feel the gentle rise and fall of his breathing. He's got me tucked there, safe. I stared at my hands, fingers twitching. I thought I could see the blood still there, caked and dried beneath my fingernails. Elmyra had tried scrubbing until they were pink but the blood remained, stubborn. It was gone now. But the memory wasn't.

"You two are so alike, you know," He whispered against my head, his breath playing with my hair.

I couldn't tell who he was referring to. Cloud or Aerith? I'm nothing like Aerith. I wished I was. She was a lot stronger than me. As for Cloud, we're pretty different, too. He's all cold and ruthless and I'm...

No better, actually.

Maybe Zack was right; we were more similar than we realized.

I shifted in his arms but he didn't let go. He's got his arms wrapped around me, on my back. He squeezed and I didn't complain. I was starting to understand. That need for physical contact after something so terrifying. As humans, we seek out something familiar and we cling to it. For Cloud, it was a kiss. For me, it was Zack's embrace. It varied but in the end, it was the same. It was why sleeping with Aerith kept the nightmares away, too. I decided I wouldn't do with the pills anymore. I would listen to sister Elmyra and try it her way.

When I was finally recovered enough, I moved away from Zack and sat on my legs. I couldn't really look at him. He had just seen it all. He knew there was something evil here. He knew there was something wrong with me. Something deeply wrong. He probably thought I was weird. He was probably wondering why I was the way I was and why I didn't seek out help. I just couldn't look at him with all those questions in the air. I didn't know how to answer any of them. I never did.

"Tifa," He called my name, soft and sweet.

I didn't want his pity. Pity didn't do anything for me.

I met his eyes and saw that he wasn't judging me. Aerith had given me the same look when she had found me. It was like when Elmyra had given me a bath in a tub full of water and the pink tinge of blood. Only, she didn't let on that she noticed the blood. It was just another bath for another orphan girl that had wandered into her church. Zack looked at me like he always did. I was still Tifa to him. The girl with the frilly pink underwear that he liked to poke fun at, that was me. I kept telling myself that, anyways.

"I'm sorry," He whispered.

There were a number of things he could have been apologizing for. Was he sorry that he had poked fun at a sensitive topic? Was he sorry for making me remember? Or was he feeling sorry for me? I didn't really know and it didn't really matter.

When the night came, I found myself at Aerith's door and she let me in without a question. No words were needed; I clambered into her bed and she didn't ask why. I snuggled my head into her back and she brought my arm to rest over her hip. She held it there and I fell asleep to the scent of lilies and the burned church.

-.-

_ She was angry when she saw him. He had never seen her like that. He didn't think she was capable of the emotion. But sure enough, she marched up to him and, despite her lack of vision, she slapped him. His cheek burned from the impact._

_ "How dare you?!" She spat at him._

_ "I told you that in confidence! How dare you bring it up to her?!"_

_ "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking..."_

_ "Of course you weren't! I told you the affect it has on her. I told you, Zack!" _

_ "It won't happen again, I promise. Curiosity got the better of me. I just...can't see her like that. She's so delicate, like porcelain. One hit and she cracks."_

_ "You don't know her like I do. I should never have told you. I don't even know why I did."_

_ "Because you're tired of being the only one who has to know! The only one carrying the burden! Come on, Aerith. You know why you told me. You don't want to be the only one protecting her and her secrets." _

_ "I'm not the one doing the protecting. That's always been her..." She hugged herself._

_ "You're afraid that if the wrong people find out, you're going to lose her forever. You've kept this hidden for years. Kept __**her**__ hidden. It's why they burned down the old church. They were looking for her."_

_ Tears burned jade green eyes when she whispered, "She was just a girl. It wasn't her fault. What would they do to a little girl? Why apprehend a child? They killed so many just to get to her. She has to sleep with that always on her conscience. Like she needs that added weight, that guilt..."_

_ "It's okay to be scared," He stepped closer, wanting to comfort her and not knowing how._

_ "Easy for you to say. If the Don and Sephiroth come here, you and Cloud take off and find somewhere new. But what happens to us? How many places are they going to burn? How many more people have to die?" _

_ "They won't find us. They won't come here. The last place the Don expects us to be is in a church. He won't come looking." _

_ The look on her face said she didn't really believe him. She wanted to, desperately. The optimist in her wanted to believe they were safe for another day. But her gut feeling was telling her otherwise. He stepped closer to her, hands resting on her small shoulders before speaking sincerely._

_ "And I'm not going anywhere."_

-.-

"The Midgar Zoo?" Cloud was standing at the entrance to my room, body resting against the door frame.

I noticed that he still wasn't dressed. The zoo was a morning thing and he was still wearing the same clothes he slept in. Not a good start. I was avoiding his face all I could because I was worried that I'd start acting like some little girl again if I did.

I nodded once, "Yes. The zoo. Now go get dressed. It'll be fun and you will have fun. Try chanting that like a mantra and maybe you'll lighten up a little."

Oh wow. Maybe that was a little harsh. I guess I just wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little cranky and the events from the other day didn't just magically go away. There weren't any nightmares but I was wary of any shadows. Paranoia. Isn't it attractive?

"You're serious, aren't you?" Cloud asked me, a single brow quirked in question.

I nodded again, "Dead serious. Now go change or we'll be keeping everyone else waiting and I won't shy away from throwing you under the bus."

Just as he was going to come up with a smart retort, Zack showed up and wrapped his arm around Cloud's head amiably, grinning like a fool the entire time. He wore a plain, solid navy blue shirt underneath a black leather jacket and a pair of faded and ripped jeans. He was even wearing a cap. All ready to go. It was nice to see some excitement about the trip.

"Hey pal!" He cried while Cloud struggled to get away from him.

"Why aren't you dressed yet? Are you giving Tifa a hard time? Am I gonna have to give you a noogie?" Zack teased.

"Zack, if you don't let go of me right now, you will be in for some serious hurt," Cloud threatened, his voice low and menacing.

I gulped when I saw Zack, wondering if things were going to be awkward with him now after the previous night's events. But he just winked at me and grinned like everything was exactly the same way he'd left it.

"Oooh, Cloudy boy is making threats now. I'm so scared, I just peed a little."

Having had enough, Cloud elbowed Zack in the ribs and stepped on his foot. Zack let go instantly and looked like he had the wind knocked out of him.

"I told you to let go," Cloud said.

Zack winced and hopped on one foot, "You didn't have to be that rough!"

Cloud stared at him before saying, "There's a joke in there somewhere. I'm sure you'll find it."

Zack thought about it for a moment and then, upon realizing it, laughed to himself, "Ahah, good one!"

Before Cloud stalked off, he gave one more jibe at his friend, "Only you'd congratulate yourself on a joke you thought of..."

"What's with him?" Zack asked me as he watched his golden haired friend go.

I shrugged, "Maybe he's cranky because he didn't sleep enough. Cloud's not exactly a morning person."

I still remembered the time he pulled a knife on me for waking him up. I shivered at the memory.

Zack shook his head, "No. He's been in surprisingly good spirits ever since he came back from his temporary MIA status."

That was Cloud in good spirits? I didn't think I'd ever want to see him truly angry and bitter.

Wait.

Was Cloud in a good mood because of...?

Aha.

Yeah right.

There's no way.

I feel stupid for even thinking it.

Zack walked up to me, still smiling. Back to old Zack, it seemed. No more slumped shoulders and pouty faces.

"Are you ready yet? Aerith told me to tell you to hurry up. The bus is already here and everyone's getting ready to board," Zack explained.

I looked down at what I was wearing. Long sleeved shirt, dark blue jeans, a belt and boots. I was all set. I just wanted another quick brush through of my hair. I wasn't really used to letting it down all the time and I was paranoid it was going to go AWOL on me.

"I see you've been keeping your hair down. What changed your mind, princess?" Zack questioned, his tone playful.

"I...uh...change, I guess," I lied.

"Mhm," Zack sounded disbelieving, "Of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that I told you it looked nice like that."

"Nope," I lied again.

Maybe it did. Maybe it was also because Cloud said he liked it down right before he kissed me. And maybe it had something to do with Aerith always telling me she preferred it, too. Maybe, I was starting to like it this way. When I was younger, my hair was always cut short. I liked it out of my way. It was easy to manage. Elmyra and Aerith had insisted I grow it out. They would tell me long hair would suit my face better. It turned out to be true but, at the time, I knew it was a cover-up. Keeping me unrecognizable was their major priority back then and they danced around the truth to make me as comfortable as possible.

Zack's hearty laugh brought me back to the present and I found myself staring at a wide eyed girl in the mirror, combing her long, chocolate brown hair.

"You're a terrible liar, Tifa. You do know that's a sin right?" He chided.

It wouldn't be my worst one.

I need to stop thinking that way. Maybe I should go say a quick prayer before leaving, get my spirits back up.

I keep telling myself I've been forgiven. So why do I keep having a hard time believing it? Why do the shadows still follow me? Why does it feel like I'm still covered in blood? God hasn't abandoned me, I know that. If He had, He wouldn't have given me Aerith and Elmyra. He wouldn't have given me a new family. A real one. I just have to keep remembering that.

"Earth to Tifa?" It was Zack's voice behind me.

He stared at me in the mirror and I put the comb down. I took in a deep breath, smiled and turned around only to find him pressing me against the table. I leaned backwards, shocked by his sudden closeness. Normally, I'd have made a fool of myself. Normally, I'd feel embarrassed and think the worst. But all I could think of was that his left cheek looked bruised up. Sun kissed skin was marred with a light bluish tinge, completely unnoticeable unless you were as close as I was. I brought my fingers to it and touched it lightly, careful not to hurt him.

"Did Cloud just do that?" I asked, trying to recall if the blonde had hit Zack's face.

If Zack didn't like my hand on his skin, he didn't let me know. He allowed it and he stared at me, eyes searching my face. Such pretty eyes. They were a dark blue. Different from Cloud's. The colour of the deepest waters of the sea you can imagine. If I had been more myself, maybe I'd have noted how his arms were on either side of me, pinning me to the uncomfortable position against my vanity table. Maybe I'd have noticed something other than his thick fringe of lashes and high cheekbones or the light dusting of freckles across his nose.

If I had been more like the Tifa everyone seemed to know, the one who's a prude and thinks kissing is gross, I wouldn't have leaned forward and forced my lips onto his to find out what they felt like, what they tasted like. That Tifa wouldn't have wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him closer, rubbed her legs against his thighs and locked them around him when he lifted her up and pushed her against the things on the vanity table. The brush wouldn't have fallen to the ground and her fingers wouldn't have tangled in his hair, knocking the ridiculous cap off. Most notably, that Tifa would never have allowed his tongue to dart into her mouth, curious and hot.

Then again, maybe that Tifa didn't really matter anymore...

Maybe she was dead.

-.-

**A/N: **_So this chapter starts off sort of filler-ish but it took significant leaps with Tifa and Zack's relationship. I know a lot of people reading are rooting for Cloti and I promise, there is more of that to come. Things are still unresolved regarding the kiss they shared. But first, I need to continue developing Tifa, and Zack's role here is pretty integral to that. Anyways, promises of more action to come in the next few chapters. Don Corneo and Sephiroth will be making their appearances eventually and perhaps, the Turks. Thoughts and feedback are welcomed, as usual. :) Thanks for reading!_


	10. Of Lions & Lambs

**A/N: **_As usual, seeing all your feedback has been greatly inspiring! It's absolutely wonderful having such a great group of readers and reviewers! Every single review is read (maybe more than once) and adored. I wouldn't have kept up with this for as long as I have without you guys. I know I may not reply, but I do take into consideration the input I receive. :) So here's another update._

**Summary: **AU. Good Christian girls don't talk to male prostitutes. Good Christian girls don't let the male prostitutes teach them bad things. And most importantly, good Christian girls do not have feelings for said male prostitutes. Cloud/Tifa/Zack

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Nine**

**Of Lions & Lambs**

Her pillow smells like honey and lilies. Her sheets are cold and crisply folded. Her bed is empty. Except for where I lie. The spot where she belongs, there is nothing. My hand reaches out, searching, but my fingertips only grasp at air. The clock ticks softly in the background. The room is dead. Lifeless without her. Like everything stood still, like it all wilted when she was gone, sleeping until she would return to wake it. I joined the room in the lull.

The only thing tying me to reality was the cool, wet spot on the pillow beneath my cheek, soaked with my own tears. They fell, without warning. And suddenly, there were so many of them. I was choking on air, trying to remember to breathe through muffled sobs and I couldn't quiet down. I was useless here, without her. I was useless. I always have been. I couldn't help her, not even now. And I owed her, God knows I owed her.

Aerith saved my life and I couldn't do a darn thing to save hers.

She was gone.

Maybe dead.

They'd find her body in another alley, only this time, we wouldn't be so lucky. She wouldn't be breathing and it would be all my fault. Elmyra would never speak to me again and how could she? I've done horrible, terrible things. Unforgivable. But I wasn't doing any good. I wasn't helping Zack or Cloud. I've done nothing for them and this was my punishment, the reminder that I was falling out of line. I was supposed to be repenting, atoning and I wasn't. So now Aerith was going to pay for it and it wasn't fair.

She saved me.

How disappointing.

She saved a monster.

-.-

It was awkward. Even the bus ride there was awkward. I didn't know what had come over me, didn't understand it. One thing was for certain; how it made me feel. Oh God, I wanted more. It was so hard to pull away, to remove myself from it. I wasn't used to the feeling. That need, that raw hunger, even as my fingers became like claws in his thick hair with the way I grabbed fistfuls of it, the way his mouth felt warm and soft against the flesh of my neck, his tongue flicking out against the tender spot where my pulse jumped. It had been almost animalistic, violent and I...liked it. I wanted it. Actually, I pushed for it. Me, Tifa Lockhart. It was the strangest thing. I mean, Zack Fair is a male prostitute. I had no right to be meddling with that. Our worlds were not supposed to interact in this fashion. He was my pupil, and I his mentor. That was what the relationship was supposed to be.

But it sure as heck didn't feel that way every time I caught his eyes on me. He'd smile that arrogant I-know-something-everyone-else-doesn't-know smile and it would leave me looking away quickly and sinking in my seat against the fake leather material.

I had managed to pull away from Zack, eventually. But it made my face burn to recall it all. I was so ashamed. I felt so vulnerable. And it was like it all came back full swing whenever I'd see him. Even if I was just staring at his shirt, all I could think of was how my hand had slid underneath it and how warm his body had been. Don't even start me on the hair. I'd look down at my own lap in an effort to distract myself but all I would be reminded of was how his hand had snaked up my shirt and grabbed my...

Oh, dear Lord have mercy.

I cannot even believe I let him do that! Much less, admit that I enjoyed it when he did.

I am going to hell.

Somewhere deep in hell where I will be tortured endlessly, killed, revived and tortured some more for all of eternity. Right there, next to every serial killer and woman beater in existence.

Thank goodness for bus horns. I managed to hear it in time to pull away from Zack and fix myself. I had become dishevelled and basically, a heap of gasping emotions, like a fish out of water. Wide-eyed, terrified, glancing around like I was some kind of paranoid schizophrenic before Cloud came back to ask us what the heck was taking so long. He looked at the both of us, noticed Zack's hat was on the floor, noticed the muss of his hair, that he was cornered against my table, that I was out of breath, and hasn't spoken to me since.

How do I always end up in the middle of these things?

Why is it even happening to me?

These were not the sort of problems I was used to experiencing. Nightmares, pills, death, demons, I was used to all that. But boy problems? Me? Or, I suppose I should say, prostitute problems but that just sounds horrible. I don't know the first thing of how to handle all this. I don't know how to handle my own emotions, much less the feelings of others. I didn't think human intimacy was something I could even do but Zack had quickly proven that theory wrong. I gulped when I realized it: I had been aroused back there.

Was that a sin?

"Tifa, what is going on in that silly little head of yours?" It was Aerith's voice that brought me out into the present.

She was sitting beside me, on the aisle side of the bus, staring at my slumped body. I adjusted myself so that my neck wasn't at an odd angle anymore, but ensuring that I was still somehow hidden from Zack's knowing stares and smiles.

"N-nothing! Nothing is going on. My head is empty, no buzzing, not a thing," I lied to Aerith.

I had to stop doing that. I knew she could see right through me. One of the main reasons I had planned this trip was so that we could work on our relationship. But all it seemed to be doing was complicating things even further. Not a good start. Aerith gave me a knowing look, her lips becoming a thin line.

"Tifa. You've been deadly silent for the past twenty minutes. Not to mention, slumping further and further in your seat and using me as some kind of shield from Zack and Cloud. Start spilling the beans," She stated in her serious tone.

Uh-oh. I could be in trouble with her, too. As if it weren't bad enough that Cloud couldn't even look at me and Zack couldn't stop trying to. Not to mention, the others on the bus weren't exactly excited about a trip to the zoo. Scarlett was giving me heaps of angry, heated death glares and her posse was joining in on the fun. The Tifa Lockhart fanclub was currently sitting at a whopping one member. Remind me never to run for president.

"I'm not hiding! Just, uh...tired. Haven't been sleeping well the last few nights," I said to Aerith with a smile as wide as I could muster.

Please, let her believe me.

Aerith just stared at me before the bus came to a halt. I looked out the window and saw that we were finally at our destination. Everyone started standing up to get off the bus while Aerith continued to analyze me. Sometimes, she made it hard to believe she was even blind, the way she could stare. I just kept my smile, kept the facade. It was better if she didn't really know yet. I mean, what would she think of me if she knew? Wasn't it bad enough she knew of my...darker secrets?

A flash of a room covered in blood, of tainted hands, a child's hands.

I shook the image out and focused on the present. Aerith didn't need to be burdened with my problems. I'd find a way of fixing things with the boys. I always did.

"Looks like we're here," I said to her.

She didn't say anything, only turned and gave me her back before walking down the aisle of the bus, feeling the seats with her hands as she went. I got up and followed her, just to make sure that she didn't fall on her face or anything. Not that she ever did, but it never hurt to be cautious. As I did, Cloud had gotten up after me. I didn't notice until we were off the bus and I had turned around, bumping right into him. I apologized but he just brushed right past me without as much as a glance.

Hadn't we just recently patched things up? He'd only been joking with me this morning and now we were back to square one. I was never going to get this right.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I asked Aerith.

"We're going to split up into four separate groups and meet back here by six o'clock. Anyone who isn't back by then is going to have to find another way home, so don't be late," Aerith instructed to the group.

Aerith divided up everyone into groups of six until the only ones left were me, Cloud, Zack, Scarlett, Cissnei, Yuffie, and Aerith herself. Scarlett rolled her eyes and started walking away, her posse not far behind. Zack watched them go while Cloud's attention remained on Aerith.

"Guess they'll be getting a head start?" I asked, trying to ease the tension.

No such luck.

"Yes well, that works just fine," Aerith stated.

"Why are we even here, Aerith? What is this supposed to accomplish? Am I supposed to have some kind of epiphany?" Cloud asked, a bitter edge to his voice.

Aerith regarded him with a cool expression, "Because it will be fun. You will enjoy yourself and relax, Cloud. That is the purpose. I'm in no mood for a tantrum, so you're going to walk with Zack and make the most of the day."

Cloud snarled, "I'm not a child so quit talking to me like I am one!"

Aerith, always the level headed one, lifted her chin in defiance and spat back, "I will when you stop acting like one."

"Woah, woah. What's with the funky mood this morning? Why isn't everyone happy? How about some cotton candy and penguins? Everyone loves a penguin," Zack interjected, stepping between the two.

"Cutest birds ever, right Tifa?" Zack looked to me for help but I was still having some trouble meeting his eyes after what had happened in my room.

I nodded in response, keeping my gaze downcast, "Yes, penguins. I like penguins."

Cloud stepped right up to Zack, eyes burning a bright blue and when he spoke, his voice was a dangerous low tone, "Of course, you'd be happy, Zack."

Zack's face was blank and hard to read but Cloud was smiling in a malicious manner. Aerith watched the exchange with mild interest but she didn't try to stop anything. I guess that left me.

"What's there not to be happy about? The weather is nice, the sun is out and we're at the zoo," I explained, tearing the two men apart.

Cloud grunted but stepped back. He stalked away towards the entrance while the three of us watched him go, shoulders hunched and hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Zack, you should fix this," Aerith stated.

"Fix what? I didn't even do anything! You had it right; he's just having a bitch fit!" Zack cried in defense.

Aerith shook her head, "It doesn't matter. Go talk to him, work it out. Tifa and I have our own things to sort through."

Oh right. There was that. I still didn't even really know what to tell Aerith. I had to tell her something, though. She was clearly worried and I had been keeping more than a few secrets. I guess I just didn't want to make a big deal out of anything. It wasn't like the Don or Sephiroth had made good on any of their threats. That night was barely more than a memory at this point. Then there were the fresher accidents, like the kissing...was that even really relevant, though?

Zack kicked at the rocks, mumbled something under his breath and walked after Cloud, leaving Aerith and I alone. She looped her arm through mine and we headed out of the parking lot towards the Midgar Zoo.

"I could go for some cotton candy," She smiled at me.

So that was our first stop. Zack and Cloud had used the girls as a buffer for their tension while Aerith and I watched from afar. I was just waiting for the bomb to drop. Any minute now. Aerith leaned against the fence, wisps of the candy sticking to her chin. All these years and she was still a mess when it came to food.

"So," she started, taking another bite, "what is it you aren't telling me?"

Where do I even start? I took in a deep breath and tried to think of a good way of breaking it to her.

"Have you ever uhm, had conflicting feelings regarding one of your projects?" I asked, trying my best to avoid eye contact.

Aerith stood up straight and said, "If you haven't noticed, Tifa, my projects are all female prostitutes. If, by conflicting feelings, you mean wanting to help them one minute and wanting to punch them the next, then yes, I have had conflicting feelings."

I laughed but shook my head, "I don't mean it like that."

She giggled and took another bite, "Well then, what do you mean?"

I picked at my stick of cotton candy before trying again, "I mean, _other_ conflicting feelings."

"Like?" Aerith probed.

I ate a piece I had picked off and said, "Like...feelings you shouldn't be experiencing, especially with people like them."

"Oh my God, you had sex with one of them, didn't you?!" Aerith cried.

I dropped my stick of cotton candy on the floor and my eyes felt like they were going to explode out of my skull. I jumped to the defensive, "NO! GOD NO. Nothing like that!"

I waved my hands about madly while Aerith covered her mouth in shock, disbelieving. Great. I looked and noticed that her outbreak had gotten everyone around us to stare, including the group. I waved and smiled, trying to cover it up but Scarlett made a comment and everyone burst out laughing. Well, that took care of it, at least. Even if it may have been at my expense. I turned back to Aerith, who still seemed to be devouring this new piece of information she was convinced was true.

"Aerith, I did not sleep with them!" I tried to explain again.

"Then what, Tifa?" She asked.

I froze up, recalling the moment in the church. How could that memory still be so vivid in my head? The way Cloud had smelt, the way he had so suddenly brought his lips to mine, so gentle, so soft. He hadn't pushed his tongue into my mouth or fondled my breast. Nothing like what had happened with Zack earlier in the day. Except, that was my doing. I was the one who instigated all of it. I was scaring myself again.

I ran shaky fingers through my hair and said, "That time when Cloud had gone to the church...when I had found him..."

Aerith stayed quiet, waiting, giving me the chance to move forward. Only, what did I tell her? That he kissed me? Or should I tell her why he'd ended up there in the first place? How terrified he'd been when Sephiroth had shown up. A shell, that's what he had become, it was what I had found in that church. When I hesitated, Aerith's hands found my shoulders where she kept me steady and stared directly into my face.

"You can tell me, Tifa. You can tell me anything, you know that. We're sisters and as sisters, we've always told each other secrets," Aerith said, her expression open, smiling, loving.

Sometimes, I didn't think I deserved it with the way I always kept her at an arm's length. Maybe I should change that. But maybe it would be better not to mention the Don; the evil little man from her past. It could hurt her, worry her. I knew my answer then.

"He kissed me," I whispered, finally confessing.

I found myself staring at our feet. Pick a secret Tifa, any secret.

I didn't know what to expect. Would she panic? Would she hit him? Would she hit me? Would she scold me? Tell Elmyra if I didn't put an end to whatever that had been? Her hands fell away from my shoulders and when I worked up the nerve to look at her, Aerith was smiling.

"Did you kiss him back?" She asked me, that playfulness returning full throttle.

I felt my face heat up and answered, "I don't really know."

Aerith clasped her hands together and grinned at me, "You did, didn't you? Oh, Tifa. You aren't a robot after all!"

A what?

"I was a robot?" I asked as she practically jumped about in excitement.

"Ever since you were young, you showed no interest in boys. So for a time, I thought maybe you liked girls. But you didn't pay attention to them, either. My next logical conclusion was that you were a robot," Aerith's voice was serious.

"That was your logical conclusion? That I was a robot?" I couldn't believe her sometimes.

She nodded, still smiling, "Looks like you do have working girl parts, though so no worries! This makes me happy! Why would you even keep this from me?"

I didn't even know what to say.

"What about the fact that this is sort of against the rules?" I asked her, trying to steer her to the more important issue.

Aerith sighed, "Not to mention the fact that he currently hates your guts. What's up with that? Did you reject him?"

"I didn't do anything!" I cried out, trying to erase the persistent memory of Zack in my room.

Aerith gave me a quizzical look, "Well, that doesn't make any sense. Why would he kiss you and then ignore you?"

I shuffled my feet and thought that it may have had something to do with catching me in a very compromising situation. I should have probably addressed it before it had gotten out of hand.

"You need to do something about all this, Tifa. You can't just let this go on. Either you do your job or drop the project, citing personal conflict of interest. It has to be one or the other," Aerith said.

I knew she was right, that I should probably quit working with Cloud and Zack. But I still thought I could fix it, patch things up and make certain boundaries clear again. I just needed to get them to talk. So I nodded my head in agreement and decided to come up with some kind of plan. After discussing it thoroughly with Aerith, I settled for keeping Cloud back with me at the zoo after everyone left. We'd take the bus home and this way, some precious alone time could really get him to open up to me about any issues. She wasn't entirely sure it was a great idea but Aerith was supportive. Thankfully, she didn't ask any more questions and I was granted a reprieve from having to bring up the debacle with Zack, as well as the run-in with Sephiroth and the Don.

About a quarter to six, I ran up to Cloud and pulled him away from the group. He was a little hesitant at first but ended up being more surprised at my forwardness with him. The silent treatment he had given me all day was sort of an indication for me to stay away, I suppose. Still, he was cooperative and it was a little off putting.

"How about some ice cream after everyone leaves?" I asked him, slightly out of breath.

He looked at me like he was trying to figure me out, like he was confused by me.

"But, won't we miss the bus back?" He asked calmly.

I grinned and said, "We can take public transit. I know how to get back from here."

"For ice cream? I'd rather not. I have things to do, I need to get back," He argued.

He started walking away from me. Just perfect. I had to stop him and I was pretty desperate, so I called out, "We need to talk!"

He paused and then turned to acknowledge me.

"Nothing to talk about."

I gulped, "Yes there is and you know it."

I didn't want to say it, didn't want to bring up what had happened. I was hoping he would just understand and take the bait. Shockingly enough, he did. He came back towards me, regarding me with the same cold eyes of when he had argued with his friend earlier.

"I don't care what you do with Zack. It isn't any of my business. So no, I don't want to talk about it," he spoke, his voice low enough so that no one else heard.

"That wasn't..." I trailed off, not really knowing what I was even trying to say.

"It's fine. It doesn't even matter. I won't say anything, if that's what you're worried about."

When I looked up at him, I saw that he was sincere. He really meant it.

"Ice cream," I stated quite simply, pointing at the vendor.

"Please?" I threw in for good measure.

He didn't object this time. He just followed my finger and sighed. I won this round. But I still wasn't entirely comfortable with really broaching the topic again until I had a chocolate flavoured ice cream bar in my hand and we were both watching the lion from outside his cage. He was lying down, comfortable and licking at the fur of his large claws, grooming himself. Such a magnificent creature. Dangerous but beautiful.

Cloud broke the silence first, "You know, you should probably stop working with Zack if you're worried about your career."

I turned to look at him, wide-eyed, "Why would I want to do that?"

Cloud stared at the ground when he said, "Isn't there some kind of rule about sleeping with one of your misguided souls?"

"We aren't sleeping together!" I cried for what felt like the tenth time that day.

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and he said, "Not yet, anyways."

"It isn't like that," I tried explaining.

Cloud kicked at the ground, "So, it didn't mean anything?"

I shook my head, "I was out of line. Things have been...hard, lately. Zack was there for me when..."

When I had fainted and he had accused me of being a murderer.

Red, there was always so much red. On my hands, on the walls, on the floor, on my clothes, my face, in my hair, in the snow. It tainted everything. I brushed those memories away quickly before they consumed me again.

How could I tell Cloud? Aerith said to be honest, to tell the truth and it would fix everything but Elmyra said that the fewer people who knew, the better. Safe. Everyone wanted answers and I had to lie. Is it a sin now? Am I just adding to the list of all the things I've done wrong?

"Zack was there for me when I had finally broken down about the entire thing that happened with the Don. I was completely out of line, I let it get too far but I can promise that it won't happen again," Liar, liar.

Could he see through me, too?

I could feel his eyes on me, burning holes right through. He didn't speak for a long time and I stood there, distracting myself with the ice cream and the lazy lion in his cage for as long as I could.

"Good. That's good," he finally spoke.

When I looked up at him, he was staring into the cage, at the lion. The large mammal had gotten up and started pacing. It looked like it was dinner time and he reminded me that it was getting late for us, too.

"I'm glad we got that sorted," I said as we walked towards the exit.

With the sun settling down and having devoured the ice cream, I was feeling the chill of the evening. It nipped at me and I broke out into goose bumps. Cloud walked next to me, pretty much unaffected in his flimsy and faded blue t-shirt. I brushed my hair behind my ear, uncomfortable with the silence. I hadn't expected it to go this smooth. But there was still something nagging me.

"So, why were you ignoring me today?" I asked before really considering the damage my question could do.

Cloud looked taken aback and scratched the back of his head in response, "I guess I let it bother me more than it should have."

And there it was. The Zack kiss did bug him.

"It bothered you? Is it because he's your friend?"

Cloud nodded, "Well, that and...Never mind."

"You can tell me," I said, trying to sound sincere and sweet.

He gave me this really long look but for once, there was no ice. Cloud was warm and it was an opportunity I couldn't miss out on.

"Zack never does anything for free. Not with anyone."

What did that mean? Was he going to charge me? Why did that bother Cloud? I still had so many questions.

"So that's why you got upset with him?" I questioned, hugging myself in an effort to ward off the chill of the wind.

Cloud winced at my accusation and rubbed at his forehead when he spoke, "I wasn't upset with him. You don't belong to anyone. You're free to do whatever you want with whomever you want."

Oh, boy. I didn't like where this was going.

"I-I'm not doing anything with anyone!" I squeaked.

Another smile from Cloud, a real smile. Genuine. I seemed to humor him. He was mocking me.

"You need to relax. It doesn't have to mean anything, you know. Just because you kiss someone or make out or even fuck, it isn't some kind of emotional commitment. Sometimes you do things just because it feels good. It feels right. It's human," He explained.

"Well, according to Aerith, I'm a robot," I recalled, feeling weird about it all over again.

This seemed to illicit a laugh from Cloud. I didn't think I'd ever heard him laugh like that. It was contagious. I couldn't help but grin. The idea of being a robot, it was pretty funny when I thought about it.

"She actually called you a robot? Your sister sure is a piece of work," he admitted, still laughing.

"She's supposed to be the wise one, you know," I said, smiling like a fool.

He grinned at me, teeth shining, "I'd say she has looks, but I'm not too sure about wisdom."

"Hey, that's my sister you're talking about!" I teased.

We laughed for a little while more before it became Cloud's turn to ask the questions.

"You aren't biological sisters, though. How'd that end up happening?"

I couldn't answer this truthfully. But I had told enough lies. Was there any way around it? Was there any way I could omit the blood, omit the little girl who had found me in the snow, hiding by a dumpster? Aerith had found me. She had brought me to Elmyra, coated in _his_ blood. People were looking for me, people wanted me dead.

_A child, but she's only a child..._She hid me, changed me, washed me and pretended like nothing ever happened. Aerith never saw the monster. She didn't see a murderer. She saw a sister she never had.

"We were both orphans that Elmyra had found personally. So she brought us to the convent, grew so attached, she adopted us as her own. Aerith was first and then she found me," It wasn't really a lie.

I thought he was going to ask more, get more details. I was afraid he would because I didn't know what to say without lying again. I didn't want to lie. It made me feel dirty. But if Cloud was still thinking about my little story, he didn't bring it up. It seems what I had said was enough for now.

We made it back in one piece, making mostly small talk the rest of the way. Cloud was in a much better mood than he had been earlier and I was beginning to think he suffered from a Jekyll and Hyde malady. His eyes had a habit of changing from that steely blue to a soft, warm shade when his mood lightened and it was strange to say, both kind of left me with my heart racing. But the former may have been due to fear. I'm still not too sure about the latter...

I was in good spirits myself by the time we got back. I couldn't believe the progress I had made. I was so thankful, so grateful that after everything, there was this shiny light at the end. Cloud trusted me, I made him laugh and smile and we could put everything behind us now. The next person I had to work on would be Zack and that wouldn't be too hard. I doubted any of it meant anything to him. It was simply a heat of the moment thing, never to happen again. He'd understand. Even agree.

Things were looking up, for a change. It was all thanks to Him. I brought the silver cross to my lips and kissed it. A trip to the zoo never did fail me. Not before and certainly not today.

-.-

It was a disaster. It was a nightmare. It was all happening in slow motion and I stood there, just listening to the sound of my own breathing. Everyone bustled about, no one could sleep. Elmyra was crying, tears staining her cheeks as she stayed on the floor of the chapel. The other sisters were trying to console her but the place was ransacked, broken, damaged. It was going to cost a lot to fix everything. They had to go around doing their best to put it back together.

But I couldn't hear any of them. I couldn't even feel Zack shaking my shoulders. He was staring at me, his face covered in a sheen of sweat. Dark bits of hair stuck to his forehead, his sharp eyebrows furrowed. His dark blue eyes glittered and danced in front of me so slowly. My palms were wet. I was moving with him, my head bobbing about, but I wasn't really there.

They had taken her.

He had taken her.

Again.

The one who had gotten away.

The Don never did like losing one of his trophies.

If I had only been there, I'd have told him I was his girl. It was me. He wanted me, not Aerith. But I hadn't and now he had her and there was nothing I could do.

"Tifa, God damn it! Come back to me!" Zack cried, slapping my cheek lightly.

I just smiled at him and my head lolled about in his grip where he held me by the chin. His fingers smelled like soap.

"Stop, Zack. She needs to get some sleep. This is a lot to take in," It was Cloud's voice and his hand on Zack's arm.

Cloud's face hovered before my vision, taking over where Zack used to be.

"We're going to get her back, Tifa. You have my word, we'll bring her back. If it's the last thing I do..." He said, his voice dragging.

But it was me that he wanted.

I was the girl in the pool of blood.

And he wanted to see my violent side.

And I wanted to show him it.

He would see Tifa Lockhart like he'd never seen her before.

He wouldn't get to burn down the place I loved again.

He wouldn't break my mother once more.

And he would definitely never have my sister a second time.

-.-

**A/N: **_Apologies for the delay but it really took me a while to get this chapter put together the way I wanted it to. Not to mention, I have school around the corner and it's going to get tougher to keep it going. I'll do my best for you guys but in the mean time, I hope this satisfies everyone after such a filler chapter the last time around. Also, I'm sure all the Cloti fans can appreciate some good old Cloud and Tifa bonding scenes. Strangely enough, my favourite relationship dynamic to write in this has been Aerith and Tifa. Weird how that turned out. As usual, feedback always welcomed. :) Thanks for reading!_


	11. Forgive Me My Trespasses

**A/N: **_So I've basically just realized how close to the end I actually am. I'm not entirely sure how many chapters are left, seeing as how I add things as I go along, but the major plot points are going to be covered shortly. Apologies for delays in updates. Such is the life of a university student. If I could, I would devote all of my time to writing. Anyhow, I haven't abandoned this story! It's just taking me some time to write it all. _

_Also, in an effort to promote more frequent updates, chapters will be much shorter! If anyone has an issue with this, feel free to vote in the poll posted on my profile page to let me know. Happy reading! :)_

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter 10:**

**Forgive Me My Trespasses**

I couldn't watch them bandage sister Elmyra's hand.

I'm not one to cringe away from blood, or from missing fingers. It was the message that her wounds carried that terrified me.

The message that told me that they had Aerith, and that they were going to do as they pleased with her.

Every waking moment, she was in their hands, and a terrible fear grew inside of me at the thought of what they could be doing to her. Aerith was strong and foolishly brave. But, her past still haunted her. People don't just get over being raped, not even someone as aloof as my sister.

I could never forget what it was like after we'd brought her home from the hospital. She had isolated herself from everyone for quite some time, and whenever anyone touched her, she'd flinch and back away. It had taken her a very long time, and a lot of support, to become the woman she was now.

It didn't matter how many times the other sisters told the story, I still had a hard time envisioning Aerith willingly giving herself up once she'd found the Turks cutting up our mother's fingers. To willingly go back into the Don's clutches? And for what?

For me.

Aerith was keeping me safe.

Just like Elmyra was keeping me safe. They'd gag her whenever they'd cut a finger, in an effort to hold back her screams. But she hadn't even made a single sound. Instead, tears would roll down her cheeks, and her eyes remained closed in a silent prayer.

That was how Aerith had found her. Elmyra had tried to protect her, too. Tried to tell her to run, but couldn't find her voice with the cloth in her mouth. They had spotted her, then. My innocent sister. The flower basket she'd been carrying had dropped out of her hands when she'd realized the threat.

She hadn't backed away.

Aerith stood her ground and asked them what they wanted.

When they told her the message, she told them that she would go with them, so long as they leave Elmyra behind. They hadn't been interested, at first.

Then, she'd told them who she was and what she meant to the Don. That was all it took.

They'd taken my sister, Elmyra's fingers, and left nothing behind but a bloody mess and a threatening message.

"Sephiroth wants his plaything."

The colour had drained from Cloud's face, and Zack had caused some damage to his fingers when he'd punched the wall.

Everyone at the convent was shaken. The sisters were scared, and even Scarlett and her girls seemed frightened.

"Everyone knows not to mess with the General," She'd said to Zack as she watched them bandage up Elmyra's useless hand.

"Everyone," repeated Cissnei.

So, where does that leave me?

"I haven't been entirely honest with you," I found myself explaining to Zack in the privacy of my own room.

He had been pacing, racking his brain for a solution to the problem. Someone had brought up going to the authorities, but no doubt ShinRa would dismiss everything in an effort to protect their prized General. He could have his fun, so long as he kept winning their battles.

"Tifa, if this is about your...secret, save it for later. Aerith told me everything, but there's no need to dwell on that, now," Zack explained, resuming his pacing.

Back.

Forth.

Back.

Forth.

With downcast eyes, I continued, anyways: "I lied about it. About everything. They taught me the lies, in case they came looking for me. I guess, eventually, I started to believe them myself. Maybe because it was easier that way, to believe I had some normal childhood."

Zack didn't seem to be listening. I shuffled my feet and went on, "But I did have a normal childhood, before _he_ came into our lives. I liked to colour, I loved my long hair, and I was the pretty, popular girl at school."

Back.

Forth.

"Optimistic Tifa, that's who I was. I was happy. But when I came to Elmyra, I was different. They tried everything to get rid of the anger, the hate, and the violence. Extracurricular activities, prayers, blessings, the whole lot. None of it worked. Until they introduced me to a man named Zangan.

"He helped me transfer all the anger into martial arts. He taught me everything. We went through a lot, and eventually, I got better. Then came religion. I truly believed that I could be forgiven for what I'd done, for the red on my hands. I believed in redemption. That if I keep doing good, then maybe I would outdo the bad," I admitted.

The pacing had stopped.

I stared up into his blue eyes and stated, "If I do enough good, then maybe I could still believe I'm that same, innocent little girl. Who just happens to know every variety of martial arts in existence."

Zack's large hands cupped my face. It was a little bit awkward, with the hand he'd hurt, but when he spoke, my name was nothing but a soft caress on his lips: "Tifa..."

I closed my eyes, and my hands grabbed hold of his wrists with a gentle grip.

I was trembling.

"She made me promise, made me swear I'd never use my skills to hurt people anymore, not even the ones who deserve it. She made me _swear_!" I cried, leaning forward and into Zack's chest.

His good hand came up behind my head, and he held me there, in the comfort of his arms.

"I have to help her, I have to save her. It has to be me, you know that right?" I sobbed into Zack's shirt.

"You don't have to do it alone, Tifa," Zack whispered into my hair.

I shook my head, "I can't ask this of Cloud. Sephiroth wants him. If he were to catch him..."

"You're underestimating my man Cloud. He's a lot tougher in these sorts of situations than you give him credit for. There isn't anyone else I'd rather have at my back. Trust me on this, he'll come around," Zack explained.

Zack moved away and grinned at me, "You know, at some point, we were both considering entering SOLDIER."

I couldn't help but smile, despite it all. It was pretty funny, the idea of the two of them as serious soldiers, carrying swords and the like.

"She does smile, after all!" Zack exclaimed.

"Thank you," I said.

Zack's smile faltered a little and he asked, "What for? I haven't done you any favors."

I looked up at him through glassy eyes, and smiled, "For helping me and Aerith, and for making me feel better at a time like this. For keeping my secret, and for not judging me for it, even though you should. For everything. Thank you, Zack."

I stood up, possessed by courage and gratitude. He watched me, cautious. He seemed taken aback by my sudden confession. I walked towards him.

"I know I was supposed to be the one to save you, but somewhere along the way, we switched roles," I confessed.

I was in front of him now, staring up at his face, at all the perfect angles of his jaw, of his long nose.

It was all he could take.

Before I knew what was happening, hands were everywhere, exploring. Lips were on skin, kissing fervently and urgently, tongues dancing, tasting. Clothing seemed to be an obstacle and a nuisance.

I could feel everything slipping.

I was letting go.

I was changed, again.

And finally, I caved.

-.-

**A/N: **_Short update, as promised. Expect more at a sooner pace, though! I'll let you all interpret the end of this chapter any way you want, for now. Story still isn't over yet, so hang on. Be on the lookout for some more CloTi/Fack goodness in the following chapters! Thanks for reading, following, and as usual, reviews are welcomed. :)_


	12. Prayer against Sin

**A/N: **_I've taken into consideration everything everyone has been saying. It seems the majority votes for shorter, frequent updates and so, that's what I'll be doing for the remainder. Apologies to all the lovely people who were willing to suffer a wait for lengthier chapters. :( _

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter 11:**

**Prayer against Sin**

Chaos is what has become of my home. I watch it in slow motion, I watch them all panic. Fear is an understatement. A church had been burned to the ground once before, while they searched for a child who had committed a heinous crime. Flowers grow there now, thanks to Aerith.

But they're all arguing, while Elmyra just stares off into space, holding her maimed and bandaged hand. Zack and Cloud are trying to control it all, trying to play up their charm. Good cop, bad cop. From where I'm sitting, I can tell it isn't working. The clock ticks away my sister's life in the background. A constant reminder of what I'm going to lose if I don't hurry.

Tick. Tock. Goes the clock.

Time is running out and none of them are shutting up.

By the end of it, everyone has gone quiet, and Scarlett lay knocked out at my feet, a trail of blood coming down from her nose. I unclenched my fists, and took in a deep breath. Elmyra was watching me, watching the girl she'd raised revert back into the lost child she'd found all those years ago. I can't tell if it's fear or shock registering on her face as she takes in what I've just done. Or maybe disappointment, knowing all her hard work was for naught.

Without looking at her, I find my voice, "I'm bringing her home."

I headed to my room, not looking back. I didn't think I wanted to see my reflection in Cloud's eyes. I was too afraid of finding out what would be there if I did.

On my way, the shadows crept and crawled along the wall. They followed me. They whispered. Only this time, I wasn't running. I wasn't looking for forgiveness; I wanted revenge, and so, they joined me instead.

Cloud stood in the doorway when I slipped on the gloves Zangan had given me as a parting gift.

"I'm coming with you," He stated.

"You can't. We both know that," I replied, not turning to acknowledge him.

His hand fell on my shoulder a moment later.

"I can. It's my fault they have her in the first place," He explained.

I shook my head, "But it's me they want."

I turned around and stared into his eyes, noting the confusion in his expression at my statement.

"I killed Hojo," I admitted, quite simply.

It doesn't take much for the memory to resurface.

There's a mirror in their bedroom, body-length because she liked to admire her figure in full. It was her favourite. It's been sprayed with blood, droplets slipping down its edges. It shows me the image of a little girl, her face covered in crimson, a large butcher knife clutched in her tiny hands. She holds it above an unmoving body, and she stabs and stabs and stabs until she hits the carpet, until pieces of him are flying. Bits of him are on her clothes. Tears stain her cheeks, running a track through the crimson smears on her pale skin.

Only when she's convinced he's gone does she crawl towards the other body on the floor. She stares into the face of the young woman. Her eyes are closed, and she looks like she's at peace. She's trying to convince herself that she's just sleeping. But when pushes and shoves don't rouse her, she settles for nestling against her instead. She falls asleep like that and doesn't wake up until the sirens have gotten closer.

When she tries to wake her, when she wants to pull her away and keep her safe, it isn't Lucrecia she sees. It's Aerith.

"She looks so much like her," The words seem to be coming from my mouth, but it's the child who speaks in the memory.

She strokes the soft brown hair out of Aerith's face, tenderly.

When it fades, I realize that Cloud is holding me in his arms, crushing me in a tight embrace.

"That was you..." He whispered into my hair.

When I pulled away after a few moments, I looked right at him and said, "I'm going to save her."

And then, I pushed past him, and grabbed my jacket on the way out of the room. Without turning back, I made my way towards the exit of the church. I found Elmyra sitting in front of the large, oak doors. I stared down at her. Her eyes were red, blood-shot. She was always crying, cursed to love two wicked daughters. How much did she believe in her God now?

She scrambled to her feet when she saw me. She stroked my face with her single good hand, and placed a kiss on my forehead. A prayer was on her breath when she whispered over me:

"_Hear, Lord, the prayers we offer from contrite hearts.  
>Have pity on us as we acknowledge our sins.<br>Lead us back to the way of holiness.  
>Protect us now and always from the wounds of sin.<br>May we ever keep safe in all its fullness  
>the gift your love once gave us<br>and your mercy now restores._

_Amen."_

I hoped He heard her. I was planning on doing a lot of sinning tonight.

She stepped aside and watched me go, solemnly. If I had turned, I'd have seen the sign of the cross that she had undoubtedly made.

The cool night air nipped at me, the wind played with my hair. The moon hung bright and distant in the clear sky. I remembered where the Don's playground was, I'd had to pick Aerith up from there plenty of times back when she had worked for him.

"This'll be fun, taking on Sephiroth, the man who hasn't lost a single battle. Ever," Zack commented when he fell into step next to me.

"I'm getting Aerith, and getting out. Anyone who gets in my way will be dealt with. I don't care for the politics," I explained.

"Still, Sephiroth's going to be a formidable force. We don't really have a chance of defeating him, no matter how good of a martial artist you are. I mean, have you seen the guy's sword?" Zack fussed.

By the time we reached the heavy iron gates, we both could recognize the familiar, blonde haired man that was waiting for us. Cloud was leaning against the bricked wall that surrounded the church, watching us. His blue eyes glimmered in the pale moonlight. His arms were folded across his chest, and when he spotted us, he stood up straight.

Before I could ask him how he'd managed to be quicker than me, before Zack could launch into an argument that would convince him not to come along, Cloud butted in and answered Zack's previous concerns:

"That's where I'll be coming in."

-.-

**A/N: **_Aren't frequent updates nice? No excessive waiting, and cliffhangers aren't that evil because you know there will be more soon. :) Feedback, as per usual, is welcomed. I have kept the poll open, in case there's a sudden overwhelming surge of readers who would prefer longer updates at lengthier waits. :) Thanks for reading!_


	13. No God Here

**A/N: **_I just. Can't not update this. Especially since we're finally getting to the meat and potatoes. It's a good thing I promised short updates. This way, you guys don't have to wait until after June 5__th__ for me to write. I swear, once that exam is written, I'll be writing like a possessed woman. Again, very grateful to every single reviewer. You guys have the best comments, and I can't believe you've clung to this thing for as long as you have. Here's an update just for you guys who take the time to write me a comment every chapter! _

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Twelve:**

**No God Here**

Just like practice.

Their movements were easy to read, predictable.

Men were slow, stiff. I was quick like a cat. Moved like water. Fluid, lithe.

Zangan always said I danced with grace when I fought.

So, I danced. I danced around him. I grabbed him by the arm and flung him to the ground, his body crashing against the cement with a loud thump. Zack struggled with the other one next to me. His skills were rudimentary, not having taken that many classes. But he was a quick learner. Eventually, he had him backed into the wall where he continued to mash his face in until his body fell limp.

Once both guards lay knocked out at our feet, I stared up at the exuberant and colorful mansion: Don Corneo's mansion. My sister was in there.

I bolted for the gate, but Zack grabbed me by the arm, stopping me in my tracks. I turned to acknowledge him, and he stared me down.

"You'd be a fool to use the front gate and you know it. Cloud's risking his neck for us right now. Let's not blow our cover so soon," Zack stated.

My mouth became a thin line, but I knew he was right.

"How else can we get in?" I asked.

Zack grinned, and made a gesture to himself with his thumb, "Leave that to me,"

He led us all around to the back, using the darkness of the night to cast shadows over us in the case that someone was watching. As luck would have it, there was only a single one of the Don's thugs standing guard outside. Before I knew what was going on, Zack bounded out of the shadows and began walking towards him. I stayed back, watching.

The thug looked up, and upon spotting Zack, instinct had his hand touch the butt of the pistol hidden beneath his shirt and tucked into his pants. With Zack having virtually no weapons, I knew this could get ugly.

"Oh, hey now! Is that how the Don wants you treating his guests?" Zack cried out, raising his hands up defensively once spotting the gun.

"What the heck are you doing here, Fair?" the thug asked as he stalked over, pulling out the gun and pointing it at Zack's chest.

I couldn't see Zack's face, but I had a feeling he was sweating. He should have told me what he had been planning. I cursed under my breath and stalked around, still crouched below the walls. I needed to find a way of flanking him before he killed Zack.

"Isn't it obvious? I came to strike up a deal with the boss man. Honestly, just looking for some work." There was a playful tone to Zack's voice, but he was backing up, away from the man with the gun still pointed at his chest.

I edged around the corner and hoped to God that Zack was going to bring the guard close enough so that he couldn't spot me from the corner of his eye. I stayed low, even when I left my cover. I snuck up behind him and, in that moment, Zack couldn't help but have his eyes dart in my direction. I got to the guard before he understood what was happening and snapped his neck just as he pulled the trigger.

He fell to the floor. Zack stood still, watching me with wide eyes, disbelieving.

Afterwards, as he worked on the lock while I maintained watch for any guards who were alerted to the gunshot, he said, "I thought the plan was to not kill anyone we didn't have to kill."

"That was _your_ plan. My plan was to eliminate anyone who stood in my way by whatever means necessary. Besides, you left me no choice. If you had told me what you were planning, I probably wouldn't have had to kill him," I replied.

Zack gave me a devious grin and said, "Who said I was planning anything? That was more of a 'go with the flow' sort of plan."

I glared at him, but it didn't seem any less amusing to him that he could have been killed for being reckless.

"Got it!" Zack cried victoriously, once he broke open the lock.

I shushed him, and listened through the crack of the door. It was strange that the Don's alarms hadn't gone off, but I wasn't about to question our good fortune. When I heard nothing, I opened the door further and peeked inside. The corridor was empty of any of the Don's thugs. It was also strange, seeing as how the gun firing should have alerted them to the back entrance. Again, I didn't think it a good idea to question something that would make this escape plan easier. Nonetheless, it was suspicious...

Next to me, Zack whispered, "Where do you think he's got her?"

I bristled at the memory.

"One of two places: the basement, or his bedroom."

"How do you know that?" Zack asked me.

"Because, "I started, "he's either going to be torturing her in his basement or...raping her in his bedroom."

"Either way, we've got it hard. Both are heavily secured, and we still don't know where Sephiroth is, or Cloud for that matter," I concluded.

Cloud...

Please be okay.

_ "It's me he wants, I can keep him distracted long enough for you to extract Aerith safely."_

_ "How are you going to do that? He's going to kill you! All those other times, he had already come so close. Cloud, you can't go back to him!" Zack was not okay with the plan._

_ But Cloud had looked right at me when he said, "More of a reason to be quick." _

The question remained unanswered: who would go get Cloud if he fell into Sephiroth's clutches?

My fists clenched at my sides.

Without any further hesitation, I bolted into the mansion.

Too many lives were depending on me now.

Memories of _her _surfaced again, when I had been too late. Too weak.

_White hospital walls. Fresh, crisp, white linen, and the constant beeping of the monitors and machines keeping her alive. If one could call that state of being 'life'. _

_ In the corner, a little girl. Her face, empty and lifeless as they pulled the plugs. The tears only fell down her cheeks when they wheeled her mother away, gone for good. Gone forever..._

-.-

**A/N: **_Just about one thousand words. But here come all the action-y bits. Which is basically my excuse to have Tifa kick some serious butt and get a hint of the revenge she deserves. Besides, how can anyone write a Tifa centric anything without having her use some form of martial arts? :P Thanks for your patience, guys. One more week until consistent updates! _


	14. Saviour

**A/N: **_Ooh, lookie. I've got time to update! Here we go. :) _

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Thirteen:**

**Saviour**

I should have known something was up.

I should have seen it coming.

I was mentally slapping myself for it, realizing my mistake was going to cost me.

Zack was struggling with the men that had crowded him, and despite my best efforts, I was getting tired. They came at me with knives, guns, fists. The ones with the pistols were too afraid to start shooting yet, not wanting to injure their own men in the process as they danced with me. The one I was facing was trying to jab me with his knife, and I had to keep reading his movements while being keenly aware of the others who were trying to get at me. At one point, I'd dropped my guard, and someone had grabbed me from behind, keeping me in a chokehold. I struggled, taken by surprise, and the Don's grunt with the knife smiled at me maliciously, a bead of sweat slipping down the side of his head.

Just as he came at me, I lifted my legs up, using the man behind me for leverage, and kicked him in the chest as hard as I could. Then, I threw my head back, colliding my skull with the nose of the one who was holding on to me. My head spun, but I saw the knife and knocked the arm away, watching the silver blade skid across the marble tiles. They kept coming.

My breathing grew laboured.

It had been too long. I hadn't kept in practice.

I grabbed him by the arm, spun him around, and kicked him to the ground.

The sound of a gun going off.

I glanced at Zack, and saw that he was cornered. I had to get to the gunmen first. If I didn't, they'd take us out before I could even consider helping Zack. I ran to the knife that had been dropped onto the floor, picked it up and threw it like a dagger right at one of the men pointing his gun at Zack. It hit him in the head, and he fell backwards. The other of Don's men, noticing his fallen comrade, took aim at me.

I made a dash towards him as he fired. I felt a sharp, searing pain in my side, and knew that the bullet had torn through my flesh. I tackled him to the ground before he could release another round, using all of my weight against him. Once I had him pinned to the floor, the gun knocked out of his hand, I punched him hard in the face. Once, twice, three times. He stopped moving.

"Uh, Tifa? A little help here?" It was Zack's voice drawing my attention.

Quickly, I grabbed the gun from the floor and pointed it at the group of three men surrounding Zack with knives and brass knuckles.

"One more move, and I shoot all of you in the head," I threatened, my hands steady as I took aim.

They stopped, and turned to acknowledge me.

"Back away from him," I stated, motioning with the gun as I stood up.

They did as I asked.

"Now," I started, "Drop your weapons and kick them over."

They stared at me.

I cocked the gun, "Do it."

Zack had made his way next to me. The knives were dropped and kicked towards me. The men raised their hands up in surrender.

"Please, we don't mean nothin' by it. It's the Don! He said to do it. He said to do whatever it took to kill you!" One of them shouted.

"The knuckles, those too." I replied, not caring for their words.

Zack picked up a knife, admiring it. I got the brass knuckles. I would do more damage with them, anyways. I didn't really know how to use a knife, or anything pointy.

By the time we'd gotten away, and I'd knocked all three of the Don's men out with the butt of the gun and the knuckles, Zack found his voice, "Close call back there, huh? Good thing I've got me a jack of all trades. Martial arts, knives and guns? Are you a secret agent or something, Tifa?"

He chuckled.

"Actually," I interjected, "I have no idea how to use a gun. I was bluffing. I probably would have shot you instead of them, had they risked the chance. As for the knife, let's just say that Aerith was dart champion until she met me."

Zack paled, and said, "You're joking...right? That some kind of joke, Tifa?"

I shook my head no, and confirmed his fears, "Nope. Not a joke. Why would I joke about that?"

He muttered under his breath, "Couldn't you have at least lied about it, then?"

I figured it best to change the subject to a more impending danger.

"I knew it was strange that the alarm didn't go off. The lack of guards outside, the ambush inside," I commented, scanning the next hallway for any more thugs.

Zack stared at me, perplexed.

"They knew we were coming," I explained.

Zack's mouth became a tight line, and his brows furrowed. I didn't need to ask to know he was worried about Cloud. If they had known about us, then surely they'd known about our trump card. That would indicate that he was in serious trouble, once Sephiroth got a hold of him.

"We've got to find him. I can't let him go through with this, not after all those years we spent getting him away from that lunatic," Zack whispered against my hair.

_"No matter what, no matter what happens, you get Aerith out first. Don't worry about me until you've got **her**," Cloud had said, staring me right in the eyes, his face so close to mine as he gripped me by the shoulders._

_ He searched my face, before stating, "If you come for me first, you will lose her."_

I expected him to have been scared, like he had during that last encounter. But he was determined, brave even. It solidified my own resolve to get my sister out of there. What he had said had been all that I needed to hear to establish my priorities.

I shook my head, "We have to get Aerith first. We need Sephiroth preoccupied for as long as possible. Cloud knows what he's doing, he's dealt with that monster before. Besides, if we do encounter him, I'm not exactly in the greatest shape to be taking him on," I explained, clutching at the blood seeping through my clothes from the bullet wound that had grazed my side.

Zack's eyes widened, and panic settled into his usually calm features as he cried, "You're bleeding! Tifa, we need to get you to a hospital, you can't go on like that!"

I gripped Zack's arm and looked him dead in the eyes when I said, "We both know that I can't do that. He was a bad shot, I got lucky, but I'll be fine."

Zack didn't look like a believer. Instead, he looked a lot more skeptical.

Running a hand through his messy, jet black hair, he said, "You do realize, that somewhere in here, we've got Reno and the gang to deal with, too, right?"

I could feel the blood drain from my face at the mention of that.

I remembered Reno, the red haired man I'd met at the club. Even now, he still worried me, with his intense gaze and nonchalant attitude. But the pain from my wound was getting substantially more unbearable as time passed on, and I knew that it was only going to get worse. I had to move quicker, I had to find Aerith, and there was only one way I could do that effectively.

I looked at Zack, trying to mask the cringe from the shooting pain, and finalized my thoughts, "We need to split up."

-.-

**A/N: **_Basically, this is more Tifa kicking butt. And proving that, even though she's a tough cookie, she's not flawless. So yes, she's injured. And that will not be a good thing considering what she'll have to face in upcoming chapters. Cloud's still in some possible danger, no idea on where Aerith is, and Reno and the Turks are probably wandering around somewhere nearby. Things are going to get ugly from here on out, folks. Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews!_


	15. Blood Trail

**A/N: **_Update time! :)_

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Fourteen:**

**Blood Trail**

I knew Zack wouldn't like it. I knew he'd argue, and claim that sticking together was important, especially with my injury. But, I also knew that there was no way we'd both survive this thing, and get to Aerith and Cloud in time if we didn't split up. He knew it, too. He stopped putting up a fight when I reminded him that his best friend could be dead. I decided I'd take the Don's quarters while Zack would investigate the basement.

"Don't do anything stupid, like getting yourself killed," I instructed before we parted.

Zack took in a deep, shaky breath. It was the first time I looked at him and actually _saw_ him since they had taken Aerith. His sun kissed skin gleamed with the sheen of sweat, there were wrinkles on his face I'd never noticed before, lines around his eyes and mouth. He looked worn out and tired. His shoulders were slumped; his clothes were dirty and torn up where sharp blades had skimmed him. There was a cut on his cheek, drying up now as a scab. It was almost hard to remember that obnoxious smile and cocky attitude from when I'd first met Zack. I found myself smiling at the memory. My hand found his shoulder. He looked up at me, worried and concerned.

I didn't say anything, didn't think I needed to. He stared back at me, and it made me wonder what it was he saw. I was probably looking as white as a sheet of paper, sweating profusely because of the wound. I probably looked like death, hardly anything like all those rich, attractive women who'd once have hired him. I probably also terrified him, with my darkness. But if I did, he never showed it. Instead, he smiled back, albeit not as brightly as he normally would. It was forced, I knew, but that was fine.

"We'll get through this, Tifa. And if your ass isn't back here in half an hour, I'm coming to get you myself," He confirmed.

I nodded once, and just like that, he was gone.

Ignoring the shooting pain from my wound, I clamored down the empty corridor and said a silent prayer in hopes that no new enemies made an appearance. I had to conserve my energy for whatever awaited me at the end of all this. Especially if that something was the general himself.

I didn't actually know where the Don's room was, but I was going to bet it was up a staircase. I reached a grand room, and tucked myself behind a wall as I heard voices closing in.

"Think they were actually dumb enough to come?" A lady's voice. Young, couldn't have been much older than me.

"Tch. No one is worth Sephiroth's wrath. That man is psychotic. Gets a real kick out of torturing people. Even after they're dead, he continues to cut into them. Makes you wonder if he killed puppies and kittens as a child." A man's voice. He sounded familiar, but I couldn't place him.

"I don't get why the Don even puts up with his antics. Why work with him at all?" The lady questioned.

"Business, my dear. It all comes down to business. Sephiroth may be a blood thirsty lunatic, but he isn't stupid. Don's got his girl, and the general gets his...toy. Not to mention, if Zack does show up for his friend, the Don strikes up a deal that'll make him endless amounts of gil," the man explained.

I wasn't liking the sound of this.

"Seems like a bit of a waste of resources just to get a hold of...some girl and a boy prostitute, don't you think?" The lady badgered on.

"Everyone's got their quirks, I suppose. The Don happens to like blind girls, and Sephiroth has a thing for pretty boys who have a high pain tolerance, specifically ones who escaped him. Although the girl was sort of an unexpected bonus. Above all, the Don likes to make money. Everyone's happy when the Don makes money, and Zack is a good investment,"

A pause.

And then, in a small voice, the lady asked, "What do you think he's doing to him?"

"I'd rather not think about that at all. Now come on, enough slacking. Rude's gonna kill me for leaving him alone on watch. He hates hearing the Don make love grunts all night," the man said.

"Ewww! So why do I have to go and listen to it?"

"Because, all's fair in love and war, sweet cheeks. Duty calls, and you're on the clock," The man concluded.

The voices faded down the next corridor.

Urgency.

I needed to move quicker. I had to get to Cloud, I needed to find him before it was too late. But I couldn't do that until I was sure Aerith was okay, and this blasted injury wasn't helping me at all. I grimaced, and clutched at it harder. I was angry, seeing red, and the pain jolted me awake, cleared my vision. Everything was turning against me, stopping me in every which way.

I stumbled into the clearing, my breathing ragged and heavy. I treaded across the carpeted floor, still feeling the fresh warmth of my own blood oozing into my hand as my heart raced inside my chest. I knew I didn't have long. Just as I reached the end of the room, the male voice from before was behind me: "I was wonderin' who was leaving this trail of blood all over the Don's mansion and onto his expensive Persian rug."

Frozen in my tracks, I tried to calm myself down. I had been so engulfed in what I was doing, so focused on ignoring the wound and finding Aerith, that I had forgotten about the blood dribbling onto the floor from where I was clutching my side. I mentally cursed myself for being so scatter brained, and could almost hear Zangan's disappointment in my head. What a rookie mistake. For all the sneaking around I was doing, I was still leaving a fresh clue every way I went, leading directly to me.

Calm.

I had to remain calm.

If I had to fight, I needed to be focused, and not worrying about my mistakes, or the pain.

Slowly, I turned to face my accuser. At this point, I would have no choice but to fight him. I couldn't run. If I ran, my heart would pump faster, and the blood would spill in higher quantities. I'd knock myself out before he even got to me. All he'd have to do was wait.

When I turned, I was greeted with the familiar deep blue suit, the messy, untucked white dress shirt, and the crimson hair. I locked eyes with his bright, jade green orbs, and knew I was in serious trouble. He was grinning from ear to ear, reminding me of the fictional Cheshire cat from an old tale I'd read as a child. Still, he seemed a bit surprised when he saw me, once recognition set in.

"It's _you_," He exclaimed rather pointedly.

I recalled his name in my head, and sought a confirmation, "The name was Reno...right?"

-.-

**A/N: **_It's cute how everyone thinks all is out in the open. But hang on to your seats, folks. I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve. :) I used this chapter to provide some explanation into Sephiroth, Cloud, Zack and the Don's dynamics. It also explains a bit more about their motives. I even threw some hints about Aerith, too. But not to worry, if you've still got some burning questions, it's all going to be answered soon. We're getting closer and closer to a conclusion, guys! Thanks for reading :)_


	16. Shadow

**A/N: **_Appreciating the continued support despite the shorter chapters. Thanks to all who read and review! Here's another update. :)_

**TRIGGER WARNING: Hints of rape in this chapter. If it bothers people, do let me know, and I will adjust the rating accordingly.**

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Fifteen:**

**Shadow**

Reno looked even more surprised that I remembered his name. I clenched my fists, feeling the brass rings that sat at my knuckles. His eyes shifted to them for a second, and then back to my face. He had some sort of rod in his hand, slung over his shoulder. He tapped it lightly, as if to some imaginary rhythm playing in his head, smiling all the while.

"That doesn't look so good," he commented, staring at my injured side.

I didn't say anything.

"Don't take care of it soon, you'll wind up dead from all that blood loss," he continued.

"What do you care?" I seethed, not able to mask my agitation.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I really don't. I won't be the one cleaning it up, after all. I create dead bodies, not look after the carpet stains they leave behind."

"Then, let's get this over with," I said, getting into a fighting stance, fists raised and ready.

Reno raised his hands up in defense, "Woah, woah. Why'd you wanna fight me so bad?"

I was getting sick of his mind games, and figured my best chance was not giving into them. I remained silent.

He sighed, exasperated. "Listen, sweet cheeks. I don't know who you are, or what you're doing here. Can't see why Zack would bring you along for this. But, I guess I should have figured Cloud lied about you. Don't look much like the whoring type, even though you are pretty damn cute," Reno said, eyes roaming the entire length of my body.

"You took _my_ sister," I spat venomously, anger consuming me.

"Did I? Blind girl's your sister? Well, isn't that an interesting turn of events? You'll have to forgive me, but there isn't exactly any sort of striking resemblance between the two of you," Reno replied, chuckling.

"Her name is Aerith, not blind girl," I corrected him.

He smirked, obnoxious.

"She's in the Don's room right now. Just up ahead. Not so sure you want to go in there, might not be a pretty sight," Reno commented, indicating the hallway that I had been heading towards previously.

Then, he turned his back, and started to walk away from me, the silver rod still dancing against his shoulder.

"You're letting me go?" I asked, surprised and skeptical.

He paused, and then half turned when he said, "Job is to protect the Don's investments. As far as I'm concerned, _Aerith_ isn't an investment. So, my quarrel isn't with you, or your sister. I could care less, and if anything, you'd be doing Elena a favor by putting a stop to all that noise the Don gets up to when he's hot and heavy."

I snarled. The idea of the Don's disgusting body anywhere near Aerith made me nauseous and angry. I had to get to her, and soon.

"For a highly intense security team, you sure are weak tea," I said, relaxing my posture.

Reno chuckled in response, and said, "Don's always loose on security when the general's in the building."

What did that mean?

"Why's that?" I asked, voicing my thoughts and not entirely expecting an actual response.

Reno's grin returned, but all he said to me before he disappeared down the hall was, "What do you think, sweet cheeks?"

All in all, it had been a fight I'd been happy to avoid. I needed to conserve my energy. I still needed to take out the Don, and then there was the matter of dealing with Sephiroth. Either way, the exchange with Reno left me reeling. It didn't make any sense that he would simply allow me to wander freely in the mansion. He must have thought I wouldn't go after Cloud and Zack; the _investments_.

After all, who cares about a whore?

I braced myself at the thought; perhaps it wasn't over with the redhead.

When I managed to reach the Don's quarters, I saw a shorter, fair haired female standing guard outside the doors, looking completely irritable and disgusted. Her arms were folded across her chest, and she tapped her foot nervously against the marble floor. She was dressed in a similar attire that Reno was, only hers was tucked in, ironed, and professional, whereas Reno was far more lazy with his appearance.

She was also incredibly more youthful. Couldn't have been any older than me. I didn't know what to expect when I reached her, so I prepared myself for a possible fight. Aerith was in that room behind her, and I had to get to her, no matter the cost.

When she saw me, she regarded me with cool, blue eyes. She sized me up, lingering on my flesh wound for a moment longer than she ought to. She seemed unamused when she met my gaze.

"You must be the rebel Reno radioed in about. Said somethin' about the flower chick being your sister, and you her hero," She commented, sarcasm evident in her voice.

I was getting impatient, and I could hear some unfriendly noises coming from behind the walls the woman was guarding.

Gritting my teeth, I snapped, "Are you going to get out of my way, or am I going to have to physically remove you?"

She narrowed her eyes at me, not happy with my attitude, but also knowing her orders were to stand down. I only realized that because her gun was in her hand, and she'd had plenty of opportunity to shoot me dead if she had wanted it. Judging by the way she held back, Reno must have told her to let me through. After a brief staring contest, she rolled her eyes and kissed her teeth, moving away from the door.

"Tch. Whatever. As long as I don't have to listen to _that _for the rest of the night," She complained, giving me access to the room.

Once we stopped talking, and I got closer to the doors, I knew what _that_ was. There were some hideous grunting noises coming from inside the room, and I was most certain they weren't Aerith's. He sounded piggish, like a hog digging into its meal. It was making me sick to my stomach. More of a reason to hurry up.

Slowly and quietly, I turned the handle of the single door with caution. I was greeted with the darkness of what appeared to be the Don's office. Soft moonlight filtered in through the large windows, and cast shadows on the chairs and desk. Off to the side, a door was left slightly ajar, and light peeked through. The source of the noise was clearly coming from there.

Quiet.

Gentle.

I moved softly against the wooden floorboards, until I could peek inside the other room.

What I saw was enough to make me want to turn and run out. The bed squeaked, and moved with the Don's weight as he thrust into my sister's naked and bleeding body. I couldn't see her, exactly. She was obscured mostly by the Don's exposed, sweaty back. But I didn't need to see much to know that red was not the color of the filthy old man's sheets.

He was making heavy grunting noises, while Aerith remained silent, unmoving.

Flashes of red.

On the carpet.

On my hands.

I stared down at my palms, bigger now and not a child.

Caked, dried beneath my fingernails. It was still there, never going away.

My clothes were stained, the room reeked of it. If I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue, I thought I could taste the metal of it, the iron.

It wasn't any different here.

Only, there were no shadows this time. No shadows creeping along the walls. Now, I was immersed in darkness.

When I drew up on him, behind him, it was then that I knew.

_I_ was the shadow.

-.-

**A/N: **_I realize that the fic is getting extremely dark here, and quite gruesome and disturbing. I'd always planned for it to be this way, but figured I'd adjust the rating later on. Let me know if any of you feel I need to do this, and it shall be done. Thank you for reading! Feedback, as usual, is appreciated. :)_


	17. Oh, Sister

**A/N: **_Just taking the time to thank everyone who's been reading and reviewing. Appreciating your input, and certainly taking it into consideration. :)_

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Sixteen:**

**Oh, Sister**

_She'd been in that house for hours. Still, neither body moved. She'd curled up against the woman's breast, listening to the steady beat of her heart, the only reminder that she was still alive. Only trapped inside. _

_ It was difficult to leave, even when the sirens were sounding, getting closer. She tried again, hopelessly, to wake her. When none of it worked, she knew she had to get going, if only until the ShinRa police were gone. _

_ The man they'd come looking for was dead. Before the fight, he'd been scheduled for a very important job in regards to the study of mako and its enhancing properties. When he hadn't shown up, when he didn't answer any of the phones, it became a top priority to investigate. It had only been a matter of time, for someone as important as professor Hojo. Surely, none of them cared for her mother's life._

_ Tifa had gotten out via the back door, taken cover in a nearby alleyway right behind a dumpster. She'd sat down on the ground, tucking her skirts underneath her, and huddling her knees to her chest. The blood had dried to a rusty colour, but it remained on her skin and clothes nonetheless. Across the street, she could hear the cars driving quickly past. Tifa Lockhart waited for what was her imminent doom. They'd find her, because they always found the monster. They'd take her away, and do unspeakable things to her for the evil she'd committed. _

_ That is, if the shadows didn't get to her first. She shivered and buried her head into her arms hopelessly. _

_ After a moment or two, she'd heard a noise close by. It was the sound of the garbage being moved around. Carefully, she'd peeked her head out, thinking she'd see the garbage man clearing out the trash. Instead, she saw __**her**__. _

_ A little girl, like her. She was dressed in a soft green and white dress, but it was covered with stains and dirt. Her light brown hair was tied up into a tight little braid that fell down her back, swinging with her movements. She was digging into a garbage bag that she'd ripped into with her little fingers. She wasn't really looking at the bag, and was using her hands to feel around instead. She would examine an item using touch, feeling it before throwing it aside. Tifa watched her, curious. Then, emerald green eyes landed on her. Stricken, Tifa swiftly moved back behind the large, grey dumpster._

_ The fiddling around in the garbage had stopped then. Tifa tried to steady her breathing._

_ Footsteps, little ones, hesitant, and slow, but drawing nearer._

_ "Who's there?" Her voice, soft yet scared._

_ Tifa didn't reply. _

_ Finally, she stood before her, bearing a small, silver rod in her hand. It was almost as tall as her. She brandished it before her like a weapon. When Tifa didn't move, she held it aside and her brows furrowed. The girl then leaned forward, curious. Her eyes were on Tifa, but somehow, she didn't think that she could fully see her._

_ "You smell like blood," she whispered. _

_ Tifa didn't move and only watched her._

_ At the sound of sirens coming past, the green eyed girl's head snapped to the street while Tifa tucked away her face, trying to drown out the sound. _

_ As soon as they were gone, Tifa felt a hand on hers, grabbing and pulling._

_ "Come on, we have to go," she explained as she forced her to her feet._

_ Tifa hesitated, but the girl's grip was strong. _

_ "Let's go! I know someplace we can hide, so they don't find us," she insisted._

_ Tifa's thoughts lingered on her mother and she stared off into the general direction of her old home. _

_ "If we don't hurry, they'll catch you, and Sister Elmyra says you don't want ShinRa to catch you. They do awful things to your brain," she continued._

_ Tifa locked eyes with her, and before she fully understood what she was doing, she allowed herself to be dragged away by the stranger. The little girl used the rod to guide her, moving as quick as she could. Tifa understood that she was blind. She never did let go of her hand, though. The farther away they got from Tifa's home, the farther away the sirens sounded. They didn't slow to an even pace until they were deep into the slums, no longer hearing any patrol cars. _

_ "My name's Aerith, by the way. What's yours?" The girl asked, manoeuvring around piles of garbage and filth. _

_ Tifa didn't speak. _

_ "Oh, so you're a mute? That's okay. If you can't tell, I've lost most of my vision. Looks like we have something in common," she explained, climbing up a mountain of debris._

_ Tifa followed her, still silent. Aerith may not have noticed, but Tifa didn't miss the strange looks she'd been receiving from the folks who dwelled in the slums. No doubt her appearance was unsettling._

_ Aerith guided Tifa into secret little alleys, away from most people milling about. They entered sector five of the slums and would only run into stray cats, sewer rats, and men who were too drunk or tired to pay any attention to either of them. _

_ After much zigzagging, they finally entered a clearing, and Tifa saw where Aerith had been taking her. The church was marvelous, standing high in all its glory. It was slightly worn down, like everything in the slums was, but the sunlight made the cross shine and it was beautiful. As they made the final stretch, Aerith bounded into a small sprint, pulling Tifa with her._

_ She knocked on the large oaken doors when she reached them, her small fist barely making much impact or sound against the wood. When Tifa looked at her, Aerith spared her a small smile._

_ "You'll like it here. Sister Elmyra is really nice. She'll help keep you safe," Aerith said._

_ It only took a moment before one of the doors creaked open, revealing a tall and slender woman dressed in the attire of a nun. Upon sighting Aerith, her eyes widened and she dropped to her height, embracing her tightly against her breast._

_ "Aerith! You came home! At last. I thought that...I thought you'd never..." The woman looked to be on the verge of tears as her hands smoothed the long, chestnut brown hair of Aerith's head. _

_ Tifa shuffled her feet, feeling extremely out of place._

_ The woman pulled back, staring into Aerith's face, her fingers wiping at the soot that coated her pale cheeks. _

_ "Look at you," she started with a gentle smile, "You're filthy, and cold, and probably hungry. Why don't we get you inside, and take care of all that, hmm?" _

_ In response, Aerith turned to stare at Tifa. It was only then that the Sister actually paid attention to her. She followed Aerith's gaze, and upon taking in Tifa's appearance, looked back at Aerith with a grim expression._

_ She opened her mouth to speak, but Aerith spoke up first, "We have to help her, Sister Elmyra. If everything you say is true about God, then He'd want you to help her, too."_

_ There was a look to Aerith's expression that proved she was a child with a troubled faith. Sister Elmyra closed her mouth, tight lipped all of a sudden, unsure of how to respond to the child. Then, with a single pat on Aerith's head, the Sister stood up, nodded, and turned to acknowledge Tifa._

_ "Come now, child. We've got to get you cleaned up," Sister Elmyra opened the door wide, inviting Tifa inside the church._

_ When she didn't move, it was Aerith who grabbed her by the hand again, and led her inside._

_ "We'll take a bath first, then we can eat, and I guess I can lend you some of my clothes for now. Until you get your own, anyways," Aerith chirped excitedly, guiding Tifa down the hallway._

_ Tifa spared one last look at Sister Elmyra's face as she stood by the door, watching them. She'd brought her hand to her mouth as if to hide her quivering lips. Her eyebrows were knitted with worry, and her eyes glittered with unshed tears. Still, she'd be gentle with her, she would always be gentle, even though she was distant and cool when she'd chopped off all of Tifa's hair in the bath. There was barely anything left of her once beautiful chocolate tresses when she was done. But Sister Elmyra couldn't even meet her eyes when she'd stripped her out of her clothes, and turned on the tap. She only saw her task, and worked diligently at it. _

_ She didn't flinch when she scrubbed at the dried blood on her face, underneath her fingernails, in-between the creases of her palms. She did note the bruises and the puncture wounds that covered her body, running her fingers over them delicately, as if to better understand where they'd come from. Tifa didn't move, she only stared at the swirls of pink in the dirty bathwater, mingling with the soap suds. _

_ Then, with wet, slippery fingers, Sister Elmyra gripped Tifa's small chin and looked her dead in the eyes, searching her face for the first time since she'd met her._

_ "You won't become like him," she stated in a serious and stern tone._

_ Tifa didn't dare look away._

_ "You won't become like him, because God has a different plan for you. That's why you're here, that's why she found you. Everything can be forgiven, if you seek it desperately enough. __**Everything**__," she concluded. _

-.-

My world had changed then. I'd become a different person, someone moulded into something I wasn't; good.

I thought that, maybe if I believed in it as much as Sister Elmyra did, then it would be true, but deep down, I knew I wasn't good. I never would be, bless Sister Elmyra's soul. She'd been so desperate, so determined to prove it otherwise.

She'd had so much faith in me.

It was all for nought however, because the evil is there, implanted by Hojo himself. Never gone, never going away, no matter what I did. No matter whom I pretended to be. No matter the lies we told to cover up the truth.

I know it because I'm sitting on top of the Don's body, and my fist continues to meet his face. Blood sprays everywhere, I've mutilated him beyond recognition and still I don't stop. It takes a moment for me to realize that the wet tracks against my cheeks are from my own tears. It takes me some time to realize that the muffled cries are coming from me, every time the brass knuckles meet his now mashed in skull.

_Hear, Lord, the prayers we offer from contrite hearts._

My arm moves of its own volition. Over and over and over and over and over.

_Have pity on us as we acknowledge our sins._

He had tried to fight me off, tried to loosen my grip when I'd attacked him, but I was too strong for him, like he knew I would be. Without his guards, without anyone to help him, the Don was truly a pathetic little worm. A pathetic little worm that didn't deserve to live, didn't deserve to waste the air around him. I was going to put an end to that.

_Lead us back to the way of holiness._

Once I'd knocked him back, forced his arms away from gripping my wrists, I saw fear in his eyes. True fear, and it only spurred me on further. My fist was in his face. Once, twice. He cried. He screamed, but it was muffled with the next punch.

_Protect us now and always from the wounds of sin._

He moved, he wriggled, and he tried to break free so desperately. I kept him where he was, using all of my body weight to ensure it. He tossed his head in an effort to avoid the hits I dealt him. Of course, it didn't work. He tried to get up on numerous occasions. That didn't work, either. So he scratched at me, clawed, drawing blood. I never did stop.

_May we ever keep safe in all its fullness..._

A few more and the Don ceased to make any noise. The fighting stopped. Hands fell away limply against my legs, onto the floor. The only noise was the crunching from the brass knuckles smashing into bone.

_...the gift your love once gave us..._

He was dead. He was dead and never coming back. He'd never hurt Aerith, or any other girl ever again. He'd set no more fires to churches, ruin no more lives, separate no more sisters and daughters and mothers. I'd seen to that.

_...and your mercy now restores._

It was Aerith's moan that snapped me out of it. I looked up and locked eyes with her as she lay on the bed. He'd gagged her, tied her up. She was covered in her own blood from where he'd cut into her. Crimson stained the once white linen around her. She watched me, fresh, hot tears spilling down her cheeks. I was overcome with a cold sweat as I looked down at what I'd done. My hands shook, covered in more than just the Don's blood.

Aerith moaned again from beneath the gag, soft sobs wracking her body.

I stood up on legs that did not feel like my own.

A prayer hadn't stopped me from sinning tonight.

A prayer wouldn't stop me from sinning again.

And nothing, no God, could save my soul now.

_Amen..._

_-.-_

**A/N: **_This chapter was made a bit longer, if only because if I'd kept it to the 1000 word limit, it would have seemed more like a filler chapter and less complete. The entire point of the flashback is to merge it with what Tifa is doing in that moment. It also provides a nice little tie-in as to why Tifa really is affected by Aerith's rape and mutilation. I dropped some clues as to Tifa's murder streak. Wonder if anyone can pick up on it. ;D Anyways, thanks for reading and, as usual, feedback is welcomed. _


	18. Cleanse

**A/N: **_I've been replying to every review as I can. If by chance, I've missed you, I would like to say that I appreciate the feedback and the support I'm getting to write this! Thank you. Also, since we're drawing up close to the very end and the ultimate plot revelation, I'm making this a touch longer than usual as to avoid boring filler chapters. Enjoy. :)_

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Seventeen:**

**Cleanse**

It had taken me some time to pull myself together and free Aerith from her bindings. My breathing was rapid and causing my chest to heave, regardless of how hard I tried to relax. I was very much aware of the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears. Hands didn't feel like my own. Legs moved of their own will. I was an observer, a guest in my own body. Only Aerith's desperate whimpers seemed to ground me again, bringing me back to reality. I had a job to do. I'd only completed part of it.

I crawled over Aerith's naked, bloodied body, carefully, gently, slowly. Her eyes darted about maddeningly. Nobody was home. I pursed my lips, shushed her softly. My blood-soaked fingers came to grip her chin, trying to bring her focus to me. She flinched at the touch, fought me. Her hands clutched around the cloth tying her to the bedpost, her teeth biting down on the gag. A trail of dried crimson marked the pale flesh of her wrists and arms. She'd fought him, fought him all she could. It made me want to smile, kiss her all over for it. She had always been strong, never going down without a fight.

The gag in her mouth muffled her sad, lonely, tormented sighs, but it still hurt me to hear them.

I knew that, given the chance, I'd have done it again.

All over again, if I had to. The thought scared me.

I came up over her, my fingers stroking her matted hair. She calmed slightly. Her breathing slowed its pace, and she closed her eyes, taking in my scent.

I started to undo the knots that held her to the bed frame, and then removed the gag. Green eyes flickered open beneath the thick fringe of dark lashes. She stared at me, her warm breath brushing the long strands of my hair. Her lips were dry, her eyes bloodshot from crying, her cheeks pale and stained with sweat and the salt from her tears. Her hands fell limply at her sides, her thin ankles reddened and marked by the rope that had been wound against her skin. She moved forward all the same.

Her lip quivered, and her hands searched, fingers grasping for something, anything. They came up to my jacket, shaking, weak, unsteady. When they met the cloth, she squeezed, desperate and moaning as she suffocated her body against mine. I held her tightly, pressed her against me, and cooed softly to her the whole time while running hands through her lovely hair. I kissed her forehead, and fought back the tears I hadn't felt. She shook against me, sobs wracking her delicate frame.

I didn't dare move, didn't dream of leaving her until she was good and ready.

When she finally stilled against me after what felt like forever, and her breathing became regular, I knew it was time.

She pulled away first, looking at me. I noticed the bruises then, noticed the cut on her lip from the hits he'd given her, the dried line of red moving down her chin where it dripped. He had wanted to ugly her up some before he had finished with her. The man had been as sick and twisted as Sephiroth. It was no wonder they had reached an agreement: the both of them had similar tastes. The thought brought Cloud to the forefront of my mind.

I clambered off of the bed, and picked up Aerith's dress from the floor, knowing that we needed to move. It was ripped, in places that only proved he'd enjoyed the chase, liked how she'd struggled. I remembered the way he'd leered at me in the club, and it sent shivers down my spine. Aerith remained still when I glanced back at her, staring at nothing. I pulled the flimsy material over her head, moved her arm through one of the straps. The other had been broken. I swung off my jacket, and wrapped it over her dainty shoulders for decency's sake. When she still didn't move, I locked eyes with her.

I broke the silence at last, but I could still hear the sound of his skull crushing inwards, bouncing off the walls in an echo, constantly in the background. "We've got to get you out of here, now."

Aerith laced her fingers in her lap, unmoving. I tugged at her, putting an arm beneath hers to support her while I managed to pull her body weight off of the bed. Her bare feet dangled over the edge, and she stared at the fresh pool of blood still seeping from where I'd opened the Don's head.

She wouldn't look at him, wouldn't attempt it. As far as she was concerned, he wasn't even in the room. He wasn't lying naked and dead and in a pool of his own blood. She refused to even acknowledge it, and so, avoided that corner of the room with every fibre of her being.

I helped her manage to her feet, watching as she stood on wobbly legs. I let her lean on me for balance when she became aware of her unsteady gait. Her nails dug into the skin of my arm. They were cold, like ice.

Slowly, together, we moved out of the Don's quarters, bathed in darkness. When we reached the doors, I turned the knob, and opened the heavy door to a flood of bright light.

And to the sound of a gun cocking.

"Don't even think about taking another step, you psycho!"

As the door creaked open, I found myself staring into the barrel of a gun. Elena's gun, to be specific. I felt Aerith draw in closer to me, clinging.

Angry, I furrowed my brows and glared at the petite, blonde woman. If it wasn't for her gun, I didn't think she'd be so hard to take out, not even with my injury. She looked shaky, sweat slipping down the side of her forehead.

I tested her, took a step forward out of the room.

She shifted the gun. "I won't repeat myself! Stay back!"

"I've got what I came for. Now, just let us go on our way," I tried to explain calmly, masking the rage I was consumed with.

Elena shook her head, short blonde bob moving against her shoulders. "I don't think so! You don't just..._kill_ the Don and get to walk out, scot-free! There're repercussions for what you've done here tonight!"

It occurred to me then, hit me suddenly, taking me off guard.

She'd seen me. She had to, how else did she know I'd killed the Don?

And what a sight she must have seen.

It was there, evident from the cold fear in her eyes. In the way her hand shook as she took aim. Her breathing was laboured, and if I was quiet enough, I was certain I'd hear her heart hammering away.

She was terrified of me.

I almost wanted to laugh at the irony of it.

_You and me both_, I thought.

A crackle from her communicator, then Reno's voice: "Elena? Elena! What the hell is going on up there?"

Her eyes never left me, even when her fingers found their way to the little walkie-talkie clipped to her suit pants.

Reno's voice continued to buzz over.

"Elena, damn it! Do you think these things are a fashion statement or somethin'?! Answer me!"

She clicked a button, and breathed into it, still watching me, still pointing her gun at my chest.

"I can hear you, Reno...I'm fine. But I'm going to need backup. How could you let..._something_ like her get in here? _How_?!" There was the sound of her youth displayed in her voice for the first time.

But all I could focus on was how she'd described me: she had called me a thing.

Reno's end buzzed to life in response. "What? The hell are you on about, woman? Backup for what? Look, this isn't time for any of your stupid payback pranks, okay? Boss man is in the building, and he's heading your way, so simmer down and act professional!"

I felt Aerith tense up next to me, felt her fingers dig into my flesh hard enough to leave marks.

She stared straight ahead, behind Elena. A tall figure of a man walked towards us. He was dressed like the others: blue suit, professional. He appeared sharper than the others, older. The look in his dark eyes suggested a lifetime of experience. He was slim, attractive even, but in a highly dangerous way. He wore his long, sable coloured hair slicked back, letting it fall down to his broad shoulders. He came to stand next to Elena, wearing no expression whatsoever as he analyzed us with almond shaped eyes.

The younger girl nearly jumped out of her skin at his presence, forgetting about me and her gun for the time being.

"Ts-Tseng!" She cried, surprised.

It took a moment to realize that it wasn't me his dark, penetrating eyes were on. I glanced at Aerith, and noted how her mouth had become a tight line.

A flicker of emotion passed on his stoic face.

Pain?

Love?

Longing?

Lust?

All of those things and more?

It was gone before I could understand it any better. Memories of the name played in my head.

Tseng.

_Tseng_.

Aerith had mentioned him before, when she'd still been working for the Don. Though I couldn't, for my life, recall the story.

He then brushed Elena's gun arm, and lowered it so that she pointed it at the ground. She stared up at him, admiration and wonder etched into her youthful features.

"Tifa Lockhart. To think, you've been hiding under our noses all this time," he started, watching me.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know this man. I did know that I had angered many when I'd killed the 'brilliant' scientist stepfather of mine. It wouldn't have surprised me if Hojo had worked closely with the criminals of the slums. He had been one himself, after all. Only thinly veiled. I was the one who had seen what monster lurked behind the image. Me, and my mother.

"Burned that church just to weed you out, and still, like a cockroach, you escaped," he continued, cold and calculating.

Anger, like a poison, had me forgetting about my injury, forgetting the pain. I wanted to hurt this man, hurt him badly for what he'd done, for the innocents he had killed in that fire so many years ago.

His jaw locked. "Destroying lives that are of far more significance than your own meager existence, and then hiding behind the skirts of nuns and little girls."

His hand slipped beneath his jacket, to his belt, where I knew he was petting the butt of the gun in his holster. "I should kill you right now, while I have the chance."

My heart lurched. I couldn't die, wasn't ready to. I had to get Aerith out, had to get to Cloud. And Zack. I had no idea what had even become of him.

Tseng's hand moved away, revealing no gun in sight.

"Of course, as you know, I won't. However, I will be taking you in," he spared a glance at Aerith before continuing, "but I'm not unfair. You come with me peacefully, and Aerith walks free."

An ultimatum. I could already feel her protests next to me, could already hear the unspoken words.

_Don't do it, don't you dare think of doing it_, she told me.

I stiffened.

I was strong, I knew that. But not strong enough to dodge bullets. I'd tried that once before, and walked away injured. Perhaps I could have handled Elena, but something told me that I'd need to be free of any wounds to stand a chance against the combined force of both of them. I wasn't going to get a better deal. Besides, maybe it was time I stopped doing all the hiding. Stopped running. Stopped pretending.

I stepped forward, mind made up.

"Aerith will be taken to the nearest hospital, you pay the bill. Then, she's escorted home safely, no one follows. You stay away from the church forever, all of you, for good. You stay away from all the sisters, every single one of your hired goons included," I demanded, masking my fear behind a facade.

"Tifa..." Aerith's voice. Hoarse, rasping. She'd been screaming, could barely speak, but I didn't miss the plea in her tone.

I must have said something that amused the man, for the corner of his mouth twitched.

"I'll see to her personally, you have my word," He promised.

I nodded curtly.

Tseng walked towards me, grabbed me by the arm, roughly. His grip was strong, confident.

Aerith still stood next to me, and she surprised us both when she leaned towards Tseng. Her hand, still marred by crimson flakes, started to explore the planes of his face. It seemed to shock him, her sudden tender gesture. It was all she needed; she slapped him.

The sound was loud, echoing. The force of it had jerked his head.

"How dare you?!" She cried, as loud as she could with her hoarse voice.

He touched the spot she'd hit him, letting go of my arm in the process.

Elena jerked her gun at us, this time, marking Aerith as her target. It didn't seem to affect my sister.

"After everything, after what you've seen, after what you know, you still chose this path?!" Aerith lectured, fresh tears shining in her eyes.

Tseng couldn't bring himself to look at her. He was staring at the floor, lost, still touching his marked cheek where her hand had left an imprint.

In anger, Aerith ripped off my jacket from her body, throwing it to the ground and revealing the damage the Don had done to her body, to her torn dress. The marks, the bruises, the cuts, the blood. So much blood. They were all a lot uglier in the light.

"Look at what he's done to me! Look at me! Look, damn you, _look_!" She grabbed his face by the chin, forcing his eyes to meet hers.

The tears slipped down her cheeks, and my heart ached.

"_This_," she indicated herself, "This is what you've done, what you've helped to do!"

He shook his head, whispered, "No, not me,"

"Yes! _You_! Maybe it wasn't by your hand, but you're still a part of this, and it may as well _have _been you!" Aerith accused, jabbing a finger into his chest for emphasis.

"You told me once, that you wanted to change, become a better man. Well, here's your chance, staring you right in the face. Here's the opportunity to do something for me, something good," Aerith bargained, trying to recuperate from her breakdown.

He stared at her, waiting.

She came to my side, looped her arm through mine.

"Let me keep my family," she said, quite simply.

There was a drawn out period of silence then, and I recognized the look on Tseng's face to be that of defeat. Without another moment's hesitation, Aerith was the one pulling me away, Elena's gun still trained on us.

"Sir!" The young girl shouted, not losing sight of us as we brushed past her boss.

"Orders, sir?!" She shouted again, desperate.

Tseng didn't move, didn't say anything more.

Only when we reached the bottom of the stairs did it become apparent the orders didn't come, nor would they ever.

For the second time, Aerith had saved _my _life.

-.-

**A/N: **_I think I've mentioned how much I love writing Aerith in this, and that's because I really just love her to bits. She's a powerhouse of a woman, and I've worked hard to display that in this. She is, essentially, Tifa's rock. Even after such a traumatizing event, she finds this strength to move forward, to protect what she holds dear. To me, this chapter was important to showcase that significant strength of hers. It's also important to note her troubled past, and her entanglement with Tseng and his crew. To those who just want to get to the action bit with Sephiroth, hang on tight, it's just around the corner. Expect the next chapter to contain the confrontation this has all been building up to. :)_


	19. Long Way Down

**A/N: **_Thank you to everyone for their supportive comments and reviews! No such thing as a review too long, and I love reading what you guys think. :) Lets me know if I'm doing it right. Without further ado, here's the next chapter._

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Eighteen:**

**Long Way Down**

"I thought they'd come looking for you again," Aerith started to explain.

She looked straight ahead, clinging to me for balance and guidance, as we attempted to leave the mansion. Her expression was void of any feeling, her eyes empty. "I'd been gathering some flowers for the upcoming sermon. Sister Elmyra-...mother, was waiting for me outside St. Joe's. They'd found her first. By the time I'd gotten there, they'd already taken off parts of her fingers, while she refused to answer their questions."

She pinched my arm when she said, "She thought she was protecting _you_."

Guilt washed over me, consumed me. I remembered how Elmyra looked before I had left the convent, how desperate she'd been after they'd taken Aerith. Up until then, I'd always assumed I was never her favorite, and I had been okay with that. It only did seem fair. Aerith wasn't a hopeless cause, like I was. Yet, the guilt ate away at me, regardless. I realized what she'd sacrificed for my safety, what she had been willing to sacrifice, had Aerith not gotten there in time. The tears that stung were all too real, as I concluded that I would most likely never see her again. I tried not to look at my sister, for fear of them spilling.

Aerith took my silence as her cue to continue. "I knew that...I knew that _he'd_ still want me. So, I bargained with them for mother's life. Once I reminded them of who I was, they were easily appeased. Mother had put up a fight, and I heard them kicking her down...how is she?"

She looked to me then, suddenly concerned, scared even. I found it interesting how she couldn't even say his name anymore. As if the very words instilled a horrible fear in her.

I shook my head, lied, "She's fine, minus a few fingers..."

Aerith sighed, and I couldn't tell if it was out of relief or frustration.

"_You're_ not fine. Someone cut you, I can smell the blood..." she commented.

I recalled the way she'd sniffed at me that day, when she'd first found me. She'd told me something similar then, too.

"Sure it isn't your own?" I asked, shifting the attention back to her.

She wrinkled her nose at me, and said, "I'm not stupid, Tifa. You've been limping since we left the room."

She'd always been so damn observant. I suppose it was the whole heightening of every other sense due to her lack of vision.

Her voice took on a cool edge when she questioned me; "Are you lying to me just so I won't object when you tell me you have to go find Cloud?"

She must have felt me stiffen, because she stopped walking and turned her eyes on me. I didn't say anything. I couldn't even meet her gaze. I knew I was in no condition to take on the general. I knew that if I went, it was likely that I wouldn't be coming back. At least, not if all the stories were true about the silver haired warrior, and judging from Cloud's experiences with him, I was pretty convinced. Something told me he wouldn't appreciate it if I just asked him to spare Cloud's life kindly, and took his playmate away from him forever.

Aerith folded her arms over her chest, and tilted her head to the side.

"I'm going to worry, regardless, so don't lie to me. Not ever," she scolded me.

I stared at the floor sheepishly, like a child who'd been caught misbehaving.

And then her voice, sweeter, "But I'm not going to stop you, or tell you not to go."

Her hands found mine, and she cradled them against her cheek, closing her eyes.

"Looks like I'll have to share you now," she smiled, but there were tears pooling against her long lashes.

I leaned my forehead against hers, and whispered, "I am always going to be your sister, and no one else's."

She sniffled, but there was a shy giggle that left her throat, and I was just glad that not even the Don could take that part of her away. Even after everything, Aerith was still able to laugh, and I figured out that maybe there was something good to come of my sins yet.

"You broke a cardinal rule, Tifa. You started to get too personal with your charges. I don't think you'll be allowed to return to work after this is over," Aerith said, not sounding as disappointed as she should have been.

Maybe it was just her way of convincing herself that I'd still make it out alive, that I'd still have some kind of punishment awaiting me after I'd rescued Cloud and Zack.

I smiled, and replied, "Since we're on the topic of repercussions for my sins, I guess I should go ahead and tell you that I slept with Zack."

Aerith's jaw dropped, and she stared at me incredulously. I couldn't help but laugh at her expression.

"How dare you keep that from me?!" She cried, punching my arm playfully.

I shrugged, "It sort of just...happened."

"Well then, missy. Looks like I'll be accompanying _you_ to your very first STD check-up appointment, where you will be explaining every little detail about that tryst!" Aerith teased.

I didn't know how she did it. Didn't know how she could still be okay, even after what she'd been through, everything she'd seen. I had been a blight in her life, tainting her every which way. She'd almost lost her adoptive mother because of me, her home had been burned to the ground, she'd been raped near death twice, and the girl still could joke like it hadn't even happened. I wasn't foolish enough to believe she was healed, or walking away completely unscathed, though. Beneath the laughter and the smiles, there was something broken, and I wasn't sure if even time was going to mend it.

Maybe, the very first blessing she would have in this life, would be having me out of the picture for good. It could be the very first step in the direction of happiness for her and Sister Elmyra.

I fought back the tears, didn't want her to see them. I'd miss them terribly, and my heart ached for the family I'd been robbed of having twice now.

_Let me keep my family_, she'd said to Tseng. I didn't think I would be so lucky.

By the time we reached the exit to the mansion, I saw Reno leaning casually by the door, waiting. He did not look as impishly happy as he usually did. Aerith shrank back when she felt me come to a stop just a few paces away from the flame haired man.

"You," he started, wagging his finger in my direction, and shaking his head.

"You have stirred up quite a little ruckus, you know that?" He continued, stalking towards me, like a hyena did their prey.

I held my ground, raised my fists.

He threw his head back and laughed at me then.

"Why do you always assume I'm going to fight you? Not to worry, darlin'. Direct orders from boss man prevent me from harming a single hair on either of your bodies," Reno explained. Although he claimed he wasn't going to hurt us, the intent was obvious in his tone and body language: he certainly wanted to. He played with one of Aerith's loose curls as he said this, watching it fall. She flinched, but didn't stop him.

"You mean, the same way your little 'trustworthy' guard had trained her gun on us after we had wanted to leave peacefully?" I seethed.

Reno sneered, and then leaned forward so that his face was only mere inches from mine. He was still bouncing his rod over his shoulder. The tip of it seemed to spark with blue electricity.

"Isn't like you didn't give her good enough reason to, little monster," He whispered against my face, his breath smelling of cigarette smoke and whiskey.

When I tensed up, his smile returned and he waved his hand at me. "Oh, you're such an easy mark! I'm just kidding! Elena's a rookie, cut her some slack. I'm not one to be makin' rookie mistakes, darlin'. Boss man wants his little bird taken care of, and I don't like to disobey orders."

"What makes you think I'd trust you with my sister's life, after everything?" I shouted, letting out some of my pent up frustration.

It was Aerith who stepped forward, and answered my question, staring at Reno as she did so. "Because, Tseng would tear him apart if he tries anything stupid."

She moved towards the taller man, not looking back at me. They both stared at each other, jade green eyes locking on to one another, having some sort of contest.

It was Reno that blinked first, and he laughed when he saw my bewildered expression. "Aw, didn't your sis tell ya? Little bird here used to be boss man's caged pet," he explained.

_"He's...he's a nice man, I suppose. Whenever the Don wants to beat me, he usually steps in, and manages to calm the filthy pig down. It's sweet of him."_

_ "Do you...like him?"_

_ A shrug of shoulders. Fingers nervously play with a loose thread on the quilt. _

_ "He's handsome, if that's what you mean."_

_ "Not what I asked."_

_ "Maybe he can grow on me..."_

_ "What's his name?"_

_ A pause._

_ "...Tseng. His name is Tseng."_

The conversation had come back to me, like a flashback buried beneath many memories, it had suddenly resurfaced at Reno's words. She _had_ told me about him. Even now, Aerith didn't deny what the redhead had implied.

"So, are we going, or bleeding to death on all this lovely marble tiling?" Reno asked me.

I looked to Aerith, who spared me a small, understanding smile, and then I took a step backwards. I shook my head. "I'm not going just yet, and you can't make me," I stated.

A look of annoyance crossed Reno's features. Aerith took hold of his arm, and he looked down at her, evidently cross.

"Hurting her will have the same effect as hurting me, so don't even think about it. Now, I believe Tseng told you to take me to a hospital," Aerith threatened.

Reno kissed his teeth and rolled his eyes. As he opened the door for Aerith, he offered me some parting words, "Try not to do anything foolish, monster. It'll only end up getting you killed anyways. And we both know you're too valuable a thing for that."

He winked, and then closed the door behind him, Aerith leaving with him. I knew I hadn't said my goodbyes properly, but I was certain my sister understood that I loved her. It was better this way. Maybe she wouldn't lose any sleep assuming I'd still see her in the morning.

Once I was completely and utterly alone again, I didn't waste another moment wallowing in anymore self pity. I dashed towards the basement, feeling apprehensive about what I would find down there. My heart raced, but it was weak and thready, probably due to all the blood I was losing. By now, my entire affected side was numb from the overwhelming surge of pain. Aerith had been right; it was forcing me to limp, seeing as how the slightest bit of pressure would cause it to flare up in agony. I forced my thoughts to Cloud and Zack instead.

I thought of my sins.

All of them.

Of my stepfather's blood.

Of my mother's coma, the one she'd never wake from.

I thought of the Don's death, and Aerith's rape, of Elmyra's missing fingers.

I had wanted forgiveness for all of it.

Thought I could earn it by working hard, by pretending to be what I wasn't.

But the only way I could atone for it, was if I stopped denying what I was, and, instead, used everything I had, even the bad, to help others.

I couldn't solve Zack and Cloud's poverty problems. I couldn't stop them from prostituting themselves to people unworthy of their bodies.

All I could try to do, was save their lives from a man who took pleasure out of destroying them. At least, that was what I wanted to believe when I found myself staring down the deep, dark stairwell leading down to the basement.

Hesitant, and extremely scared, I clenched and unclenched my fists, suddenly unsure of what I was doing. But then I heard it; a muffled cry of pain, forced out as if the effort alone was too difficult to manage anymore. As if the body was so tired of screaming out for help, it had exhausted itself. That had been all the motivation I'd needed; I sprang into action.

I ran down the stairs, two at a time, panting heavily, and covered in a cold sweat. I used my hands to feel along the brick walls that encased the stairwell. The soft whimpers grew louder the further down I went.

By the time I got to the bottom, I didn't think stealth was going to matter. Sephiroth would already know I was here. I was so overwhelmed, so nervous, that I only could take in the important parts of my surroundings.

First, I was greeted with the sight of his long silver hair.

Then, the dim, eerie greenish lighting of the basement.

Zack.

Bloody, eyes closed. He laid in a corner, knocked out, a bright red line seeping down his temple.

Drip...

Drip...

Drip...

A tray of strange and sharp instruments, near Sephiroth's hip. Fresh blood on the tips, dark crimson, almost black.

Cloud's body, naked and bound. Gagged, beneath the general's tall, looming body.

Cuts, blood, holes, marks. I couldn't even see the colour of his flesh anymore.

And Sephiroth, with masamune.

An anger I never knew I had, never realized I'd kept so dangerously tucked away, was like a flame becoming a volcano inside of me. It shot up, burst and consumed me, until I could feel the sparks of red come off my skin. My pain was temporarily forgotten, doused by the flames. Not even my blurred vision mattered. I could see my target clear enough. Couldn't miss all that shining, long, almost-white hair.

My eyes spared a glance back to the blonde boy being tormented within an inch of his life for someone's sick pleasure. Cloud had done this for me. He'd done this to help my sister, knowing exactly what he'd gotten himself into. He'd known. He'd known this would happen, and did it anyways. He never did expect me to come back for him, not even when he had asked me to. It was a miracle he was still even alive at this point.

My chest tightened, and I was overcome with both the feeling of deep gratitude for what this man had done, and a thirst for revenge against the villain who was brutalizing him.

And then, someone had spoken up, breaking the silence and stilling Cloud's whimpers.

"Let him go."

It was mine, but it didn't sound anything like me.

I stepped out of the shadows.

Sephiroth didn't quit tinkering with his little metal toys.

I knew Zack was inches away from me, lying in a pool of his own blood, with even more broken parts than Aerith had sustained. I was also very much aware of Cloud's pain. I knew he was dying.

Yet, my gaze remained trained on the general. He'd heard me come down the stairs, knew of my presence before I had spoken.

"You'll be joining your friend, if you persist," he threatened, his voice void of any emotion.

I took another step, clutched the brass knuckles in my hands, tighter.

"And I won't repeat myself."

"Neither will I," he countered.

The tool dug a hole into Cloud's side, causing him to writhe and scream against his bindings.

I didn't give Sephiroth another warning. I dashed at the silver haired warrior, a battle cry dying on my lips as I put forward everything I had, every little bit of strength left.

He turned on me then, swiftly, and green eyes flashing. He was fast, faster than was humanly possible. With a single gloved hand, he shoved me back. Everything around me was closing in, a black curtain falling, stars in a midnight sky. For a minute, I felt as if I were floating. Then, I came crashing back down to the intense, sharp pain in my head and back, jolting me awake. The cool brick against me was proof that he'd slammed me into the wall with the force of his push. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw fingers, pale, laying in a sea of crimson, and realized that I was next to Zack's unconscious body. His chest was moving, albeit very slowly.

He was still alive.

But not for long.

The blood still dripped, matted down his jet black hair. A head wound, like me. I could barely fight to keep my eyes from closing. I wanted to join Zack in the lull, in a peaceful slumber.

But the sounds of Cloud's cries from Sephiroth digging holes into his body, kept me from losing my focus.

I fought to keep my eyes open, fought to regain my vision, fought the blackness that I so desperately wanted to give into. I turned away from the urge to lie down and sleep, to never wake. My head pulsed, throbbed with a pain so vivid, stars were shooting before my eyes, and the ends of my body tingled. I stumbled to my feet, hands shaking, almost falling over twice.

I stepped towards him again, dragging my feet. My breathing was ragged; sweat came off my pale skin in buckets. The world swayed.

"Do you have a death wish?" he asked me, still using his tool to continue to puncture Cloud's body. The metal bed he was strapped to, grated as he jerked violently against it.

I didn't have enough energy to answer him, didn't know if I could even find my voice, lost amongst the sea of red that my body had become.

I raised my fist, still shaking, and tried to focus the blow.

He caught my hand in his, and twisted. I cried, and fell to my knees.

He stared down at me, cat-like eyes glowing unnaturally. He smiled. His face was splattered with Cloud's blood.

"I can grant you that wish," he stated, his voice oddly calming.

And then, his gloved hand was around my throat, tight, squeezing.

My feet lifted off the ground. I couldn't catch any air. I struggled helplessly against his vice like grip, very much aware of the smell of blood, of iron.

He lifted me higher still, until I had to look down to meet his eyes. I kicked at him, my efforts in vain. I couldn't even reach him. I tried scratching at the hand holding me, worked at prying his fingers loose, to no avail.

This was it.

This would be it.

So this was going to be my end.

Memories.

Flashbacks.

Cloud, kissing me in a field of flowers. Zack, naked and whispering his love into my ear. Aerith's smile and sweet laughter, fading away into a memory. Sister Elmyra's prayer against sin, with her gentle hands running through my hair. Images of an innocent little girl, happy and normal, with her mother. Her father. They swung her between them, and she giggled. Neither of them had faces.

Tears, hot, the only real part of me still alive, the last little bit, streamed down my cheeks as the images seared my mind.

_"I'm sorry..."_

The grip loosened, air rushed back into my lungs, and my desperate little heart continued to beat, feebly clinging to whatever life it could.

Sephiroth's face swam beneath my vision. He looked at me with a new found affection, a shock registering on his face. Awe, even. His mouth opened, and he whispered the word that would be the end of me.

_"Sister..."_

-.-

**A/N: **_Super evil cliffie here, probably the worst one. But with the promise of so many frequent updates, you can't hate me too much, right? Sad to say guys, I've got about 2-3 chapters tops left for this. :( But there you have it, perhaps the biggest plot revelation yet. Feedback is, as usual, welcomed. :) _


	20. Born in Blood

**A/N: **_So begins the countdown. Everything is going to be answered here, and we'll reveal what Sephiroth meant when he'd called Tifa sister. :)_

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Nineteen:**

**Born in Blood**

I didn't remember the boy.

I didn't really remember any of it, actually. It was possible that they'd been buried somewhere inside of my mind. Hojo's experiments had done quite the number on me, and he was making certain that I didn't recall the horrifying facts about any of his projects. I'd always thought that his death was brought upon by his sin unto my mother, but now...now I knew otherwise.

Sephiroth's accusation had brought them all back, made them resurface, like they'd been there this whole time. Like, the knowledge was in some sort of box, locked away for my own safety. For my own sanity. The first of them that flashed through my head, the one linking them together, was Elmyra washing the blood off of me after Aerith had brought me home.

I didn't understand at first, didn't get why I'd chosen that moment to linger on, specifically. Yet, when I paid attention, I couldn't help but notice the way that her eyes would purposefully ignore the strange markings on my arms, on my neck, stomach, and legs.

Where had they all come from? Those soft, purple marring of bruises. What was their story on my body?

And then, like an interwoven web, I followed the strings of thought, hidden into the darkness, ever ongoing. I found them, then. Forced open that box, despite the warnings and the signs. They flooded out, attacked my mind, stung the nerves of my body as it relearned the familiar pain.

Thick needles.

So many of them. Not meant for puncturing human skin.

The marks that were left behind, scarring left over from the experiments.

_I_ had been the experiment.

No, no.

That wasn't right.

I wasn't the pet project.

Couldn't have been.

Something else.

The barrel of the syringe would glow with an eerie green liquid inside it, almost luminescent in the darkness of Hojo's lab. It was all I could see, all that I feared. It made my skin crawl, made me want to get away.

It flickered green in front of the professor's glasses, obscuring the sinister smile on his twisted face. He'd always tied me down with stronger binding, because I would try to fight as soon as I saw it. Blackness came and went as I fell unconscious, only to awake screaming from nightmares, sweat ridden. The marks would be fresh, my own blood sliding down the length of my forearms from the holes he had made.

_"Subject zero twenty-one refuses to display any signs of contamination. The cells do not pick up the substance, but there is also very little signs of apoptosis. Immunity is uncertain, the dosage has been small. Only three millilitres currently administered. Will continue to monitor..."_

I'd remember that voice anywhere. The very sound of it set my skin on fire, had me itching to get away as fast as possible. The thing of bad dreams, it followed me. Hojo's voice, into his little recorder. The sound of the little click as he turned it off when he'd finish speaking.

_Click._

My face would be salty with tears and sweat. Everything would hurt, everything.

The small muscles of my body ached; my stomach lurched, my brain pounded in its confinement of my skull. I couldn't open my eyes, couldn't remember that I needed to breathe.

Cool, clammy hands rested on my forehead, setting ease to the fiery flesh. The smell of antiseptic overwhelmed me.

_"A fever? Perhaps an immune response?"_

Whatever it was, I wanted it out. Needed it out.

_Get it out of me!_

It doesn't belong, it isn't me.

**But it's still here. **

It is. I can feel it inside of me now, like a snake curling itself around my heart, constricting and choking until I accept its presence.

Sephiroth had opened my mouth. Cold glass against my lips. Liquid dribbled down my chin while I choked on the contents he was feeding me.

My eyelids fluttered open, struggling to gain focus as I coughed violently. The world seemed to grow back around me as I was once again in the basement of the Don's mansion, and out of the box of memories that I so desperately wanted to continue trifling through.

Alice, coming out of the rabbit hole.

He closed my chin with a forceful grip, leaving me no choice but to swallow whatever was stuck inside my mouth. I gulped it down reluctantly, if only to be rid of its flavor quicker. It tasted wretched, and it burned all the way through me.

Sephiroth moved away then. From where I was propped up against the wall, I could see his long, muscular, boot-clad legs. I didn't have enough strength in me yet to tilt my gaze upwards.

I couldn't kill him like this, not even if I tried.

But I was back, alive, and it was shocking.

He removed his gloves, and then wiped his hands of the crimson, sticky mess, with a stained and tattered rag.

Cloud's blood.

The boy was silent now. Didn't move. Didn't fight. I'd almost forgotten about him.

Gone from the world?

Already, it was a more desolate place.

My heart throbbed in grief at the thought of my failure.

"You were supposed to be dead," Sephiroth spoke, drawing my attention away from Cloud.

I glanced at him through eyes that demanded I shut them.

_Sleep,_ the voice said.

_Go to sleep, little Tifa._

The potion he'd given me fought the voice, forced me to awaken. The pain in my side was a dull ache. My head still pulsed, but not as violently as before. My fingers lay dormant on the cold floor, useless next to me.

Yet, my heart pumped away, pumped the life into me, and, unknowingly, pumped, too, whatever that thing was that I had harboured inside.

"You killed him, my so called 'father'. Bathed in his blood, even," a slow, sly smile, and then, "The plan of his backfired, I see."

I cringed, tried to gather my bearings. My chest tightened with the effort of every breath I'd take. The potion worked through me, numbing the pain for the time being. A promise to keep it at bay, if only for the moment.

With a surge of defiance, I spoke the words through a choke on my own bloodied spittle, "You are _not_ my brother!"

His smile grew wider, his eyes aglow with mirth, resembling every bit the liquid from my locked away memory. That _thing_ taking up refuge inside of me. It was in him, too.

He picked up his tools, and started wiping them clean of Cloud's blood with the rag in his hand. The white of the item was destroyed by the dried spots of browns and reds. It made me nauseous.

I struggled to my knees, my body too weak to listen to me.

"Oh, but I am. You and I, we aren't so different. Haven't you noticed?" His voice was deep, rich.

It was hauntingly beautiful to listen to. So smooth, like a gentle caress against my skin. There was no terrifying edge, no sign of a malicious villain. Only a pleasurable shudder.

I panted, on my hands and knees, my hair sticking to my sweaty face, the longer strands falling forward and obscuring me from his sight. My elbow joints shook, unstable and weak, wanting to give out under me. Where was the strength?

It mocked me, dormant, unhappy. Unsatisfied. It would never answer my call, not the way it did my brother's.

"I am nothing like you," I whispered into the cement of the basement floor, watching as my own blood began to form a small, deep-red, pool under me.

He laughed. It echoed, and I was once again taken by its strangely attractive sound. He was built for being what he was.

"Denial?! Everyone knows what you are, you cannot run from it forever, cannot hide behind false prayers and false Gods," He paused, letting that detail sink in before continuing, "You're a monster, Tifa. Just like me..."

I shook my head, bit down on the bottom of my lip as I tried to ignore him, tried to ignore the truthfulness in his words, seeping into my mind.

"No! I'm not...I'm..." Tears gushed down my cheeks, and I was surprised, unsure of where they'd been keeping away all this time.

"The bloodlust, the irresistible urge to kill. Yes. Hojo's unexpected side effect; Jenova cells make you stronger, but what he hadn't anticipated was the insatiable hunger that cannot be quelled with absolution, or forgiveness. He learned that the hard way, as you realize...You and I, we were damned before knowing it. The flaw in the design," Sephiroth confirmed.

I tried to shut him out, tried to force the words to silence. I didn't want to hear it. My own scream echoed against the walls, drowning out his sweet, sweet laughter.

"You know it, now. You can never un-know it, and the knowledge of it will eat away at you, slowly. Better to just come to terms with it; you enjoy the kill," he hissed at me.

The words would sink in, despite my efforts to keep them out. The demons, the shadows that followed me, haunted me. They were a part of me. Only, I chose to run from them, to cut them out and pretend they weren't there.

I was good.

I was good.

I was a good girl.

But they'd whisper into my ears at night, sing me a lullaby of nightmares, beg to rejoin me, to awaken what was already put to slumber, deep beneath all of the layers.

_Jenova cells._

They'd been there when I'd killed Hojo, and they'd also been there in the room when I'd killed the Don. They enjoyed it, pushed me farther and farther along. If it hadn't been for Aerith, I...would I have even bothered to stop?

"It's better once you accept it, sister, trust me. Embrace it. There is no forgiveness for something so innate. There is no cure. The sooner you realize this, the better the life you will come to lead," Sephiroth continued, still cleaning and organizing his torture tools.

_No._

There were no more tears to cry now, and my breathing, although ragged, was retaining some normalcy.

Jenova had tried to make a home in me.

"The cells...do not pick up the substance," my voice mimicked Hojo's words on his little recorder.

Sephiroth's ominous eyes glanced up at me, his smile only faltering slightly.

"My body refused _them_," I explained, my voice shaky.

I took a nervous step forward, the pain in my body becoming all too real as I forced myself to move. Sephiroth remained rooted to the spot, watching me with a strange amusement settled into his features.

"I was the flawed experiment..._You _were his prize." One foot after the other.

I remembered the boy.

I remembered him now, how could I have ever forgotten?

He'd been there all along, watching. Just watching.

Quiet, distant, empty. A vessel for the creature standing before me. The perfect body for Jenova to inhabit, to control.

He hadn't flinched when I'd screamed, hadn't reached out to help when I'd begged him to.

He hadn't reacted at all.

A puppet, an obedient puppet.

And the true experiment.

"I was nothing more but a guinea pig for your foul creature of a father!" I cried, the anger boiling inside of me, calling to the secret dwelling within.

"It was _me_ he tested it on! _I _was expendable! But you...you were untouchable. You were a true born warrior," I laughed, the sound bubbling out of my mouth like a poison.

Sephiroth's smile was almost gone. He stayed utterly still as I pieced out the puzzle right in front of him, all coming together so nicely. I decoded the horrible message inside that box, the memories Hojo had forced me to forget, and was sorry for it.

The sadness and anger married together on my face, as I remembered it all.

"Oh, God! Oh, God! He destroyed me! Destroyed my life! I would never be normal, not ever again! A failed experiment, something to be tossed aside, never to be fixed! Your father robbed me of everything I had!" I screamed.

Then, with venom, I added, "He _killed_ my mother. Beat her into a coma. Because she knew what he was doing to us, realized it. And he killed her to keep her silent...He took _everything_, and left me with nothing..."

A moment of silence while I absorbed it all. The heart ache from years past returned, fierce and relentless and fresh. The misery crashed down on me like a weight that could never be lifted. The truth burned me, scorned me for letting it out of the safety of the box. It tsked at me, chided me for searching it. Asking me if I was happy now.

I wanted to collapse to the floor, to meld into the cement, and become part of it, become something else, anyone but me. To disappear, to sleep forever. Anything to make me forget what I'd relearned.

I was standing before my brother, the last family I had left, and I knew that he was pure evil.

And maybe...

I was just like him.

Could we ever learn to love? Ever learn to understand such a concept? I thought of Aerith, and Elmyra, and their bond.

Sephiroth had sought that connection through pain, through torment. Cloud lay in his own blood as evidence of this. Was that the only way he could ever show feeling? By taking life that didn't belong to him?

The Don had deserved what had come to him, I knew that. But who was I to take his life?

I wasn't God.

I hadn't the right.

When had his punishment stopped being about Elmyra's and Aerith's pain, and when had it become...about me?

"You weren't his first...," Sephiroth's voice brought me out of my own reeling thoughts.

I stared up into his eyes, mystified by the warm glow.

"Your father had had a similar reaction to yours. Only, Hojo had pushed too far with him, hadn't been as careful as he was with you...," Sephiroth explained.

My eyes widened at his words.

My father.

I didn't even remember him, he'd been dead for so long. Faceless man.

Time seemed to stop then, frozen, as I hung on to every beat. I waited patiently for Sephiroth to say more, to say anything at all. Confirm my fears, or ignite my hope.

When he didn't, I forced the question, "The reports had said that he'd died in action...Is he...is he alive?"

He enjoyed the pregnant silence that followed, smiled even. He let the question linger if only to watch me suffer it.

"That story you know was fabricated to make it easier for your mother, to lure her into Hojo's arms. No one knows what truly became of Hojo's...'failed' experiments. Everyone was certain he exterminated them. Yet, here you stand, evidence that that may not be the case," Sephiroth stated calmly, scanning the length of my broken body with a mild curiosity.

The realization created a tiny pang of hope inside of me, and I clung to it. "He could be out there, then..."

Sephiroth laughed at me, amused by how pathetic I looked. "The probability of that is not very good, little sister."

"Yes, well. I should have been dead by now, but I'm not. What would you have said my chances were in regards to that?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow at me, and then answered my question as if I was such a simpleton, "The alien cells aren't as active in you, it's true, but anyone infused with them and still alive, benefits from their immunity properties. It's quite simple; if the host dies, so does the parasite. That, and the potion has bought you some time."

The parasite inside of me. Jenova.

Of course.

It made sense.

It all made sense.

Kill the host, kill the monster.

"How long before it wears off?" I asked him, the gears of my mind moving, and locking into place.

"Not long. Exert yourself any further, and the potion will be rendered useless," he explained.

He turned then, gave me his back. He prodded at Cloud with his fingers, and the boy moved.

"Oh, this one has always been strong." Sephiroth sounded like a boy in a candy store; giddy with excitement. It was repulsive.

But I knew what I had to do.

It was so simple; I almost wanted to giggle right along with my brother, to join him in his lunacy.

It would be quick, if I could only muster up the last wee bit of strength that I had left; using the remaining effort of the potion he'd fed me.

Masamune was left unattended, neglected by her master. So close, and so unguarded. The blade shone in the light, pulling me in, beckoning to be taken a hold of, like a lover long gone.

The action would be easy to execute.

All I had to do was reach...

And reach I did.

One moment with his back to me, and the blade was in my hands, heavy, and yet fitting against the skin of my palms so well.

He didn't have the chance to fight me, how could he? He hadn't even expected it. Why would his own brethren turn against him?

But even monsters bled.

He stared at me, fingers clutching at the sharp edges of his own sword, where Masamune marked him. She held him there, and glimmered with the sheen of the warm, crimson fluid seeping out of him.

Blood dripped down from his palms where he held her tightly.

I pushed deeper then, and with a cry, sliced upwards, towards his heart.

He fell to his knees. Blood was filling his mouth, spilling over his lips.

I pulled her all the way out, and then dropped her to the floor, the sound of metal hitting cement when it danced on the ground. The adrenaline was gone, leaving behind an unsteady heartbeat, and short, shallow breaths.

The potion was done with me, worked out of my system as all the wounds on my body reopened.

He stared up at me, shocked; trying to breathe, trying to formulate words for my betrayal, but nothing would come. Not ever.

"This world...wasn't meant for creatures like us, brother...," I told him, my voice laced with grief.

The last of my kin, and I'd killed him.

I shook my head, as he continued to stare at me with pleading eyes.

_Save me..._they said.

But he had stood and watched, and now, it was my turn to do the same.

"Good-bye..." I whispered.

He fell forward with a heavy thump, the pool of blood quickly growing from beneath him, drenching strands of his long mane of silver hair.

I turned, clutched at my bullet wound, and limped to the other side of the metal that held Cloud captive. I tried desperately to undo the tight bindings that held him in place, my fingers aching as they skidded over the tight knots. I never did get very far. I wasn't sure what did me in. Didn't know if it was the pain, didn't know if it was all the blood loss finally taking its toll. What I did know was that the parasite living inside of me, I was going to kill it. I was taking it down with me, and there would be no more of its evil seed.

I suddenly felt shorter, Cloud's head disappearing beyond the sight of the metal grating. By the time I'd realized that I'd slipped, I was greeted with nothing but black.

Pure darkness.

Beautiful, blissful, peaceful, vast, empty...

Darkness...

-.-

**A/N: **_There it is, folks. One more chapter after this, and it's over. I'm sad to even write it. :( Feedback, as always is welcomed. Thank you. :)_


	21. Requiescat In Pace

**A/N: **_Well. Not much to say at this point. This is the final chapter, folks. Thank you for sticking with it this far, and here's hoping this last bit has been worth the wait. It saddens me to know that by the time you've scrolled down to the bottom of this page, AWCMH will be finished for good. Nonetheless, let's go out with a bang! Know that I mean it when I say...enjoy._

**Angels Will Carry Me Home**

**Chapter Twenty:**

**Requiescat In Pace**

Only some things are certain in life. I've learned that in the hardest of ways.

I've learned of love, and I've learned of evil. I've had the misfortune of carrying a part of that within me. Death is only the beginning, so I am not afraid of dying. I've managed to rid the world of something so purely evil, that I cannot say that it has been in vain.

My only regret...

I couldn't save two beautiful souls from the hands of my half brother.

I'm not sure what I expected to find once this body had run its course, once the cells of the alien calamity inside of me withered away. I can feel them fighting it, fighting what is inevitable. The human part of me has always refused them, and maybe that part has always been good. The Jenova cells may have played me for a host, but it has been them that have needed me alive in order to thrive. As my heart begins to give out, they flounder and struggle. They die out, slowly, my own body taking them down with it. They scream and writhe and fade away into nothingness, just as I am.

I'm floating in a sea of it.

Heaven?

Hell?

What's the difference?

I've lived through them both.

Hell has been the curse I've tried running from. Hell is watching everyone I've learned to love, disappear from my life way too soon. It was in the way my mother would never ever wake, in the way Sephiroth mutilated Cloud's body, in the way the Don had raped my blind sister, twice. Hell was not being able to do anything for them, always too late. It was having no control over the darkness that I was forced to carry. My guilt, my sins...

But heaven. I have known it, too. It's in Elmyra's gentle caress, as she soothed and mended a broken child, putting her back together at any cost. It's in the depth of Cloud's eyes, in Zack's twinkling grin. It's in Aerith's voice, gentle and loving and beautiful. It's in the palm of her hands, in her fingertips, as their warmth radiates through the cool and clammy skin of my forehead.

_"She's going to be all right."_

It's an echo, a faded sound lingering in the emptiness I float on through. A reminder that not all has been lost.

_"It's amazing she has even survived this. Hypovolemic shock from severe blood loss is fatal, and not something anyone can recover from quite so easily. Your timing, Ms. Gainsborough, was impeccable."_

I don't know that voice.

I can't put a face to it, no matter how hard I try. My mind is paralyzed, suspended.

_"I can hardly take any credit for that. But the blood, that's definitely mine..," _a pause,_ "...She's such a handful..."_

Fingers dance across my bangs, brushing them to the side, and I try to focus on the feeling, clinging with a maddened desperation.

_"She needs to rest, is all. Her wounds are no longer life threatening. I've also left some notes with your mother. However, please, don't hesitate to call me if anything new should arise. Now, I do believe that I have some other patients that need tending to. Excuse me."_

Footsteps echoing.

The faint smell of Aerith's perfume tinkles my senses, and I know she's close by.

Her hand is still on my skin, still healing.

I muster a final thought, a small smile before I let go.

_**Heaven.**_

-.-

I slip in and out of dreams, nightmares, before I can finally open my eyes. The nightmares are bad, awful. Memories of the night I killed Hojo, of how he beat and bloodied my mother. My body turning into a monstrosity I have no control over, the Jenova cells infused within me merging with my own, corrupting as they move along. I scream and scream, but the effort is futile and they mock me with malicious smiles. Then, there's Sephiroth. My brother, his eyes flashing unnaturally. He offers me a gloved hand, and down the rabbit hole I go again. He cuts into Cloud while I watch, and only when it's nearly over do I realize that it is my hands coated in his blood.

The other dreams are good to me, though. I dream of Aerith, of Elmyra. Sometimes, I spend time with my mother and my father, although they remain faceless. I can no longer tell what is memory and what is only a hopeful thought. But mostly, I find that I dream of Cloud...

Only, his body is healed, and perfect, and he is...happy. He smiles, a smile that reaches his eyes. There's a childish youth, untouched and undisturbed when he sits next to me. A field of flowers, endless, and his hand grazes mine. The sky matches the colour of his eyes, and I can barely tell which is more beautiful. My skin glows, feels warm, and it could be the sun, or it could simply be the way he's making me feel. Seeing him happy, safe, alive...

It's enough to make my face wet with tears.

My eyes shot open, my heart jumping within my ribcage. I felt the room spin around me while I tried to gather my bearings.

I was in my bed, in my room. My body was sore, and the pain throbbed to life with a vengeance. I tried to sit up, working through the insurmountable ache in my bones. The room was quiet, empty. The curtains had been drawn back, allowing some sunlight to filter through. I was covered in a cold sweat, and, in an effort to be sure I was alive, I touched my face. I felt my own skin, smooth and wet with tears and sweat. The more time that passed, the more I became responsive to my body. There was an itch on the front of my hand where a bandage covered the wound from an IV line. My breathing was normal, my head pulsed. I looked under the sheets to notice that I was wearing one of Aerith's simple and loose night dresses. My pale skin was marked with healing bruises and cuts. There was a bandage on my head, and I hissed in pain when I touched the bump beneath it. The split on my lip hurt when I moved my mouth.

I turned to attention when the door to my room creaked open, slowly. Sister Elmyra's eyes were downcast as she entered, focusing on the items in her arms. I didn't miss the white gauze still around a single hand, knowing that her fingers were still gone. She carried a large, silver bowl of water, and a white fluffy towel against her as she closed the door behind her.

She turned, looked up, and stood frozen to the spot, watching me with shock and wonder. Her mouth opened when she realized that I was awake.

"Oh...," was all she managed to whisper.

She settled the things on the table next to me, and fell to my side, her good hand brought to her quivering lips, and watering eyes.

"Oh, thank goodness...," she whispered, bringing her hand towards me in a hesitant gesture.

She stroked my hair lovingly, and then gripped me by the shoulders, and pulled me into a tight embrace. I felt her shoulders shake against me, and knew she was sobbing. I was surprised by my own eyes burning with unshed tears as she held me, and brushed my hair with the fingers she still had. She kissed the top of my forehead, drawing in a nervous breath as she did so. When she pulled back, she searched my face with a smile. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. I returned her smile, even though it stung my injured lip.

She turned her attention to the things she'd brought in, and drenched the towel with some water. She then dabbed at my sweat ridden face.

Guilt washed over me for causing her to suffer so much. I had been such a blight on her existence ever since I'd come into her life. They'd burned down her home, killed her sisters, mutilated her, raped her daughter, and it was all because of me. Nonetheless, when Aerith had brought me home, like the lost stray that I had been, she'd taken me under her wing. She'd never faltered, not once. Didn't dare buck under the pressure, never cast me out even when it would have been easier thing to do. Then, when she'd discovered the monster within me, she'd assured me that she knew different, that her God had a plan for me.

_You won't become like him..._she'd told me.

She didn't believe I was like Sephiroth, didn't think for a minute that Hojo had turned me into something horrible. A failed experiment, sure, but Elmyra never saw me like what everyone else did... a lost cause.

With downcast eyes, I whispered, "I'm sorry..."

And I meant it, more than anything. I wanted to take away her suffering, make it better. I wanted to heal her wounds, like she'd healed mine. But my hands only spoke of destruction.

She gripped my chin, forced me to look at her through blurry eyes.

"There's nothing for you to apologize for, so don't you dare," she demanded, still smiling a smile of relief.

She stroked my cheek with the pad of her thumb, and said, "I'm just...so glad you're safe..."

"I shouldn't be...," I admitted.

Sister Elmyra shook her head. "If you think so little of yourself, then they have accomplished what they sought, after all. Needless to say, that is where you're completely wrong."

I stared at her, puzzled by her words.

"You have no idea, do you? The magnitude of what you've done?" Sister Elmyra probed, disbelieving.

I stared at my lap, unsure of how to respond.

"Your life is invaluable, Tifa. You saved Aerith...You brought forth the end of a tyrant, and no one has to lose a daughter to that vile man anymore...And the things you've done for those boys. One could say it was a miracle, how they've pulled through. But I know better; I know it has everything to do with you," she professed.

My head shot up, my eyes widened, my heart raced.

They were alive.

Cloud and Zack were alive.

The thought of it sent my body into a fit of excitement, of hope, and gratefulness, and love. I was going to explode with emotion.

"They're...they're alive? They aren't dead? Cloud and Zack, they're okay?!" I cried, barely able to contain myself at the news.

My heart swelled when Elmyra nodded at me, smiling.

"Recovering from their wounds, but alive they are," she explained.

I was nearly choking on the tears, caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to sob uncontrollably. I settled for embracing Sister Elmyra again, shuddering against her.

"I thought...but Sephiroth had done so much damage, and I was so late...too late. How?" I asked, fearing that I was dreaming yet again.

"Aerith..." was all Elmyra whispered against my hair.

I laughed in between fits of tears, a complete mess.

"Of course, she couldn't just let it go, could she?" I asked.

Sister Elmyra also let out a little chuckle, "I suppose she couldn't. You know your sister; stubborn like a mule. She threw quite the little hissy fit at the hospital. The man that had been with her, oh you should have seen his face, Tifa. I do believe he had been on the verge of tearing out his hair in agony and frustration. So, Aerith had forced him to call up his boss, and somehow, that sneaky child threatened to call the media, to expose Sephiroth for the monster that he was, unless he was stopped, and you three were rescued. I'm still not quite sure as to how she managed it, maybe you can weasel it out of her, but managed it she did."

"Glory hog," I mused, enjoying a laugh at Aerith's expense.

It didn't surprise me, not even in the slightest. She had known I was walking into my own death, and the woman just couldn't let it slide, not if she could help it. Three times. Three times she'd saved my life. At this rate, she was gearing past sainthood, and heading towards guardian angel status.

"I need to see them," I stated, realizing that I missed them all so fiercely.

Sister Elmyra smiled. "Normally, mother hen would forbid you to move in this condition. But, I do think you've earned it. And somehow, I think they'd all benefit from knowing that you're awake."

Like a child on Christmas morning, I scrambled out of my bed, kicking at the sheets, as if they had constricted me. Not even the pain was going to hinder my actions. I stood up, put on a pair of slippers, and dashed for the door. But before I left, I paused, and turned to acknowledge Elmyra. She was still smiling in my direction, looking happier than she'd been in so long. But most importantly, she carried a sense of pride in her expression.

She was _proud_ of me.

I wasn't all too sure as to why, but I figured it warranted gratitude. I hobbled back, and placed a tender kiss on her soft cheek.

"Thank you...," I whispered.

With that, I moved as fast as I could, making for Aerith's quarters first and foremost.

I owed her my life, after all.

I barged in, didn't bother to knock. She'd looked up from her desk, shocked by the sudden intrusion. I didn't need to speak, didn't need to let her know it was me. She already knew. I grinned and she stood up, staring at me. A wide smile graced her lips, and she was on me in moments.

We hugged, and I pretended that it didn't hurt when she squeezed so tightly.

When we parted, she said, "You're a vampire, Tifa Lockhart. You'd sucked all the blood from me, and still wouldn't wake up. I was beginning to think I'd have to drain myself to revive you."

I shrugged, "Robot or vampire, Aerith? You've got to start making some sort of distinction."

She was still smiling playfully, giddily, excitement lighting up her eyes. "Can't be a robot, seeing as how you've had sex. So scrap that theory. But vampire is definitely a possibility now."

"Well, you're the one playing hero, missy. Saving everyone's life from the brink of death? All you need now is a false persona, and you could pretty much have a whole comic book dedicated to you," I joked.

She placed her finger on her chin, as if to be in deep thought. "Hmmm. Mysterious blind girl by day, famous tough as nails heroine by night? I think I could get used to that."

"The Last Cetra, Protector of Planet Earth. Catchy, no?" I asked, referencing the ancient, legendary peoples that had once saved the world.

"Oh, Tifa," she chided.

Then, more sincerely, "There isn't a thing in this world I wouldn't try if it meant saving you..."

"I know..." I whispered in response.

"Having a temper tantrum in the hospital and driving Reno crazy? I'd say you've done everything," I said, trying to keep the situation light hearted.

"Hah. Right. I took pleasure in that, believe you me," she commented.

She took in a deep breath then, mustered up a smile, and said, "Now, I do believe you have your two charges to visit. Although they've been expelled from the program, as have you."

"Expelled?" I gasped.

Aerith nodded. "What did you expect? After the catastrophe that happened when the Don's men kidnapped me and tormented a sister because of them, they are considered too high risk to keep. The safety of the majority is most important, after all..."

I smiled when I realized something from the tone in Aerith's voice. "You fought it, didn't you? Tried to keep me and the boys here..."

Aerith rolled her eyes. "Tooth and nail. Not that it did much for you. I even threw in God a few times for good measure. Bastards are so untouchable...," she growled.

"It's okay," I reassured her.

She sighed. "I figured you'd be alright with this. Nonetheless, you're still allowed to stay in the Church. Zack and Cloud being your charges to watch over was your only fault in the fiasco. And get this, you won't believe who showed up to defend your position here..."

I quirked up an eyebrow, and folded my arms over my chest, while Aerith just grinned excitedly.

"Scarlett and her crew! To think, punching that girl was all it took to set her straight! Would have done it a long time ago if I knew. Actually, she seemed to have been inspired by your rescue effort, and maybe she was just returning the favor for you saving her own skin from the Don. Seems even she was terrified of the man. Not to mention, the men who had gang raped Cissnei, seem to have ties to him. What you did...had a chain effect, Tifa," Aerith explained.

She leaned in close, and whispered, "Killing him has no doubt made you enemies, but it's also won you respect...from a lot of people."

I didn't know if it was necessarily a good thing. I still had blood on my hands. Just another burden to carry, another dream to haunt me.

Aerith waved her hand in dismissal. "Enough of that. Go visit the boys. I'm sure they'll be wanting to see that you're alive after all."

I left Aerith alone. She had an upcoming schedule with Scarlett and her friends. The woman had brought more of them along with her. Apparently, Aerith's situation with the Don had gotten the women to open up, and earned her a spot of respect. No longer was she deemed an outsider; as far as they were concerned, she was one of them, now.

I left to visit Cloud, but ran into Zack on the way instead. Turning the corner, I'd bumped right smack into his chest, but he'd grabbed me by the arm before I lost my balance.

"Tifa?" He echoed, stunned.

I looked up at him, and smiled. He didn't look so great. His head wound had most of his head wrapped up in gauze, and there were cuts and scratches on his face that hadn't been there before. He was also walking around with a pair of wooden crutches, and underneath his unbuttoned shirt, there was a massive chest bandage around his ribcage. It broke my heart to see him in such a way, knowing that it had been my brother's doing. At the same time, I had thought him dead and gone, yet here he was.

I wanted to reach up and hug him. To kiss him all over his face. Instead, I brushed my hair behind my ear, not really knowing what to do. Touching him could hurt him, and I didn't want to cause him any more pain than he was already in.

"You're alive...," he cooed.

"Same to you...," I replied.

"Yeah well, I guess I owe that to your sister. She bargained for our lives, even when she didn't have to...," a beat, "...and you," he added.

I looked up, surprised. He smiled genuinely, no hint of mischief or double meanings.

"Me?" I asked.

He nodded, the movement making him wince. "You came back for us. You had gotten what you came for, but you came back, anyways. I don't think...I don't think anyone would ever...I mean, who cares about a few prostitutes? But you...you almost died...," he confessed.

"It wouldn't have been worth it. Losing you. Not for us, anyways. I still don't know how you pulled it off. Sephiroth had never been defeated, by anyone. But, you killed him, with his own sword," he told me, as if I hadn't realized this truth already.

"Are you scared of me, now?" I fidgeted my feet on the ground, feeling suddenly uncomfortable and under scrutiny.

"I...a little, I guess. I mean, Sephiroth was scary, and you defeated him. That's a little scary, isn't it? But you did it to save us. Which is amazing. I guess, what I'm saying is...I'm confused. I need some time to...process it all." His expression was honest.

I nodded my head, understanding. "Of course, that's fair."

It hurt me to hear it, and I tried not to show it, but I could understand Zack's apprehension.

Not wanting to stand in his presence anymore, I knew I had to get away before the waterworks would start. Not looking up at him, I said," I should really...go and see Cloud. Make sure he's doing okay."

Before he could stop me, I walked past him and didn't look back. He didn't say anything more, but I could feel his eyes boring into me as I walked away.

I found Cloud alone in the sleeping quarters. He was shirtless, and tending to his many, many wounds. The blood had been cleaned off, but the disastrous mess that Sephiroth had created was still very much there. Scars, they would all turn into scars, forever reminding him of the horrors of that night. He became aware of my presence when the door creaked open. He looked up at me, and as usual, his expression was difficult to read.

I tucked my hands behind my back, and tried to smile, unable to look at the many opened patches of skin on his torso.

"Sleeping beauty has decided to grace me with her presence," he commented, taking in my raggedy appearance.

I tried not to blush at the comment. Instead, I took a seat on the bed, right next to Cloud. I watched the bowl of water he had before him, still swirling with his blood.

"Let me help you," I instructed, taking the towel out of his reluctant grip.

I dipped it in the water, squeezed, and then set to work on cleaning the remainder of his wounds. I was careful, pressing gently. He still shuddered, still winced at the contact. He even hissed in pain when I touched on a sensitive spot.

"You don't have to do this," he said.

"I want to," I put quite simply.

"Tifa...," he whispered my name, his fingers brushing my bare arm.

I looked up at him, waiting.

He ran a hand through his hair. "I think you've done enough."

I drenched the towel again, cleansing my hands of the crimson stains in the pool of water as well. Without really thinking, I voiced my thoughts. "I sent you to your grave, Cloud. I sent you to meet your end, and you knew it. Knew it all along, but still you went. You went, understanding that I...that Zack and I weren't ever going to get there in time...But you went..."

He didn't say anything.

The silence was heavy between us, not even disturbed by the sound of the water dripping down my arms.

I looked up at him, accusingly. "Why did you do that? Why would you willing do something like that?"

He stared at me, watched the anger flicker on my face. Still, I couldn't tell what he was thinking, or what he was feeling.

"It was what needed to be done," he explained.

His answer wasn't good enough.

I shook my head. "No. Sacrificing yourself was never the right thing to do."

He gripped my arm tightly, and leaned in close to me.

"Saving your sister was the right thing to do. Helping you...that had its own worth, too," he whispered, his breath warm against my skin.

"He was going to kill you," I stated.

"But he didn't, did he? And that's because of you. Damn it Tifa, you have got to stop beating yourself up like this! First, you let people walk all over you, then you finally do something right, and you still feel worthless and undeserving of it! Why can't you just be grateful? Why can't you just understand that people love you, and want you in their lives, and that they don't care about whatever past it is you've got?!"

He gripped me by the shoulders, searched my eyes, and left me speechless with his sharp tongue.

"Stand up," he instructed.

I stared, still lost, still suffering from the afterglow of his words, and what they betrayed.

He stood up then, and pulled me up roughly to my feet. He started to drag me towards the lone mirror in the room, his grip on my arm strong enough to hurt. He stopped me in front of it, and took his spot behind me.

"What is it you see right now?" He asked me.

I gulped.

There was a girl.

She was young.

She had long, dark brown hair. It was a tangled mess right now, but it could be pretty if she tried. She had bags under her large, wine red eyes. She was pale, skin like porcelain. She looked tired, her body was a giant mess of purple and blue and red. The gauze on her head wound made her hair stick out at odd angles.

"I...I don't know," I said, honestly.

I didn't know how to answer his question, didn't know what he wanted to hear.

He ran his fingers through my hair, working out the tangles all the way down to the bottom.

"Then let me tell you what it is I see," he remarked.

The palms of his hands rubbed down the bareness of my arms, and my skin tingled where he touched me, igniting a fire beneath that reminded me I was still human.

"I see life. The reflection of what it means to fight for something that matters. I see selflessness and affection, driven out of suffering and pain. I see hope, emerging out of darkness."

He closed his eyes, putting his face into my hair, breathing me in. The gesture was so intimate, so tender, that I gasped softly in response.

He continued, his voice right into my ear, "I see beauty...tragic, but beautiful. And I also see...love."

He opened his eyes, stared at me through the mirror, locking his gaze with mine. His arms snuck around my waist, wrapped me in them, pulled me back against him. I tilted my head, exposing my neck to him. His chin rested on the crook, and I closed my eyes as his lips marked a trail of butterfly kisses across my shoulder.

I turned to face him, and he cupped my chin. His nose brushed mine, and we breathed each other in, content in each other's presence.

"You've been expelled from the program, you know..." I commented, still comfortable whilst pressed up against him.

He smiled. "I always am. Just don't fit in with proper people, I guess."

"What will you do now?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Don't know yet. What about you?"

I opened my eyes, pushed away from him. He looked disappointed by the parting, but it was the first time I actually took in the question. I knew I had earned my keep in the church, but what was I supposed to do? Fade away? Grow old, die, and do nothing?

That was when I had realized it, like an enlightment.

My story hadn't finished yet, it hadn't been told, not fully anyways.

I stared up at Cloud, already making my decision.

"I can't stay here. There's still...something I need to do. Something for myself," I confessed, the words feeling foreign on my tongue.

Cloud looked bewildered. "What? Where are you going to go?" He demanded.

I shook my head. "I don't even really know yet. But...I do know that there was more to Hojo's experiments, and I'm going to figure it out."

I couldn't tell him, I wasn't ready to. How could I admit that his crazed admirer was related to me? How could I confess that deepest, darkest secret? I had been a failed weapon for a mad scientist. And somewhere, there was a chance that my father was suffering of a similar fate...

"I'm sorry, I can't say anymore," I said.

I wanted to tell him, so badly. I wanted to open up, to have that connection with Cloud. Especially now. He was so willing, so free. He wanted to help me carry the burden. But I knew that I couldn't get anyone involved, not anymore. No one was going to be hurt because of my troubled past. I would bring no one else down with me. It was safer this way, even though it tore my heart apart.

Before I could turn to leave, Cloud grabbed me roughly, spun me around and slammed me up against him. His mouth came crashing down onto mine. The kiss was passionate, alive, different from the last time in the burned church. When we parted for air, he let go of me and said, "I'll wait for you. As long as it takes...I'll wait."

In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to stay with him. To live out the rest of my days being normal for a change, forgetting the old wounds, forgetting that the alien cells invading my body still thrived, still attempted to break me, even now. But I couldn't.

Because, even if I was happy, completely and utterly, I would always wonder...

What if...?

-.-

Aerith doesn't like it. She never would want me to leave. She'll cry when I go, and it'll be difficult to be apart for so long. I promise that I'll visit. Elmyra is more understanding of my decision to leave. She seems to suspect there's more at play here, too. She'll keep Aerith safe, and she'll keep me in her prayers. I know now, without a doubt, that she loves me like a daughter.

Zack's enlisted in the army. He plans on beating Sephiroth's statistics, and using his skills for good. I suppose his encounter with him had him feeling weak, helpless. He doesn't want to feel that way anymore. He's going to become someone others can rely on. He's also vowed to Aerith that he'll teach her some self defence manoeuvres. She's denied him many times, but I know she's actually excited.

Cloud...

He's enlisting, too. When I asked him why, he only smiled and said that it would kill the time while he waited for me to get back, take his mind off of things. He kissed me on the mouth, in front of everyone, before he left.

-.-

I am not a good girl.

I have never been anyone's favourite.

All of that was a lie.

That girl is dead, now.

I am a hero to some.

I have learned to love, and be loved.

I have a family to always come back to.

I have a home.

It isn't perfect, and it doesn't compose of your typical nuclear parts, but I can call it mine.

I have a sister who loves me dearly, a mother who has found her faith in me.

I have the pleasure of knowing somewhere out there, there's a person who waits for me.

I am a murderer. I have killed before, and I will most certainly kill again if need be.

I have packed only what I need, and I'm heading to face my past; Hojo's lab is only a starting point.

If my father is alive, I'm going to find him, and I'm going to figure out a way to rid us of the curse, to rid us both of the creature taken refuge within.

I am subject zero twenty-one. I am a failed experiment, meant to be exterminated.

I am Tifa Lockhart, and my journey is only just beginning.

_**-fin**_

**A/N: **_It's finished. Three years, and finally, I can say I've wrapped her up just the way I envisioned from the start. This story has been an adventure for me. It's been through a lot (including that bout of plagiarism), and it only makes this ending even sweeter. I had periods of not wanting to write it anymore, nearly giving up. But reading all the reviews, I knew I couldn't. _

_When someone stole my words, the readers also rallied and helped me keep this story where it belongs: to the Final Fantasy VII universe, and to the Final Fantasy VII fandom. Surprisingly, having my work stolen only motivated me to write the rest, if only because, like a reviewer said, it is the highest form of praise. _

_I'd like to thank each and every one of you. Every reviewer (I'm looking at you, too, anons), every silent reader, every follower, every one of you who has favourite this thing. You have all played a very important part in getting this story finished and pushing me to the best of my abilities. _

_For that, all I can say is, thank you. _


End file.
